LVM family members

Namtara · 2020-02-19T17:41:56+00:00

You can't change people. You can influence their decisions by challenging them, but you can't change them.

You are only responsible for yourself and your children, if you have any.

Whateverbabe2 · 2020-02-19T17:45:47+00:00

Unless you're his parent or other influential elder, its not your responsibility to raise your brother. Especially since he's grown.

I think the best way to teach men to be HVM are to raise them the same way we raise our daughters, and to teach them about feminism. My family did a good job raising my little brother like the rest of us girls but we forgot to add political commentary to his life and he found reddits redpill subs and now thinks he's a little genius for being a male. He's only ten, we're hoping he grows out of this.

EmergencyShit · 2020-02-19T18:56:38+00:00

[deleted]

Lady_Schmoobleydong · 2020-02-19T17:52:59+00:00

Your mom seems to be a big part of the problem here if she babies him this much. How does your father feel about your brother’s behaviour? Would you consider your dad to be a HVM or no? A domineering coddling mother is one thing, but couple that with an LVM dad and that may never give your brother incentive to change.

Also call your brother out, use the words “low value male” to his face, preferably in front of your parents. Shame him for being such a loser, the kind of man that dumps his girlfriend in another country and leaving her to clean up his mess. Maybe your mother will be upset, but call out her double standards. Maybe she was hard on you because she wanted you to seek out greener pastures because maybe she didn’t. Maybe her father and brothers are LVM and this is all she knows, idk, I don’t have all the info.

I do believe that people can change, but it takes effort and discipline and someone (preferably someone who has back up) to call you out on behaviours.

7_0f_9 · 2020-02-19T18:05:44+00:00

To be honest i think it's a bit late for him. And it's not your responsibility. It should have been your mother's job growing up (and fathers job, but we all know how that goes 🙄). Im working on my teenage brother right now. I feel like if it's before age 20 you can maybe still salvage them. But then again my brother always had empathy and was capable of self analysis. It's hard to say and i guess it depends on the person, but i feel like if he hasn't figured out women are human by age 25 he's a lost cause. Then again, no one saying anything to him also enables him through silence. I would go off on my brother either way if he pulled that shit. I've told off my own sisters bf. Maybe it could just take one person (such as his sister) telling him he's garbage to really jolt him back to reality. You never know. If telling him one time how you feel about it doesn't work, don't bother wasting your energy anymore. He's an adult and should be able to comprehend what you're saying.

7_0f_9 · 2020-02-19T17:51:48+00:00

[deleted]

2020-02-19T19:45:11+00:00

Can our LVM relatives and loved ones ever be shaped into HVM?

I truly do not believe they can. I’ve watched all my LVM relatives closely over the past ten years from what I’ve witnessed, they progressively get worse. They have to want to change, and they have no incentive to if they’ve gotten away with being LVM their entire lives with little to no consequences. If they want relationships, they will serial date until they find someone gullible enough to marry them. In my case of LVM family:

Dad: He has egregious spending habits and shows no signs of stopping. Married a woman 13 years younger than him who makes significantly more money. She doesn’t realize he’s planning on quitting a paid job soon so he can start his own “business.”

Grandpa: When my grandma passed away, he mourned for about a month before he started trying to date again and replace her.

Some men will simply be LVM to the bitter end.

Davina33 · 2020-02-19T19:46:33+00:00

I feel this so much. I have 3 brothers. 2 of them are real losers. The eldest brother has two boys by two women he never sees. He called his eldest son a dickhead and wasn't interested when my 11 year old nephew went missing. I straight up told both mothers to not bother with him as he has always been a waste of space.

Estelwaterbottles · 2020-02-19T20:48:49+00:00

It sucks when ur own family disgust you. I can only see myself giving him a lecture when jm older, more mature.

_anon_throwaway_ · 2020-02-19T21:06:02+00:00

He's probably a lost cause but if my brother started acting a fool I would definitely tell him and I'd talk to my mom about how she's coddling him. But I have a totally different upbringing and family dynamic.

My brother is probably a HVM, if anything a pushover. I mean, most men are trash, and I recognize this because my father and brother are not. My cynicism is earned because I have a high bar of comparison.

So you probably can't do much if you don't have anything to work with

Title	LVM family members
Author	ferociosa
Upvotes	37
Comments	18
Date	February 19, 2020 5:22 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/f6dy2z/lvm_family_members/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/lvm-family-members.682020 https://theredarchive.com/post/682020

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