I am someone who is choosing not to have biological children. I am open to the idea of fostering and adoption in the future. I think it's fine if people want their own kids, but obviously this creates a need to discuss my preferences when I am dating someone early on. I am 32 so it's not like I'm some teenager with all the time in the world.
Too often, men are shocked when I say I don't want kids. Offended, even. Probably because they take my decision, which has absolutely nothing to do with them, as a personal insult to their precious seed. Then of course they ask me why, and I list any number of reasons ranging from not ever feeling maternal to the financial, physical and career impact it would have on me. Men never think of these things because they assume their wife will just poop out the baby, take care of everything, and they'll come home after work, crack open a beer, kiss the kid goodnight and call it parenting. A brief perusal through the breaking mom subreddit is proof that men by and large do not expect to contribute anything to a household with children, yet expect their wives to cater to every need of theirs while sacrificing herself completely.
But the funniest thing to me is the reason men give for having children. The most hilarious one by far is the oft-repeated "I want to pass on my legacy." Excuse me, BUT WHAT LEGACY? You're overweight, balding, you work up a sweat while you eat, and you sit at a desk for 8 hours day in middle management doing a job that a teenager could probably do, and you think this is worthy of being passed on? It's ALWAYS the men with dead end careers who sit around playing video games all day who tout this line. As if we women should be jumping at the chance to create more pasty white average children in a world that is literally collapsing on itself.
Another reason: "I want someone to toss the baseball with in the backyard." Read: I want a son. Because screw girls, and screw any son who doesn't have stereotypical masculine interests.
"I just think I have a lot to teach and give to a child." These are the same men whose wives have to scrub the skid marks out of their underwear. Sir, you have literally nothing to offer. To anyone really, let alone a child.
Unsurprisingly, men think about having kids in regards how it benefits them only, without considering the giant imperative and burden women shoulder to bring children into the world.
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