~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
seekinganyadvice
[removed]
[–]siberiansummerFDS Disciple21 points22 points23 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m a divorced mother of two. I refuse to date. I have a very rich life and have a lot of friends. Idk. Take some time for yourself for sure. 1 is a whole number
[–]StrawberryMoon3FDS Apprentice15 points16 points17 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Take him to court for giving you an STD. He endangered your life.
[–]seekinganyadviceFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
But he denies cheating. The only proof I have is my 2 negative tests during pregnancy, and the positive one in November. So, wouldn’t it be a huge game if he said she said?
[–]azureeyksFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Single mum here. Hello Firstly I’m really sorry about your fiancé cheating on you and giving you a STD. Are you ok? How mentally exhausting having to go through all that and process your own emotions AND parent at the same time. As for advise on dating. I’m no where near ready to yet. I’m busy focusing on myself and children, and too scared to lol. I don’t want to go through it all again and invest so much of myself emotionally and physically, just to get treated how I was.
So I’m focusing on my own mindset and values and what I want in a partner. Having a strong mindset and values will weed out undesirable dates real quickly.
Good luck with it all :)
[–]FraidyCat00FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
My best advice is to NOT date until dating is not the first thing you’re thinking of. Thoughts of installing an app and swiping on your mind on and off all day? Not ready. Thoughts of messaging an ex or acquaintance hard to suppress? Not ready.
If you start dating before you’re okay with just your own company, you’re at risk of settling.
[–]seekinganyadviceFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh I don’t plan on dating for a very long time. I have no real interest in it right now. I just wanted to see if there was hope for a single mom in today’s world.
[–]FraidyCat00FDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think there is hope for single parents, but like any dating keeping your standards high is key. And as moms we have to keep them even higher, more selective, ready to move on sooner/at any sigh of depravity. It’s hard.
[–]curlygirl507FDS Apprentice7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Why exactly do you want a relationship with a man?
[–]WorkingOnMyself0110 points11 points12 points 6 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I've noticed two groups. One, those who post break-up can easily self focus for a year. The second, is dating asap. One of my closest friends, her fiance cheated on her when she was pregnant, and then again when the baby was six months old. I want to add here, he only proposed after the baby was on it's way. He dumped her for the other woman. In less then a week, she was dating. Two weeks out, she was staying at a new guys house! I was/still am baffled - these two aren't in love they are crazy. Guess what! He had a "change of heart", and apparently begged her to take him back, which she has.
This same woman I feel at times had judged me for "not having a man". Multiple times over the years I've wanted to mention I don't have a man, but unlike you I have strong self worth.
Sadly, it's put a strain on the friendship. She'll say one thing and do another. None of us like the guy because of all the drama. More then once I've wanted to flat out say "You don't love him. You love his money".
Too add, he's put himself in therapy, but come on.
OP oddly none of this applies to you - I needed to vent to those that get it. My gal pals decisions are driving me nuts.
[–]siberiansummerFDS Disciple1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They are just pickimeishas
[–]ItsAnonCatFDS Apprentice0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Focus on your self. I was very young when I found myself in this position and focusing on me was really key to getting better. I fought against the idea just wanting a sense of normalcy and if I had learned my lesson sooner I would’ve been more at peace.
I accepted first of all men are often gonna disappoint but you don’t have to take their ‘good enough’
Especially now you’re a free woman so now you have to be extra protective over yourself to not settle and protect your little one.
I learned to have hobbies and I am still learning to enjoy being alone. I learned to become more indifferent with my interactions with men when I do socialize and to not be easily impressed.
I don’t tell men I have kids because it’s none of their business and most men won’t even last long enough in your life for it to matter. Also telling them often puts you in a vulnerable arena of men who think you’re easy because you’re a single mother.
Your number one goal before finding a new partner or even dating is start loving yourself
Be so interested in yourself personally and lead a busy and fun life that when you do date or use apps you don’t have time during the day to respond asap and it doesn’t have your attention staring at your phone all day.
Getting a job and busy school life / having a bustling 5 year old and one year old helped me tons to just stop being so fiending for male attention. I went as far as enrolling my children into activities to keep me busy during the week.
Make it so you love your life and a guy needs to accommodate you and your schedule when you do start dating.
You’ll be less likely to settle and also more keen to bs.
If you want to get into shape use this time to focus on your mental and physical health. Be the whole damn package without even needing or wanting a man.
When you master those things you will be in control when you go back into the dating world. Because you will be the one choosing who you let into your world and who needs to keep walking. You’ll also be a fierce protector of your lo and able to ease into things while keeping and protecting your self interests in mind.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]siberiansummerFDS Disciple21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]StrawberryMoon3FDS Apprentice15 points16 points17 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]seekinganyadviceFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]azureeyksFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]FraidyCat00FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]seekinganyadviceFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]FraidyCat00FDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]curlygirl507FDS Apprentice7 points8 points9 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]WorkingOnMyself0110 points11 points12 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]siberiansummerFDS Disciple1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ItsAnonCatFDS Apprentice0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link