Single's Inferno on Netflix - what we can learn from the hit Korean dating show (part 2)

Hi everyone,

Last week I made a post on the Korean dating show "Single's Inferno". If you haven't checked it out yet, I recommend to read it first here. Single's Inferno is a dating show where 6 Korean women and 6 Korean men are stranded on an island for 8 days and each night, they have to choose their favorite contestant (of the opposite sex) and if they pick each other, they can go on a date at a luxury hotel called "Paradise".

I usually don't like dating shows because it's just a bunch of LVM and LVW acting low value. However, this show caught my eye because they're not having sex right away and just focus on dating strategies which is very interesting to observe.

Just like in the previous post, I'm going to discuss each of the female contestants with some spoilers so beware!

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• Song Jia

I want to say more about her because she's honestly a gold mine to analyze. I emphasized a lot about her behavior in the first post and I did well because the good sis actually knows what she's doing. In the last episodes, one of her suitors said to her "You should've given me some time to talk to you" and she answered "You need to put in the effort to win someone's heart". That's when I knew that Jia is intentional and she knows the game. *hats off*

There's one thing I've noticed and I didn't point out on the previous thread: what significantly sets apart Jia from the other female contestants (outside of her not chasing men) is her emotional control. Women's main weakness is our emotions. Men know that and universally prey on them to get what they want from us. The way to prevent a man from controlling you is by controlling your emotions. Really, the control a woman has on herself and her emotions is the greatest power she can have.

Jia rarely shows her emotions regarding the men who pursue her. Some contestants even noted that she often has a poker face on and her suitors complained that "they never know what's she's thinking". It's honestly one of the secrets of her success (outside of her beautiful appearance, of course). Too many women reveal too fast how they feel about a man, or worse, let themselves be charmed by the lowest efforts from a man. By controlling your emotions (as in not acting on them rather than suppressing them), you force a man to actually earn your love, to work harder to even get a smile from you. The other contestants did not do that. Instead, they readily showed big interest in men who barely looked their way.

In general, men have a competitive nature. They love to work toward a goal and win. More than that, many would rather go after a woman that they know other men want than a woman they truly want. Why? Because the need to win over other men and get their validation/admiration is greater than the need to be with the woman they actually want. Now, if that woman is put in both categories (desirable to other men AND the woman that they want themselves), you have an irresistible woman.

You should never let a man know that he has no competition. And by no competition, I don't necessarily mean other men. Competition can be yourself. Make him work hard to even get your time and attention, let alone affection. That way you can weed out most men who just wanted to use you for sex and can actually make him value you (because he knows that he can't take you for granted and will forever remember the efforts he had to make to get you). Don't be easily available and readable.

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• Kang Soyeon

Soyeon was my favorite at first but honestly I don't even want to write more about her. During the last episodes, she went deeper and deeper into pickmeisha hell and there was no going back. I guess she would be the Korean equivalent of a Western female contestant who's going above and beyond to secure a man on a show - including sleeping with him and giving him a massage (although she didn't sleep with anyone, her actions were very 'bold' for a dating show from a conservative country so the Western equivalent would be sleeping with the man). At the end, she got picked, or should I say, settled for so yay! Her efforts weren't in vain.

She just made me sad. Also, at some point, she shows her insecurity about her age and a male contestant told her to not put herself down. So, you guys, never speak negatively of yourself. It's not a good look. It makes you look insecure.

I just feel like Soyeon is the 30 something woman who's acting desperate because she feels like she's running out of time and I just feel bad for her to have this mindset. I hope she can get some growth from watching herself and just learn to love herself and not chase after men.

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• Shin Jiyeon

I guess Jiyeon is the perfect example of the girl who settles for the guy she doesn't want but who keeps pursuing her to not be alone. Though, I don't think she should've settled, I'm just glad she didn't chase anyone anymore.

There's one thing she said at the end to the guy who pursued her HARD that didn't sit right with me "You made me feel like I'm a worthy person". Jiyeon... Sigh. You're already worthy with or without that guy. I wish she can find some love and worth within herself.

