When he says he needs at least ten years to think if I’m “the one” for him. 😂🤡

bookworm1896 · 2021-09-06T08:38:21+00:00

Oh god, that reminds me of a co-worker of mine. He had a really nice and beautiful girlfriend since college (he was 38) and she wanted to have kids. During lunch break he told us about it and directly told us that he didn't love her 'enough to have kids or get married'. We were shocked and told him that he had to tell her or break up with her, because he could not let her believe that they had a future together. In the end he had a talk with her and told her: 'I want to have kids some day, but I don't want to have kids with you.' He was quite upset that she broke up with him and couldn't grasp why she kicked him out of their flat. In his opinion he was just 'honest' and she 'overreacted'.

Just imagine your boyfriend of 15 years (this already sounds weird) telling you this! And how shocked he was about her reaction and our reaction.

BasieSkanks · 2021-09-06T08:30:15+00:00

He sounds like one of those men who want to play the field in their 20s and 30s, thinking that he will be able to bag a beautiful women when he’s in his 40s and 50s. These men will get to their middle age alone and they will remain alone because younger women won’t be interested in them. He’s playing himself.

Deanna_tx · 2021-09-06T09:45:46+00:00

Thats scary. I know a woman that was with a man for 15 years, no ring. They broke up, and he married another woman after only 2 years of dating her. Imagine spending ten years with someone, investing your best years with them, and at any given point in time, they can just walk away free and clear like nothing ever happened.

LWF3957 · 2021-09-06T11:03:48+00:00

Also, doesn't this just show exactly how dumb he is? Like if he needs 10 years to figure out if his preference is for or against this one person, I'm sorry, you must be pretty dumb. You should be able to figure that out within a few months, a year tops. Usually people will know much sooner if they're with someone they want to be with for the rest of their lives.

If you're not capable of that self reflection and self evaluation process on a shorter time frame than ten years you are either 1. a toddler and need to grow a brain still or 2. so immature and dumb you're not worth spending time with.

shedipity · 2021-09-06T10:50:51+00:00

so these are the guys that end up 40+ and flirt with young ladies because they didn’t get one when they were their age, huh.

GigaKarenEnergy · 2021-09-06T08:31:47+00:00

Lol he’s so dumb if he didn’t think any woman would run at “10 years”. It’s scary because a lot of them want a decade to decide but lie about it. Also this is the type to keep looking while in a relationship or else it wouldn’t make sense for him to drag a 10 year relationship

PinkBlair99 · 2021-09-06T12:50:59+00:00

Sheesh. Run.

One of the red flags that I chose to overlook from my LVX, or even to view as a positive because I thought it was so unconventional and honest or whatever (LOL), was when he told me, very very early on, that he thought people should only stay together for 10 years at a time, because that was the natural run of relationships, and that, at best, they should only have a 10 year contract and then consider whether to renew it at the end of the ten years.

He left me after eight years. When I was 37.

quasarbar · 2021-09-06T13:27:14+00:00

During those ten years he'd expect you to move in with no commitment and no possibility of alimony or life insurance, so that he can have a live-in housekeeper and on-demand sex. Oh, and you have to pay half the bills, too.

Cat_With_The_Fur · 2021-09-06T12:42:20+00:00

This is code for, I’m going to spend 10 years trying to find someone hotter and then just marry whoever I’m with at the end of that time.

palczo · 2021-09-06T10:04:28+00:00

🤣 but also 🤢.

SherbertRemarkable50 · 2021-09-06T10:31:23+00:00

I'm glad that you didn't waste too much time on him. He obviously will never value anyone to the extent that he values the ability to have options. In my experience, scrotes like that always have a wandering eye and have flirtatious relationships with all of the attractive women in their lives. They keep their options open to the detriment of every committed relationship that they'll ever have

galian84 · 2021-09-06T13:34:50+00:00

Waiting 10 years means they won’t marry you until push comes to shove and they don’t have any other options left. BUT guarantee he will marry his “dream girl” after 6 months.

I had an ex that strung me along for 7 years and was in his 50s, and STILL “didn’t know” when he would be ready. Then proceeded to tell me that “men only settle down when they feel like they’re out of options….or when they’re really in love” (he only said the second part when he saw me getting upset).

