Surviving assaults

Skanktuary · 2021-10-21T16:32:30+00:00

Mine was a long time ago. 1997 I pressed charges. I had a rape kit. He was a serial r4pist who drugged and assaulted at least 27 women that summer. I spoke to the press even.

The grand jury didn't think there was enough evidence. He faced ZERO consequences.

It has effected me in so many different ways that I'll never truly know or understand the full scope. But I have PTSD that I deal with everyday. It's that incident along with countless manipulations, control plays, aggressions and microaggressions of men that has and continues to spin me out.

I don't think I've ever had a truly healthy relationship. I thought that because they didn't beat me or verbally brerate me, they were good partners. Sigh.

I'm in therapy. On meds. I work every single day to keep myself healthy and grow and heal myself emotionally, psychologically, mentally.

blueboobs- · 2021-10-21T14:45:09+00:00

I knew I wouldn’t get anywhere in the courts so I took other guerrilla justice means! 🤷🏼‍♀️ not everyone can do that but I wasn’t going to let shit slide.

WeezyVonFresca · 2021-10-21T13:26:10+00:00

I was too embarrassed to press charges, or mention certain things in the restraining order I got. Or too discuss it here. But even without that information, I was granted a lifetime restraining order based off other abuse and incidents police were called.

pinkgirly111 · 2021-10-21T15:28:29+00:00

i suffered in silence - this was the early 2000's and those boys were fucking cruel.

LittleWinn · 2021-10-21T19:53:28+00:00

I reported at age 10. Went through physical exam that documented internal scarring from repeated trauma. My grandmother wore a recording device the police provided, and pretended I had come up pregnant and to be asking my abuser for advice. (Family friend). He confessed the “baby” was his, and he had been having sex with me because he wanted me to be his wife. My grandmother and I both testified in court, multiple times, and he was convicted. Served 6 years, sex offender registry for life, and he’s dead now. PM if you have more personal questions I’m very open about my experience. I’m actually considering writing about it because it scares so many people.

huevos_and_whiskey · 2021-10-21T14:44:27+00:00

I tried to press charges one of the times I was raped, but I waited too long. There was no evidence. It might be difficult, but I’d advise going to the police or the hospital right away. I was really young and did everything you’re not supposed to, including going home and taking a shower right after because I felt dirty. From what I’ve read, even if you do have evidence collected, the chances of actually getting the perpetrator prosecuted are low.

As far as recovery, it changes you. Don’t focus on trying to go back to the person you were before it happened. It’s going to be more helpful to focus on alleviating symptoms. EMDR therapy can help with post traumatic symptoms. Talking with other survivors helps, too.

Jandi18 · 2021-10-21T22:46:26+00:00

My ex best friend committed a sexual offence against me and my family. I was in so much pain and wanted to give up but I decided to report it to the police because I thought what if no one else does? Lot's of people don't report perverts and rapists and I understand why but I would never forgive myself for letting him get away with it. I was feeling bad about reporting him but the other day I was listening to some music on the radio and a news report came on, recently a man had been caught hiding a camera in bathrooms and he had filmed over 900 women. I knew then that I did the right thing reporting my friend, he needs to be stopped before he turns out like that. I'm still terrified going to court but that's what keeps me going, if not for me it's for my family and for anyone else who could be hurt.

You can reach out to victim support, the police should give you a number to call for advice and support. They can help with your mental health and going to court. I haven't called them yet but I'm going to.

As for my mental health I was at a very low point but I just thought that it can't hurt to try so I got some medication and I'm going to therapy. I'm still not the best but therapy has been really good, I've been able to get everything off my chest and understand all the things I'm feeling.

I really hope it works out for you, stay strong xx

ussr_ftw · 2021-10-22T04:20:18+00:00

Therapy and support groups. It is so healing to be with a group of other women who understand and have gone through what you did, I can't recommend finding a sexual abuse survivor group enough.

On a more dismal note, only one of the women in my group pressed charges and went through the system. She didn't even make it to the courtroom before the case got dropped.

nitrozade222 · 2021-10-23T16:45:22+00:00

https://www.victimfocus.org.uk/free-caring-for-yourself-after-sexual-violence

Very useful link.

Title	Surviving assaults
Author	shawjaru
Upvotes	138
Comments	21
Date	October 21, 2021 7:10 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/qcm1t5/surviving_assaults/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/surviving-assaults.1082679 https://theredarchive.com/post/1082679

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