Men that stop making the same effort after commitment- why?

asoww · 2020-03-02T16:29:02+00:00

[deleted]

Kekekeke7777 · 2020-03-02T15:41:50+00:00

[deleted]

boiledgatorade_ · 2020-03-02T16:36:24+00:00

I’d love to know for the future. My most recent ex, for the first few months was crazy with effort. Flying me to him + the places he was working. Flowers, edible arrangements, everything. Then he cracked and the facade wore off. By then, I was still in pickme mode and when I found out he was actually broke as hell (I was 28 he was 47), I STILL stayed with him for gasp two years. Constant fighting because I wanted the man I met. I’m sure he wanted the cool girl he met too; but of course by now I did change into paranoid “detective” because he changed! Ladies, vet vet vet!! Don’t let you guard down. Be persistent in finding out who the person you’re dating truly is. Don’t end up like me, 30, cashed out my 401K SO I COULD USE IT TO SUPPORT MYSELF because I wasn’t working so I could travel to him every month... because in the beginning he told me he would support me. Thank God I found this sub, is all I got to say.

modernmedusaa · 2020-03-02T18:49:34+00:00

Because they were only doing it to get what they want/ string you along (i.e they have 'conquered' you)
They're actually resentful of making the effort deep down
Novelty has worn off- got cold feet- still want to be peter pan
Bored- too comfortable
Sometimes it's a push/ pull thing- waiting to see if you'll accept a drop in temperature & chase them
Some pickmeisha's giving them more attention due to desperation
Other times they're just more focused on work / money etc so don't want to pursue a woman properly

level_up_always · 2020-03-02T22:17:43+00:00

bc he 'got you' that's why its important to always stay leveled up and never let him think you don't have options, and in fact should always be aware of your options anyway. having your own busy life and rejecting his hang outs sometimes, not living together before marriage, staying attractive etc. all men are like this to a certain extent they want to always feel like you're chasing you. it never stops. some people find this depressing and i did initially but now i find it freeing because it gives me permission to be selfish and focus on my own ambitions/hobbies/dreams/appearance/level up etc guilt free bc long term it benefits not only me but the relationship. men appreciate you more when they know you're choosing to be with them and have other options vs clinging and settling or letting yourself go looks wise or just not having your own life anymore and making your world revolve around them. it scares them off and they don't feel emotionally safe but smothered instead and it's a turn off.

9penguin · 2020-03-03T03:20:41+00:00

That's because they don't love you or women or sex, they love the chase, the trill, the journey. It's not you, it's all him.

Is there a way to avoid these kind of men?

You can't really avoid them but there's a way to test them after later in a relationship. Give him 'commitment trial' but don't tell him. Make it really easy for him. Fake being comfortable with him. Love him so much and give him so much attention, smother him basically, for a period of time after the start of 'commitment trial'. If he really loves you, he'll give back to you. He'll put more effort. The kind of guy who love trills, they'll get bored, stop putting effort and his eyes will start to wander.

Let him expose himself and cut him off as soon as he shows it. You'll know when he's not faking it.

ilikesoy_ · 2020-03-02T21:04:40+00:00

taking you for granted. and a lot of guys have an avoidant personality type. they loooove you when they cant have you or arent interested, but as soon as you show you care they shut up and chase a bunch of people on twitter who are dtf and dont give a shit about him

Title	Men that stop making the same effort after commitment- why?
Author	SureEmployment4
Upvotes	91
Comments	15
Date	March 2, 2020 3:39 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fcdtx6/men_that_stop_making_the_same_effort_after/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/men-that-stop-making-the-same-effort-after.681119 https://theredarchive.com/post/681119

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