Happy for you that you decided to stop seeing him. Men like this will be happy to string you along commitment-free and explore other options, and only marry when they’re left with no other choice.

Platipus6 · 2021-09-06T11:09:52+00:00

There are thousands of these delusional middle aged men on dating apps who want kids someday and also want hookups. Every age range is swiping left on their crusty, ill prepared, choosing beggar, gonna-get-neither, die alone asses.

Technusgirl · 2021-09-06T09:18:56+00:00

Sounds like he's not interested in anything serious, move along before he continues to waste your time.

plutoniumwhisky · 2021-09-06T08:33:44+00:00

10 years...Good God. I’m blown away.

08__80 · 2021-09-06T10:45:59+00:00

Does he think he's immortal or something? Say you're both 20, he waits until he is 30, decides you ain't it, taps out. The next lady he dates from 30-40, taps out, the next lady 40-50 taps out, the fourth lady 50-60... Wow! She's the one! 4th one's the charm. Okay they get married, have kids. They're both 60... Now what??? Wait for retirement (only a few years away!) buy an RV and tour the country?

I know I'm just joking about an extreme scenario here but if you are so stupid that it takes you 10 years to figure out she ain't it, you shouldn't ever be married. What does marriage even mean to you if you're willing to spend 10 years with someone who ain't it?

lostmillenia · 2021-09-06T14:19:30+00:00

I bet he's a guy who isn't able to even make simple decisions.

electroloop · 2021-09-06T15:08:24+00:00

Bullet dodged! I was in a relationship like this pre-FDS. He wasted my time for about 7 years. We were engaged for about 4 of them. I was never good enough to “marry”, but I was good enough to be a therapist, bangmaid, and mommy figure.

Honestly it’s a blessing in disguise that I didn’t end up marrying him anyways. I would have been miserable to the ninth degree. Obviously I don’t stay in touch anymore but I’m pretty sure he’s desperately looking to trap another girl into a similar scenario since he’s in his 30s now and knows he’s absolutely a NVM.

01krazykat · 2021-09-06T13:01:12+00:00

Lol and then he'll be married next year. Any time a man says something like that it just means he doesn't want to marry you. Either way, he's garbage. The audacity of him to say that while prepaying your future.

clithoodwink · 2021-09-06T14:39:16+00:00

Imagine wasting 1 year of your life with an indecisive baby loser, let alone 10. He’s delusional.

manalitta88 · 2021-09-06T18:23:05+00:00

I congratulate you for playing along, offering no resistance to see what comes out of him...unfortunately I learned this way too late. but for all the ladies out there going on dates, do the same, be a good listener and play along, they will tell you everything you need to know to make a decision that is in YOUR BEST INTEREST.

liberty_5-30000 · 2021-09-06T20:20:46+00:00

So proud of you !!! Most women wouldn’t ask and in 7 yrs would realize they were being used. Then 4 mos later he would marry someone else

Yay!!!!

xfelugirlx · 2021-09-06T14:58:00+00:00

Girl.. these men🤡 really think we have 10 years only to waste in a lvm? I only know a history of this type and it’s not even mine (thanks god) a relationship of eight years and he didn’t asked her to marry him not even once, at the other hand they broke up and he blame her for a lot of things with all his friends. And this is the funny part not even 2 months laters he is in a serious relationship with other girl even moved out and all, i saw this girl and tried to be great and all but i have this in my mind like she knew? If she doesn’t know well somebody help her ☠️ and if she knew, for sure she is a hardcore pickme (she is tho) but at the end of the day she is a woman and don’t deserve any of this bullshit if it continues

christmasforoutlaws · 2021-09-06T18:01:41+00:00

I heard this exact thing from my baby daddy once 🙄 Ten years, my ass.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-09-06T17:16:10+00:00

Good. What a creep!

Title	When he says he needs at least ten years to think if I’m “the one” for him. 😂🤡
Author	Junior-Lion7893
Upvotes	1595
Comments	106
Date	September 6, 2021 8:12 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/piv7kd/when_he_says_he_needs_at_least_ten_years_to_think/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/when-he-says-he-needs-at-least-ten-years-to-think.1067323 https://theredarchive.com/post/1067323

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