But sex work is work, amirite?

itsirrelevant · 2022-03-23T19:11:01+00:00

I had a man try to argue with me that it would be worse for him to have an only fans than it would for me to.

His background is in cooking/DJ/factories/small business food related companies full of alcoholics and addicts.

I work in healthcare. I also have a child.

His thought is that all his buddies would make fun of him and think he's gay, and that everyone would support me and think I'm cool liberated and subversive.

I cannot even with these men.

sewingmachinesavior · 2022-03-23T18:27:41+00:00

Dont want to date sex workers.

Consume so much porn they get ED.

Something doesn’t add up here. 🤬

yggiwtmiih · 2022-03-23T21:47:44+00:00

"sEx WoRk iS eMpoWeRiNg!!!!1!" - Men

"i CaN'T DaTe SoMeOnE wHo uSE tO Do p0Rn!!!!" -The same men

ButterfliesHurricane · 2022-03-23T18:39:23+00:00

Obviously one rule for them (it’s ok to fry your brain on porn, cam girl, buy sex in other forms), but not ok for women. Women are held to moral judgment while men have needs…. poor them 🙄.

DontAskTwice-A-Roni · 2022-03-23T19:46:23+00:00

Women are called irrational if we don’t want to date a man who watches porn. Men are called rational if they refuse to date women who do porn. Libfems support this bs. The hypocrisy is the feature not the bug.

pickadaisy · 2022-03-24T01:34:01+00:00

I’ll never forget how delusional men are, thinking that women in porn are enjoying it because they are “promiscuous”.

applestorm · 2022-03-23T18:09:08+00:00

For the female lurkers:

Sex work is not considered as work. No matter how much men and liberal feminists lie about this, sex work is a scarlet letter. Once you become a sex worker, you put in jeopardy your present, your future and even your kids' future. Even if life gets hard, don't go into sex work. And if you're already a sex worker, then plan your exit plan ASAP.

Likewise, don't share nudes and don't participate in sex tapes. It just takes your (ex) boyfriend/husband to post these videos/pictures online and your life is permanently ruined.

Society has not changed. Sex workers are still vilified. The only difference is that liberal media and men are actively lying to naive women so that they can get more degrading porn out of them and profit off of their exploitation and trauma.

millennialpink2000 · 2022-03-23T19:34:25+00:00

BUT IT'S SOOOO EMPOWERING, RIGHT???

as if

Kingkazola · 2022-03-23T19:09:15+00:00

Funny how all these redditors come out saying it's gross and he deserves to know. While they're simultaneously paying for onlyfans and watching porn.

A woman choosing to do sex work on her own is only a problem when it somehow inconveniences a man.

Platipus6 · 2022-03-23T23:28:49+00:00

"She didn't tell you, she's removing your agency and informed consent to the relationship"

"babe I didn't tell you about all the things I do which are your dealbreakers because I knew you wouldn't date me!"

These 👏mother 👏fuckers.

m00n5t0n3 · 2022-03-23T19:14:16+00:00

It's just a normal job! But you won't be able to work any other job or marry a good man if anyone finds out you did it!

sleeplessbeauty101 · 2022-03-23T22:06:20+00:00

He's told her every major event of his past?

Every time he pumped and dumped a woman? Pretended to be boyfriend material then bailed?

Every time he got off to something depraved?

They are all sex work is work until it doesn't suit them.

Now they are pulling the family and progeny card.

Make it make sense.

It's almost like porn is something people should be ashamed of.

He should share his search history.

AnniaT · 2022-03-23T20:31:34+00:00

Sex work is empowering and great for women, therefor he should support her and even convince her to do more porn since sex work is better than boring 9 to 5 job. /s

JulyParade · 2022-03-23T20:03:32+00:00

So the same men who share nudes would dump a woman that they "love" for having nudes. Got it. Three years and no ring? Maybe he's just looking for a way to get out of this relationship. Want to bet he's not CoMuNIcATInG with her about it because she doesn't know he watches porn? What other hypocrisy will we find if he has to be honest about these things?

shoesfromparis135 · 2022-03-23T21:37:10+00:00

Why are they so obsessed with the possibility of future children's friends finding the video?? Like what even are the odds of that happening and someone recognizing it as their mom's friend? Not to mention this kind of shit could happen with ANY explicit content that got leaked, which happens all the time bc men love to share private content without women's consent.

Unlikely-Marzipan · 2022-03-24T09:17:38+00:00

Sick of these double standards.

These men egg young women on telling them How empowering it is to do porn, yet they are the ones who are judging them the most harshly.

Carneliancat · 2022-03-23T18:36:22+00:00

Nothing to see here, just your typical LVM hypocrisy.

4E4ME · 2022-03-23T23:12:40+00:00

I don't think he would have been as conflicted if she'd brought it to his attention (although I 100% understand why she or any SW wouldn't want to, and I support that decision). He is conflicted because someone else recognized her and then stupidly/smugly forwarded the evidence. The fact that he is conflicted at all demonstrates that he's lost respect for her.

He needs to break up with her now, because 1000% as soon as he gets mad about something else he's going to throw this in her face. So why waste each other's time between now and the inevitable?