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• An Yeawon

Out of all the female contestants, saved for Jia, she kept her dignity throughout the show and I applaud her for that. She might have been unpopular with the guys but I like that she just did her own thing and after her chasing a guy didn't work out, she moved on and didn't chase anyone anymore. Well, at the end she also settled but it's OK. She made it clear she was settling (so did the guy), no hard feelings. The game was made to mostly force people to settle at the end, just like in real life.

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• Seong Minji and Kim Sumin

I'm putting these two together. They're the new contestants introduced into the show after episode 5 (?). They're both the living proof that you should never chase a man. He's going to reject OR (worse) settle for you and leave you once the guy he actually likes shows up. The two of them chase guys and got rejected in the end. One (Minji) was pursuing one guy very very hard and in the end she said that he didn't pick her probably because she came late into the show. He responded to this by saying (in front of everyone) that he would still choose another woman (the one he actually chased) even if she came earlier into the show. Pretty much everyone gasped when he said that.

Sumin chased another guy (Sihun) who got rejected by the woman he liked (Jia). The whole time, he kept saying to Sumin that he was thankful that she picked him to the luxurious hotel. You could actually see the difference in behavior of Sihun when he was with the girl he liked (Jia) and the girl he didn't care about (Sumin). With Jia, he was always smiling, telling her that he feels lucky to be with her, he was following her around (literally), kept complimenting her, was nervous, stuttering etc.

With Sumin? Sihun was comfortable, no sign of nervousness. He was happy to go to the luxury hotel, not to be spending time with her. He even said at the end, when he was about to pick the woman he liked in the last episode, "one gave me a strong impression (Jia) while the other is someone I feel grateful to and feel comfortable around". He chose Jia (knowing he would be rejected) over Sumin (knowing she would pick him) because he decided to go with his heart.

If at the start, a man is very comfortable with you it's not a good sign. A man who's 100% into you will be nervous because he'll be constantly afraid of messing things up with you and losing you. A guy who's comfortable doesn't care about the final outcome.

If he wanted to, he would.

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The men :

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• Oh Jin Taek

He's the definition of a fboy. Good looking man who dresses well and believes, therefore, that he is the prize. When he arrived on the show, he barely talked to any of the female contestants, was aloof and thought that him looking was enough to get votes. He ended up getting 0 votes and switched to pursuing Soyeon hard. Once he hooked her, he started pursuing another woman while Soyeon was distraught about it. He finally switched back to her when his option #2 backed out and admonished Soyeon, telling her she should chase him so he can feel wanted.

There's one sentence he said in the last episode, about what he got from this show, which stood out to me: "I learned to take the initiative." So he basically admitted that in his daily life, he's playing games so women chase his ass. Lol. I can't.

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• Kim Jinsuk

Aka "Who?". This guy was barely present throughout the whole show. He liked Jia at first but seeing the strong competition for her, he quickly backed out and spent the following episodes chilling in the background. He only popped up when one of the new female contestants chose him to go on a date and on that date, he was as interesting as paint drying. At the end, he settled for the only woman who showed interest in him. He's the typical unpicked low effort guy who settles when he's forced by the situation/society. Your average low effort dude.

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• Kim Hyun Joong

To me, he was the best looking male contestant and also had the best body. On top of that, he was the one male contestant that was seemingly HV. He liked Jia from the start and only pursued for the 8 episodes. Unlike some other male contestants, he wasn't always glued to her. He let her talk with other men and when it was his turn, he shared nice moments with her. I've noticed that he was also considerate to the other women - which is sadly something to point out.

In the end, he won Jia over and you could feel his happiness. I think one of things, "modern" women have forgotten is to let a man want to want you, want to pursue you. Too many women just want the label of 'girlfriend' so they rush things. But the best thing is the courtship, when a man tries his hardest to win you over and it's sad that many women nowadays have never been properly courted or don't even know that they should let a man court them (just look at Jiyeon thanking Sehoon for pursuing her hard and romancing her...).

