The Fuck Off Fund

cosmicabstract · 2020-12-23T22:32:01+00:00

this is so good. So, so, so good. everyone needs to read this.

I learned this the hard way, twice.

the first was upon having an abusive ex who I was financially dependent on. he was a typical narcissistic gaslighter that tried to ruin my career. no point in explaining, we all know the type.

eventually, I got out of that relationship and focused on going back into my career full force. I needed a job ASAP and secured one quickly. unfortunately, it was a job that didn’t treat me as well as they should. the company culture / leadership didn’t line up with my values but the pay and benefits were good. i was unhappy at about ~6 months in due to a sexist manager and culture of complacency.

I was (basically complaining) talking to one of my mentors about this situation. He is one of the most recognized names in our field, and he didn’t want to even hear it. it seemed like a waste of time for him to have this conversation with me, since there was nothing I could fix at this company and it would be best to leave ASAP. no point talking about it if it had gotten that bad. all he would tell me is “leave.” I agreed with him. obviously, financially, I couldn’t at that time. he said I was still brainwashed by them, and I said it was due to finances. 🙃

it was that day I realized the true value of a fuck-off fund and I’ve had one ever since. It’s so nice to have a word for it now, lol!

Shecommand · 2020-12-24T00:11:01+00:00

I didn’t realize I had a fuck off fund until I was forced twice to pull myself out of bad marriages. I was taught to never depend on a man. Wasn’t taught to not be a builder Barb . Each time I found a way to build myself back up and move forward even when I was scared of the consequences. Always always focus on your long term goals even if you can’t see the path for the smoke and mirrors. Self perseverance builds resilience. YOU CAN DO this!! 💕

asoww · 2020-12-23T23:30:28+00:00

Great article. I have to start my Fuck Off fund next year.

MagnfiqueMaleficent · 2020-12-24T05:39:04+00:00

Also, let the men trying to date you know that you have a very strong support network made up of friends and family members and that even without one thin dime in the form of a Fuck Off Fund to your name, you can and will walk out and go live with people who actually love you and want the best for you. They’d love to have you live with them. Drop that into conversation here and there just remind them. Even if it’s a lie, make them aware that you won’t be “trapped.” We aren’t animals. 🌈

wrice05 · 2020-12-24T03:11:26+00:00

That was POWERFUL. Thank you for sharing that! Every FDSer should read. Rather, every woman should read!

Zayelle · 2020-12-24T00:43:08+00:00

Love this !

GretaTheBeeotch · 2020-12-24T04:50:24+00:00

That is amazing & SO FUCKING IMPORTANT FOR WOMEN TO HEAR.

Thank you for posting.

Seraphinx · 2020-12-24T12:36:34+00:00

My mam is in her 60's and despite being happily married for 40+ years she has always advocated for having 'running away money'.

LateShop · 2020-12-24T17:29:40+00:00

Also called Fuck You money.

I have 6 months of expenses saved. I got another job, starts in 3 weeks and last Friday, I very professionally told my asshole manager fuck you and quit with no notice. Trust me, he deserved it.

It's really nice having that comfort, that even if for some rare reason the new position falls through, I have enough means to find another job for awhile.

I suggest to anyone, making this a priority. It's the only way we can take our power back, not just as women, but as employees. Employers will stop treating employees like shit if they know we can leave at any time when we feel mistreated.

Title	The Fuck Off Fund
Author	janetheautomaton
Upvotes	155
Comments	15
Date	December 23, 2020 9:15 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/kj1hit/the_fuck_off_fund/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/the-fuck-off-fund.750523 https://theredarchive.com/post/750523

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