Men Should Still Respect You, Even If You Don’t Respect Yourself

fuckbeingautobanned · 2021-09-24T08:34:26+00:00

“Guys, don’t expect women to respect you if you don’t respect yourselves.” said no one ever according to the article.

WELCOME TO FDS.

pumpkin-pied · 2021-09-24T05:30:58+00:00

Simple language for scrotes: Just because someone slams their head against the wall when they're mad doesn't mean you can slam that person's head against the wall too. You'll go to jail for that 💁🏻‍♀️

throwawaynevermindit · 2021-09-24T20:56:41+00:00

I've always hated this logic. Anything like "If you can't X yourself how can you expect anyone else to?" has always struck me as incredibly dumb. I expect people to treat me appropriately irrespective of how I'm feeling about myself at that moment and I expect grown adults to be able to make up their minds about me independently - of other people's opinions and even of my own opinion. I don't refer to how much people like/love/respect themselves when I'm deciding how much respect and affection to give them. I refer to their personality and behavior. To do otherwise basically just guarantees you'll end up a flying monkey for some narcissist and fail to recognize what's good and respectable in people who are more self-critical.
When people are feeling bad about themselves it is very often because they have been treated badly by the people around them, their self-esteem is responding to social cues. That makes this excuse for treating others poorly a key part of the cycle of abuse: people treat them disrespectfully ---> self-respect falls ---> more people treat them disrespectfully (because "they don't respect themselves") --> self respect falls more. You can't operate on this rationale without accepting that you will be responsible for sending people into spirals that prep them for further abuse.
What "self-respect" means for women from the male POV has nothing to do with real self-respect anyway. Men base so much of their own self-respect on "masculinity" that they can't really seem to conceive of women respecting themselves in the same way they do, for the same reasons. I remember an LVM I was involved with telling me I didn't respect myself during an argument. It was very confusing to me, and to this day I don't know wtf he meant, because in standing up to him as I was doing, I was showing more true self-respect in his presence than I had in a very long time... yet he seemed to be equating my assertiveness as lack of self-respect. Retrospectively I think he may have been operating on logic similar to this, but backward... he had been disrespectful to me, and did not respect me, therefore I must be experiencing a lack of self respect? It wasn't true at that moment though. I was pretty pleased with myself if anything because I was intentionally burning the bridge between us.

TieDieEye · 2021-09-24T20:15:07+00:00

I've literally been told this ad verbatim before by a guy who abused me and tried to justify his actions. What even is this logic.

Title	Men Should Still Respect You, Even If You Don’t Respect Yourself
Author	Love_Artemis
Upvotes	238
Comments	13
Date	September 24, 2021 5:21 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pud41u/men_should_still_respect_you_even_if_you_dont/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/men-should-still-respect-you-even-if-you-dont.1074642 https://theredarchive.com/post/1074642

Comments