Okay, I know this is going to sound hella obvious to some of you, but some dumbasses (like me) need to hear it. Always, always (always, always, always) require your partner to wear a condom. No questions. No condom? No sex.

Guess what! Your hookup/dating partner/random dude at the bar is gonna fucking hate that! And that's not your problem! Only one or two guys I've ever hooked up with didn't whine, bitch, or try and get me to not expect that they use a condom. Women are biologically way more susceptible to STDs. Any guy that pressures you is not going to be a good father, or sit at the abortion clinic with you if something goes wrong. Even if you really like this guy, just think about the guys you've *really liked* in the past who turned out to be shady or shitty. I'm not saying assume the worst of every guy, but I'm definitely saying be realistic about how a good portion of men operate. They'll say they got tested and are clean (even if they haven't). They'll say they never have unprotected sex with random people (except you for some reason?!). Don't buy it.

I made a handy guide for how to handle the inevitable excuses and guilt trips you will go through:

  • If he says, "it reduces sensitivity, it doesn't feel as good!" You say, "Not my fucking problem".
  • If he says, "I can't stay hard with a condom." You say, "Not my fucking problem."
  • If he says, "I didn't bring/don't have any condoms." You say, "Guess this isn't happening, buddy."
  • If he says, "I just got tested/I'm clean/don't worry." You say, "Congrats! Get a condom anyway."

Never, ever, ever put yourself at risk for some guy's bad lay. This is coming from a former weak ass bitch who would let herself get talked into having sex without condoms because I wanted him to feel good or like me because I didn't like or respect myself enough to say "fuck off" to any guy that would put me at risk for his own temporary pleasure.

In my experience, there is no discernible different between sex with and without a condom for women (other than having to listen to men complain about it) and men know that, so they try to guilt and shame and cajole us to avoid using condoms. But no. We need to stand firm and protect ourselves. I've seen too many women catch STDs or deal with unplanned pregnancies because the guy stealthed them, complained about condoms, or otherwise just didn't take precautions.

Always remember: every guy is 20 swipes away from being replaced. You do not need to ever put yourself at risk, and you are worth vastly more than that.