Free-Growth-9136 · 2022-03-23T21:05:29+00:00

So they beat their male parts into ED oblivion, yet shame the very people who they beat their male parts to.

So young lady no longer participates in that kind of work, yet he wants to "punish" her for her past by possibly ending the relationship.

He has the emotional intelligence of a rat's fart. Girl, run, run like hell, and never look back.

Noemie_Mathilde · 2022-03-24T10:56:03+00:00

The men crying about the "lack of honesty" in the comments 🙃

sexysepsis · 2022-03-23T18:20:04+00:00

Doing sex work in the past is a deal breaker, but saying you won’t date a man that consumes pornography is insanity. Lol.

Serious-Yellow8163 · 2022-03-23T18:57:22+00:00

How much do you all wanna bet that the comments would have been wildly different if the poster was a woman that wanted to leave a man that had visited sex workers more than three years ago? I will say it time and time again, sex work isn't work. We know why men want this kind of thinking to become the norm for young women- more victims that they can abuse however they want to, because they paid for ' the privilege'. I still can't figure out what women get out of pushing this though. Sex ' work' can't be put on your resume, it decreases your standing in any community now and forever and your mental and quite often physical health suffers for it. It's depressing that so many young girls glorify it.

Chemical39 · 2022-03-23T18:42:07+00:00

Was she actually actually a sex worker or an unknowing, unconsenting victim of a scrote’s secret cam though?

NotMyRealName814 · 2022-03-23T23:16:23+00:00

I had a nasty break up with an ex because he knew I hated strip clubs and he went to one with a friend one night while I was working a 12 hr shift. It would be been really hypocritical for me to break up if I had once worked in a strip club or as a stripper but I had not done that.

These pornsick bastards want to have their porn 24/7 but then turn around and disrespect women who have done that kind of thing. I feel sorry for the women getting caught up in these double standards but this should be a cautionary tale to not get caught up in selling your body no matter how good the money is. A sex worker is going to think she may be empowered by making so much money but at some point the bills become due and many times it just isn't the same as taking a mainstream job.

ImmortalSheep · 2022-03-24T11:31:37+00:00

Men are okay with consuming porn and supporting sex workers until those women are their mothers, sisters, wives or girlfriends.

chunktopia · 2022-03-24T05:03:05+00:00

Ugh no mention anywhere about her possibly being coerced into making porn or any empathy for her. The cognitive dissonance of these men supporting the porn industry is incredible

Sweetheartsorrow · 2022-03-23T18:21:05+00:00

While I agree that sex work is not work, I will never be able to understand the hypocrisy of men who are like I wOuLd NeVeR dAtE a SeX wOrKer but consume copious amounts of pornography. They want women they see as “pure and clean” to be in relationships with but are fine with watching gnarly, hardcore, degrading porn. Got it lol this goes back to how men both have standards and no standards at the same time.

barbiebaby233 · 2022-03-23T20:20:39+00:00

He’s going to get her fired.

omowahala · 2022-03-23T18:27:31+00:00

I love one of the comments. How can u as a man consume so much porn?

But the moment your gf does it? It's a deal breaker?

How is this not hypocrisy?

2022-03-24T04:43:43+00:00

LIBFEMS: I hate swerfs! The only reason sex work is dangerous is the stigma!

...And who creates the stigma? Not swerfs. Thank you.

Blaphrodite · 2022-03-24T05:43:30+00:00

Men are downright missing half a brain with the double talk. Pro porn anti pornstar dating bs.

They cry when they are declined or asked to wait for sex. They cry when other men have been with their woman. But cheer on the other men.

Hayze_Ablaze · 2022-03-24T01:44:07+00:00

Two of those comments resonate with me. It’s this messed up madonna/whore thing. They want to wank over porn stars and some even get really obsessed with particular women, but if they have a girlfriend with a past in sex work all hell breaks loose?! Hypocrisy much? Same guys who are proud they racked up a high “body count” before settling down.

I wonder if they feel so attached to transparency and honesty when it comes to their past (and present) with porn and those who in the past have fucked prostitutes? Maybe they really are as honest as that, but I don’t think they are.

spinsterchachkies · 2022-03-24T10:58:48+00:00

Hypocrites. Smh. My angel is the centerfold! What a fucking wh*re

Nifteroni-and-Cheese · 2022-03-24T14:28:12+00:00

Men: “Sex work is EmPoWeRiNg”

Also men: “dump her if she ever did sex work, imagine the ridicule you would face if anyone found out you were with a sex worker, she’s terrible for not telling you right away”

trettles · 2022-03-23T21:37:37+00:00

Why are they so obsessed with the possibility of future children's friends finding the video?? Like what even are the odds of that happening and someone recognizing it as their mom's friend? Not to mention this kind of shit could happen with ANY explicit content that got leaked, which happens all the time bc men love to share private content without women's consent.

2022-03-23T18:17:15+00:00

They’re giant hypocrites who beat off to porn on the regular but wouldn’t date a woman who has been in it.

