My Dad, a HVM

I was inspired to write this, after reading Gloria Steinem's Book called Revolution from within; a book of self-esteem. A section of the book is devoted to her childhood and it's impact on her self esteem. When I saw the post on here with HVM vs. "HVM qualities", I thought I'd share about my father.

I realize how lucky I have to have had a dad who was/is always present, who was a good provider, cultivated self esteem in his 3 daughters and 1 son, and encouraged us to be all that we could be. He is not perfect but here are the reasons why he is HVM:

1. Dependable- he was at every school play, band concert and event (with the exception of 1 when I was in 3rd grade, haha. He forgot about it and felt really guilty) of mine AND also attended my sibling's events. When he said he was going to pick me up, he was always early/never late. If he said he was going to give me something (money, bday present, drivers ed, etc) he always came through.
2. Leader- when there was a death in the family, pet or person, he taught us how to grieve and held us while we cried. He taught us life would go on and all dogs go to heaven. When boyfriends and best friends broke our hearts, he made fun of them, and reminded us that the person won't matter 6 months from now, a year from now.
3. Protector- if there was a bad dream or a bump in the night, he was at the bed side. In my dream, Freddy Krueger was coming after me and he said he had enough ammo (he's a gun owner) to keep him at bay for years. When I said he needed holy water, Dad said he would get some immediately and take him out.
4. A friend- I was a divorced 28 year old and an online date stood me up. I was pretty upset. 20 minutes later, Dad showed up at my house and took me out to dinner.
5. Teacher- encouraged his daughters to be independent, embrace the arts, never depend on a man financially, know how to use tools, and get a college education. He took us on cross country road trips to historical sites and battlegrounds. :)
6. Provider- we always had food, clothing, and a roof over our heads. When we were driving, our beat up cars were dependable.
7. Educated - Dad got his Bachelors degree in something that he liked but stayed in a career he disliked so he could provided stability for us. He is a great story teller and conversationalist.
8. Hobbies- He kept busy with hobbies. He didn't go to bars, strip clubs or honkey tonks unless it was a date night with my mom. He attended church, taught youth bible study, and served during church potlucks.
9. Loving- our house was body positive and he routinely called my mother 'beautiful' after she had 4 kids, stretch marks and C section scars. However, he never commented on our appearance (good nor bad). Looks aren't everything.
10. Available - sleeps with his phone ringer on, just in case one of his 4 adult children need him because he wants to make sure we can always get a hold of him. I had a sharp pain in my foot (what the doctors identified as gout) and I called my mom first. She did not answer, it was 2 in the morning. I called my dad and he drowsily picked up. He was at my door in 20 minutes and took me to the hospital.
11. Served- he cleaned, cooked, and grocery shopped. Brought us food when we were sick. As an adult, I had a terrible muscle spasm in my neck and nerve pain. I called him and asked him if he could bring me some Advil. He wanted to make sure I had everything I needed regarding the neck so he brought cough meds, soup, throat spray, cough drops and pain reliver. :)
12. Healthy (?) - he is overweight :), but he never drank or smoke.
13. Time- he'd rather spend time with us kids than at a sports event or a bar. He made time to spend with us one on one too.

My parents ended up getting a divorce; my mother wasn't happy being married. She remarried very soon the divorce. Dad's not perfect. Mom isn't either but this post is about HVM. Even though I feel like I had a great example of a HVM, somehow I haven't found any. I've spent years in therapy, read most of the FDS wiki books plus more and I don't have the cure for LVM. haha!

Edit: someone misread and said my father went to strip clubs. He did not. Also, there’s been a lot of questions about my mother. She had, what I would call, a midlife crisis and she cheated on my father.