This post makes me so sad and angry

gutsandgorey · 2021-03-13T16:46:53+00:00

I've been going through this recently. I want to dress more feminine and interesting but then I'm worried men will stare at my body and I want to hide it. I wish I could live in an all female country lol.

throw-meawaytoheaven · 2021-03-13T17:21:18+00:00

Similar to the other commenters, when I was young, I literally wore whatever I wanted, and did not have the faintest idea or thought whatsoever about what men might think or that they might sexualise me. I cared a bit about other girls judging, but never boys.

This sounds dumb, but it wasn't until I was 17 I realised I had a bum. I did not consider my bum. I did not check how my bum looked. I had never considered or looked at my butt. Then a guy who manipulated me said I had a nice bum once, and I was a bit more aware of my body then. Still wore whatever without caring. Then when I was 18/19 with my ex, he told me numerous times I had a nice bum, and I realised everything shitty about porn, and men in the space of about a year.

Consequently I have to wear a shirt / hoody / coat to cover my bum when I go out.

Summer is coming and I'm like what the hell do I wear because I'm so uncomfortable with a guy looking at me regardless of his thoughts.

Like what do you ladies do? When you want to dress nicely or dress for the season, but don't want to be looked at and oogled by men?

jupiter_sunstone · 2021-03-13T16:34:15+00:00

I feel that. I used to dress wild as a teen/young adult, but got into few nasty encounters (nothing major but still scarring) and switched more and more of my wardrobe to mens clothing. I remember even wearing bandana over my face for some time.

sewingmachinesavior · 2021-03-13T16:18:22+00:00

As a young teen I always had a rule for myself to cover everything I didn’t want touched. I used to wear very revealing clothing. But I would dress down for 1:1 vs going out in a group of friends. I wish I’d had a better idea of boundaries way back then, but this self imposed rule plus not drinking with men I was not in a relationship with kept me from a lot of bad situations.

But it was still little 18yo me POLICING MYSELF bc men are dangerous.

Gambit12345 · 2021-03-13T22:34:59+00:00

I was always cognizant of my clothing. When I was 8 my mom sent me to fetch something from the car. It was summer and I wore shorts. When I came in she told me to be careful when bending over because men are perverts. In my teens my mom really hammered the “men are perverts” in my brain, I couldn’t even wear a skirt. Now that I’m older, I think it’s a damned if you do or don’t. Women in burkas still get harassed. If I choose to dress nice I accept I may get more stares than usual. It’s a trade off for feeling stylish, which makes me feel confident. I don’t look good for men, so I do my best to ignore them, or reserve cuter/revealing outfits based on the occasion

Nice_Pass2393 · 2021-03-13T21:50:44+00:00

I always wondered why stores like forever 21 make cute sexy clothes when there are very few safe places to wear them in public. I guess they expect us to dole out money just to pose for the gram and make social media shareholders even more rich. Oh yeah and pick tock of course

Nice_Pass2393 · 2021-03-13T21:48:27+00:00

I guess I was forced to submit because I no longer wear makeup, jewelry or nice clothing on a daily basis. In the summer I wear loose basketball shorts or adidas shorts with a baggy tshirt when I have to go on basic errands and even to the beach, and I still get harrassed or disrespected sometimes but much less than when I wear tight shorts. Tight shorts bring the most harassment even more so than skirts. Only time I dress up reallly is to see a guy and I hate that it feels like I'm catering to them but it is one time where I know I won't be bothered because I have a chaperone. Sometimes I wear nice clothes and makeup to the boardwalk at night but only during the offseason weekdays when there aren't as many drunk creepy tourists

jupiter_sunstone · 2021-03-14T20:53:06+00:00

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