What are the possibility that he’s going to settle down?

whiskey_and_oreos · 2022-03-02T19:11:15+00:00

Zero. He's a parade of red flags. You already know this if you're asking the question.

ETA that's a lot to know about someone's history and very little about him as a person. It feels like him giving you his socials and telling you about his relationship history was meant to give you a false sense of intimacy. Have you even met in person? Are his career goals for the foreseeable future to continue moving around every few months? It's selfish of him to know that's his plan but then give you all this background info because these are conflicting actions. A two month fling while he's in town doesn't need that level of detail and it's unreasonable for him to expect that a two month stint is enough to either (1) commit to following him around and never put down roots or (2) enter a long distance relationship and trust he's faithful.

And he's 28? Sounds like he's on track to be one of those middle aged men who is still "undecided" on kids and marriage like they have a choice.

In all, you've said a lot about him and nothing about how he fits into your plans for your near future.

FullTimeOrNoTime · 2022-03-02T19:16:07+00:00

The 11 relationships would not be what concerns me about his propensity to settle down. His choice of career speaks to a man with no intention of putting down roots at this point in his life. Nothing wrong with that, especially at 28, but if you're looking for serious and long term, he probably isn't it right now.

Also, if he was in a relationship for 2 years a few months ago, why is he already dating again? How did that end? How do you know he doesn't have feelings for her? 11 relationships doesn't matter, but the character of his serious ones and how they ended does.

yungkaleidoscope · 2022-03-02T19:11:23+00:00

When it comes to military/ government guys that travel a lot, they tend to put their career and travel first. In my experience, they’ll get married but with the expectation that their wife will follow them from assignment to assignment. It comes down to what you see your future like. Are you okay with leaving your friends/family/ home behind to follow a man around the world? It is an enriching experience and it can be a lot of fun. On the other hand, if you’re looking to buy a house and put down some roots, then it isn’t a relationship you want to pursue.

dating-adventures · 2022-03-02T19:32:51+00:00

11 relationships at 28? 🚩

warinmymind94 · 2022-03-02T19:43:09+00:00

Here's what I know.

The military thing is his career and his prime commitment right now, and be has to move around for it. This would make it harder to settle down even if he wanted to- you would have to uproot yourself to follow him around add all the stress of moving and finding a new job along with that.

Military men also have incentives to get married and have kids more pay and benefits - which is why so many of them get married and start families so fast hence the term "quick to settle down". Imagine having to uproot with kids.

Imagine him being stuck at work or being gone a few months at a time. This wouldn't be easy for anyone. I was talking to the woman who made my coffee yesterday and she said she was having a bad day and almost started crying saying her husband is military and he just left for his duties for a year, she's alone with her kids and this is their 4th time moving already. That's really hard on her enough as it is, plus she's basically a single mom while he's gone, and trust me that's really really hard on the kids who don't have dad at home and have to uproot any time they start making friends plus getting comfy in new schools.

I wonder about his most recent breakup, why after it ended after 2 years.... 2 years is a lot of time to get to know someone and I think around that mark is when they should have been getting engaged. If you keep talking to him let him talk about it, dont stop him, see if he gives any clues about why that relationship ended. When he talks, you could learn a lot of red flags about what happened.

Weird that he already gave you his social media, even though he's secretive about it. That doesn't make sense. He's giving something secret out to a woman (you) he just met online? Again it's good you took it because it's an easy way to scroll through and spot red flags. Interesting that you can see all his girlfriends there.

Does his social media have any whiny posts about being single or heartbroken or bashing "de evil womens" (him ranting about women, sharing pics or quotes saying things like women are gold diggers, etc)?

If possible see if you can find any of his more recent exes profiles - and see if they have anything posted you can see. Look for posts they wrote or shared suggesting he was a bad bf, cheated, or just low effort (happy Valentines day to him even though he didn't even say it or do anything for me / happy birthday to this man even though he's a pain in my ass and whines whenever I'm doing my hobby! / thanks to my bf for my wonderful birthday! We went to dollar tree and he let me pick out whatever I wanted as my gift how quirky and fun tee hee) easy way of vetting!

There's a site called Judy records where you can see legal records for free Definitely look him up to be safe.

Title	What are the possibility that he’s going to settle down?
Author	Junior-Lion7893
Upvotes	12
Comments	13
Date	March 2, 2022 7:06 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/t57jj2/what_are_the_possibility_that_hes_going_to_settle/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-are-the-possibility-that-hes-going-to-settle.1104459 https://theredarchive.com/post/1104459

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