Never getting asked questions

Maleficent_Youth_175 · 2020-07-10T08:09:33+00:00

I get this at work! It's so frustrating. I ask a lot of questions and encourage people to talk but people rarely ask me anything and when they do they just aren't even listening. So, following.

the_marsipan · 2020-07-10T12:18:31+00:00

I really can't explain this to myself in general, very frustrating. Colleagues? Ok, sure, you're here to work and maybe just don't fancy having anything much to do with me. But in the context you gave...?

Guess it'll have to be taken for exactly what it looks like, your convo partner is not interested in you for you. I've seen people argue the point that "some are not comfortable with prodding, if you don't volunteer information it means you don't want to talk abo-" sorry, no. Nooo. No. And even if it's this innocent, it's still a mismatch in conversation styles at the least. Still, I think it's universally acknowledged that good conversations have a balanced push-pull dynamic. So if I spot too much onesidedness I'll now next them without issue.

Howslap · 2020-07-10T14:04:33+00:00

Yeah it's a huge pet peeve for me. I dont mind it at work or in social gatherings because quite frankly I dont care to know about most peoples lives 🤭 But if I am getting to know a man and he doesnt bother to ask me questions then it is an AUTOMATIC block and delete. To me it means a man doesnt care. Now maybe that isn't true, but if it's how I feel than that's all that matters. And I'd like to get the sense that a man cares enough to be curious about me AT THE VERY LEAST 🤷🏿‍♀️

jenneschguet · 2020-07-10T13:01:13+00:00

I’ve found that people just assume you’ll talk about yourself, or share whatever you’d like to; it’s just a different mentality. I think people who ask questions are often more intelligent and emotionally intelligent. Also, the people who don’t ask questions may also feel like they shouldn’t pry into your life, so if you offer the info, cool, but they won’t prompt you to talk about it. They also just may be narcissistic and not care.

vowelsareimportant · 2020-07-10T16:54:33+00:00

I am the type of person who doesn’t ask a lot of questions. I always feel like I am prying and being rude if I ask about things because I assume if they wanted to tell me about something they would. When people ask me a lot of questions I feel quizzed instead of like the conversation is flowing naturally. It’s something I’m working on since I’ve heard that not asking people questions bothers them.

ChristianGirl93 · 2020-07-10T17:26:29+00:00

*This is the one thing I’m biased on because let’s say a man asks me questions, it would be on football and fly fishing and what are you eating prompts which make the man more in control talking about mainly what he likes. However, if he leads you to ask in depth questions like what do you think of this politician, this challenge, or this scenario.. he will do one of 2 things that separate LVM from HVM. He can 1. Mirror and say, oh yeah I hate that politician too (which means they dont want you to know their true thoughts or anything about them just the facade of them agreeing with you) LVM or 2. HVM will have his own opinion like yeah I think they need to cut funding for this organization because of this and that I’ve done this in that scenario, what would you do in that situation? (Again, showing authenticity and bringing control of the conversation back to you). Some guys when you get to know them, they will be nice because they genuinely only want to talk about things that interest you because they are getting to know you and what matters to you- making you the priority and not just someone who aligns with their dream girl or Mom’s wishes for a DIL. Hope this makes sense

holodeckdeathtrap · 2020-07-11T18:01:16+00:00

I encounter this all the time.

This isn't even about prying questions. This is just normal, human curiosity that a surprising number of people seem to be lacking.

Anybody who has even the smallest interest in you is going to ask something about you other than "What are you doing?"

I've basically stopped responding to messages from guys that don't have any questions in them. Ok, you got a new car... Cool. And boring, very boring.

Flufferly · 2020-07-10T08:40:20+00:00

I haven't found a way to make people change, I just lose interest and start responding less. It's not something I think about. Some people just get caught up in the attention and will engage when they realize what they're doing, some people will drop off the face of the earth when you stop doing the work. Let them.

talented_ghost · 2020-07-10T09:32:09+00:00

Same. Following for advise lol.

mouthyhousewife · 2020-07-11T10:51:33+00:00

I am generally the one who doesn’t ask questions. I guess I just don’t think to for the most part. Anything I might want to know about someone I will probably learn through conversation organically. I find it annoying when men ask me a series of prompted questions on dates.

Title	Never getting asked questions
Author	sofieksj
Upvotes	14
Comments	10
Date	July 10, 2020 1:33 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hofwsx/never_getting_asked_questions/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/never-getting-asked-questions.704592 https://theredarchive.com/post/704592

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