The man I’ve been dating for a little while now regularly stays over at my place (on average once a week/fortnight). Typically we spend the majority of the following day together and sometimes he stays a second night in a row.

The very first time he slept over at mine he left his mobile phone, then he left a toothbrush in my ensuite a few weeks ago and more recently a t-shirt.

Each time I’ve noticed the items has sparked intense feelings of irritation. Also kind of like, the honeymoon is over so next week it will turn into stinky socks, takeaway dinners and dirty dishes in the sink... I don’t want to live with a man unless I’m engaged or married.

When I mentioned the toothbrush he laughed it off and joked that he “may or may not have left it behind on purpose”. His response seems extremely rude to me that he would assume he could make himself completely at home, in MY home. Maybe I’ve been single for too long and forgotten how to let anyone in?

I’m very protective of my space and who I invite/allow in it but am I being overprotective now?

If I talk to him now it might make him feel like I don’t want him here and I’m pushing him away, which I don’t want. I just want him to respect my space. Surely he could ask before leaving his stuff here, that wouldn’t bother me, it would be quite nice. I hadn’t thought of it before but I feel it would be too forward of me to actually invite him to leave things at my house so in a way he has taken the first step, just maybe not in the most tactful way.

Not sure whether this is bringing up some latent avoidant issues in me or what is the appropriate way to handle the situation so we both feel comfortable with boundaries etc still heading towards a positive place in getting to know eachother.

I prefer to behave in a way that enforces my standards without having to explain myself in lengthy discussions. What should I DO about this.

Hope this makes sense. Curious to hear FDS stance on this.