Missustossaway · 2022-03-23T19:51:36+00:00

Madonna-whore complex is alive and well.

bellinibabie · 2022-03-23T20:57:39+00:00

Imagine the constant gaslighting a woman would face if she created a post about how she found out her partner bought porn in college. Male redditors become irate at the thought of porn not being their god given right to consume but don’t think of sex workers as people.

Sea_Lead1753 · 2022-03-24T02:52:58+00:00

If he's upset that she withheld this info, then she deserves the right to look through his search history and he better fess up to all the depraved shit he gets off to.

Truly the hallmark of an equal, healthy relationship🥴 ah, thanks porn for improving society! We are all so FREE now /s

Colour_riot · 2022-03-24T18:18:11+00:00

"She works in a very high profile position and it will harm her professionally if it comes out"

I fear for this poor woman. He's 100% going to use it against her as revenge in the future so long as she doesn't jump when he gives an order

Swiftie107 · 2022-03-24T12:17:26+00:00

I used to do porn and I regret it so much and I don’t disclose it when dating someone new the fetishize it no matter what guy you are in contact with. No need to make them think less of you when that isn’t the person you are anymore I got sick of defending myself so I stopped disclosing it I completely understand why she didn’t tell him

YakCDaddy · 2022-03-24T10:39:43+00:00

It might not even be her. Maybe she never mentioned it because she's not aware of it. He could be a grown up and ask her.

abby_ch238 · 2022-03-24T17:18:56+00:00

“Sex work is work but those in sex work are whores and they are to be used for sex only, not dating or anything else” -men

Thunderbird_Freya · 2022-03-23T19:48:33+00:00

If you don’t want to be with a former sex worker then fine, but women owe men zero explanation about what they did before the relationship. A woman has a right to live her life or leave her old life behind in private.

You don’t know why she did sex work, even if you do stay in your lane.

I believe deal breaks should be discussed before the relationship starts, but if you told the deal breaker and you find out the hard way that she hid a deal breaker then remove yourself. So many men hide their kids from Childfree women who don’t want to be around kids but harmless porn is such a bad thing.

As much as I want to support any woman’s career, sex work isn’t work just fap material and revenge porn.

2022-03-23T18:42:22+00:00

I feel scared for his girlfriend that he’s going to harm her career since he mentioned it. Same goes for her high class family.

If that was something I had done I would feel obligated to mention it to a partner, but I already know that you can’t easily find a high value partner if you open with that. You’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

Just a few of the real concerning problems: 1) at one time the GF was unfortunately in a position where she felt the need to do porn. We don’t know why or if she is traumatized from the experience. 2) one of the OP’s friends was watching this guy’s wife’s past exploitation which is just a drop in the water of all the porn he consumes, yet because he happened to recognize this one woman from a different context felt the need to “warn” her boyfriend, 3) commenters assume his future children and their schoolmates are inevitably going to be exposed to porn of their mom (how about concentrate on keeping porn away from kids) 4) they are unfortunately correct that the internet’s forever and whether the gf still consents to it or not, it’s gonna be out there.

Just sad all around.

GoGoCaterpillar · 2022-03-24T00:39:50+00:00

Lol the guy lying about "I'd be out, not because of the porn, but the lack of honesty." Yeah sure, bud. Bet he'd stay if she was lying about being filthy RICH. "Oh it stings, and we'll talk about it, but maybe if she buys me a little somethin' somethin' we can mend things ;)".

BooksandEarlGreyTea · 2022-03-24T20:06:12+00:00

Why am I suspicious his friend made a porn deep fake of the woman using her college photos?

Surely his friend would have seen photos of her during the 3 years they were dating and her uploading photos to social media.

2022-03-23T20:39:48+00:00

Even more reason to regulate porn out of existence. Women are having their past "empowering" choices used against them in work and relationships.

2022-03-23T20:40:16+00:00

Guaranteed if they break up he's going to send it to her employer

Advanced_Doctor2938 · 2022-03-23T21:54:45+00:00

The hypocricy at its prime. At least the porn industry has some form of structure and consent in place. While there are men sending unsolicited dick picks, for no reason whatsoever, to women who have absolutely no interest in looking at that stuff and never freaking asked for those pictures. Show me ONE thread where men are shaming one of their own for pulling this crap.

LaNaca8919 · 2022-03-23T22:50:50+00:00

Lol what if it's a look alike I watch lovelyti she's a YouTuber and she was talking about a lot of men asking her if she's this one porn star. I think a lot of men started watching her because they thought it was her.

2022-03-26T02:46:39+00:00

Sad thing is it's probably "revenge porn" and she doesn't even know it's out there

alpinepunch2021 · 2022-03-23T18:20:48+00:00

For once, I actually agree with a scrote's intuitions in an FDS post. Dating a woman who participates in sex work because of sex posi brainwashing (as opposed to trafficking or out of financial desperation) isn't really that different than dating a pornsick male. They both have the same mindset and values: objectifying women is okay.

Title	But sex work is work, amirite?
Author	applestorm
Upvotes	736
Comments	117
Date	March 23, 2022 6:03 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/tl4eus/but_sex_work_is_work_amirite/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/but-sex-work-is-work-amirite.1107899 https://theredarchive.com/post/1107899

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