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• Moon Sehoon

There's a lot of debates around this guy. Some view him as a creep and some view him as a "romantic" man. I'm team #creep. This guy first said that his type was Jia but then pursued Jiyeon. On the first vote, he didn't for Jiyeon though and then the next day told her that his previous vote didn't mean anything. I feel like he was trying some games here, giving mixed signals so Jiyeon would get desperate and chase him. He also invited Jiyeon and Jia on a date (he had to pick 2 women) and then proceeded to spend the entire date ignoring Jia and love bombing Jiyeon. It's just such a class PUA tactic. He probably did that because he thought that would boost Jiyeon's self esteem (because he ignored the highly sought after Jia) and she would fall for him.... Except she didn't. She paid him dust so he started chasing her so hard it was uncomfortable. Jiyeon, herself, said she was not interest in him but he wouldn't take no for an answer.

In the end, he forced her to go on a date in the luxury hotel with him and managed to win her over. Of course, the show frames it as a 'romantic' storyline but I just feel like Jiyeon settled since her option #2 wasn't checking her out. Anyway, this whole couple exists in the wild and I know a lot of women with men they're not attracted to but are dating because they felt like they had no other options and didn't want to be single.

Sehoon kind of admitted that he kept pursuing Jiyeon because she bruised his ego by rejecting him. So unlike Hyun Joong he didn't pursue a woman because he liked her but because he couldn't stand being rejected. Confirmed LVM.

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• Choi Sihun

Choi Sihun first said that Jiyeon and Sumin were his types but he only pursued Jia hard. I feel like many men are like Sihun. They have a pre-existing idea of their type but really, they're confused. To me, a man's real type is whoever he chases and would choose if he thought he could get her. So his real type is Jia.

He's another proof that if he wanted to, he would. It was very interesting to observe his behaviors with Jia vs his "types". It just shows you how men will act if they're 100% into you and when they're not. It's night and day. Again, if you have to wonder if a man is into you, he's not into you.

I do like him more than most of the other male contestants because he stayed true to his heart and didn't settle (even though he knew he was going to be rejected). Kudos to him for that because all the other men settled.

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• Cha Hyun Seung

I don't have much to say about HS. He's very similar to HJ. Just like him, he was single minded and just pursued whoever he liked the most (Jia). He did say a sentence to Jia that stood out to me "I'd rather be with you than waste time with others". I guess this is how men feel about women they're not into but are pursuing for the sake of pursuing someone.

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Now, I'm just going to speak about the commentators:

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• Super Junior's Kyuhyun

Kyuhyun is part of K-pop boyband named "Super Junior" and it's a group that full of LVM with various scandals (one beat up his gf, another has a dog who killed someone, one dated an underaged girl while being in his 30s, another creeped on a woman who's in her early 20s and a new celebrity while he's in his 30s and has been a celebrity for over a decade, some slutshamed and fatshamed female celebrities when those female celebrities dated 2 guys and just had big cheeks etc). Kyuhyun himself has had scandals where he slutshamed some girl group members and just is greasy looking.

So this certified LVM encouraged some female contestants into chasing men, said that he wanted to befriend Sehoon and just was the "LVM" gaze throughout this whole show. I only listened to him because to me, he represented how LVMs view dating situations.

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• Hong Jin Kyung

Hands down, the best commentator. She had a good grasp of the situations and dynamics at play. I liked when she called out Jin Taek's fboy ways or when she noticed that Sihun being grateful to Sumin for taking him to the hotel is a red flag.

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Finally, a commenter from the previous post wanted me to talk about sitting arrangements. Tbh, I don't think there's a specific strategy for sitting arrangements. I did notice that men gravitate towards the women that they like and another way it's considered "chasing" for a woman would be doing everything to sit next to a guy.

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So, for the people here who've finished this show, what's your take?