Reciprocate and that’s it

TaylaBlaze · 2020-04-01T06:50:13+00:00

I mean, I've been on both sides of this. This is what "nice guys" say when opening a door for you didn't equate to a blowjob.

galian84 · 2020-04-01T13:32:00+00:00

Damn, this hit hard. I definitely went out of my way for my ex, and then he would still have the nerve to complain and be ungrateful, and then said "Well I never asked you to do those things for me!"

Yeah. With my boyfriend now, I just mirror the way he treats me, and even though I've done a lot for him (and he does for me), I don't feel like he's ungrateful or is taking advantage.

AnnieandFish · 2020-04-01T15:30:30+00:00

That’s a real blatant “oh...you’re more invested than I am, and I’m not interested in changing that, sooo..”

2020-04-01T06:06:22+00:00

Lol even if they asked you to, they'd still say that

AngelicBastard · 2020-04-01T17:27:35+00:00

It's odd to me how some people's idea of a relationship is a "chore" or "task" they never wanted. If you don't wanna put work into the relationship you're currently in, either:

It's not the right person for you, get out of that relationship ASAP
You have the wrong idea of what a relationship is supposed to be like / need some maturing.

kaitybubbly · 2020-04-01T08:45:51+00:00

Definitely heard that before. Never again.

AngelicBastard · 2020-04-01T17:27:40+00:00

It's odd to me how some people's idea of a relationship is a "chore" or "task" they never wanted. If you don't wanna put work into the relationship you're currently in, either:

It's not the right person for you, get out of that relationship ASAP
You have the wrong idea of what a relationship is supposed to be like / need some maturing.

SleepyPuddle6 · 2020-04-01T17:23:28+00:00

This doesn’t have to do with romance all that much but I NEED to get this out because I’m sure most women here have dealt with similar scenarios and I guess I’m just in need of a little girl talk right now...

ALL of my guy friends, who I grew up with, say this kinda shit when I express how concerned I am for their health! They smoke, drink, party, stay around sketchy people, etc. (I refuse to call them men because a man to me is a male with their priorities straight, they are respectful, well kept, etc.)

I’ve been called bitchy for being concerned for their well being and it seems to be a recurring trend for most women when it comes to guys.

I’m sorry to all of you beautiful gals who’ve had similar experiences, opened up your heart and then been trodden upon. I’m also sorry for using this post to vent, I just hate how women are always labeled as overly emotional drama queens for simply expressing human sympathy and empathy.

Stay safe ladies, don’t trust anyone until you’re sure they’re genuine!

(Edit: sorry for the poor formatting/articulation, I’m very passionate about this and I just needed to get it off my chest!)

ppaulapple · 2020-04-01T08:16:46+00:00

The audacity.

pinkyberries · 2020-04-01T14:10:59+00:00

They don't "ask" yet expect you to do so without them asking.

kaceylola · 2020-04-01T16:22:27+00:00

Awe I'm guilty of saying this. Damn that hurt I'm sorry! 😭

Kombuchaaddict · 2020-04-01T21:23:36+00:00

Facts

Radtron3000 · 2020-04-02T10:37:17+00:00

They don't ask but they relish the attention

SyntheticHumor · 2020-04-01T20:31:02+00:00

Idk. I don't think it's right to expect someone to have to reciprocate just because you decide to do something nice for them. If I do something nice for someone its because I want to, because it brings me joy to see them happy, not because I want something back from them. Honestly I think it's kinda manipulative and not from the right place if you do it because you want something in return.

Besides, just because you do something nice for someone doesnt mean it's something they wanted you to, and that's just what they're expressing by saying they didnt ask you for that. I know if get really anxious if someone tries to do something for me that I cannot repay. Or if someone does something nice for me that I dont want, because they arent someone I want to be indebted to, or someone i want thinking im indebted to them.

I just really don't like this concept in general. It feels really selfish, and makes it seem like the things we do for the people we care about are done for the wrong reasons. On either side, men and women. People dont owe you anything for doing something for them unless you guys agreed to terms before hand. Interpersonal relationships aren't transactions. And putting that kind of pressure on them just makes them fall apart.

Title	Reciprocate and that’s it
Author	siberiansummer
Upvotes	967
Comments	26
Date	April 1, 2020 5:07 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fst6oe/reciprocate_and_thats_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/reciprocate-and-thats-it.679224 https://theredarchive.com/post/679224

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