My bf and i have been together for 9 months now and he’s wonderful. We’re doing ldr but since day one he’s been the one to pursue me and make things happen. He’s always makes me feel so loved and cared for in a way i haven’t experienced before. He communicates properly , is hardworking and does everything he can to make our relationship work with the long distance situation ( he visits me more, offers to help me pay for trips i take to see him, has worked extra hours + learn a bit of the language when i decided to go abroad for 2 months )
Anyways, he came over to see me before the coronavirus got really bad and we’ve been at my place for a few weeks. The other day i peeeped at his phone and saw his ex was in his dms. I immediately flipped shit. i admit, i have a fiery temper and lose my shit easily so my reaction was strong. He showed me the convo with no hesitation and i went up the thread more to the last 7-8 months ( there wasn’t a lot but still) . He had never been the one to initiate a convo, it’s her always replying to his stories occasionally and he either doesn’t reply, sends an emoji or a couple words. and i’m sure she knows about my existence bc i’ve been in his stories and she liked a pic of us he posted on FB
even when he had not replied 3 times in a row she would still send a reply to his story. The latest convo she asked him what he was doing in my city and he told her he was visiting me and that he wanted to come see me etc before things got to the point where he could not travel . She is in italy and he also asked if she was doing ok. She responded and he did not reply .
i have an anxious attachment and get jealous easily... i feel annoyed still even though the convo seemed harmless. I have a hard time trusting my gut since i always overthink my interactions with people and assume the worst, in and out of my love life. . He’s told me that their relationship did not end on bad terms there is no hard feelings. He feels neutral. They dated 3 years ago.
He told me he would tell her to stop messaging him but i told him not to bother because that would probably cause more tensions. just don’t reply.
Am i overreacting?
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