I found that as I was on OLD / assessing potential friends of friends that it helped me so much to have a written list of my own standards. I made a dealbreakers section and a separate list of preferences that are non dealbreakers. When thinking of dating a guy reference your list and see if he meets your standards, if not then why are you wasting your energy by even considering him?
Requirements (dealbreakers if he doesn't match up):
Same level of education as me or better
No kids
Has his own apartment/house (no living with parents, or couch surfers, for roommates i do not accept situation where its just him and only one roomate and she is female.)
Has his own reliable means of transportation
Stable job with an income similar or better than mine
No drug use/no pot use/no smoking
Ocassional drinking is okay
Similar/same political ideology as me
Similar/better than my level of cooking. I want someone that can actually make a real meal. Simply grilling or heating up frozen pre-made items is not real cooking.
Takes care of himself (good hygiene, groomed hair/beard, sense of style, workouts enough etc)
Likes going out, traveling, exploring and willing to have fun trips. I hate sitting at home.
Sense of responsibility and makes initiative. Likes to have things planned out and stays on top of things like I do. Financially stable and manages his money/ bills not a cheapskate.
No "female friends"/still talking to an ex.
Cleans up after himself, keeps his home clean.
Not selfish in bed, no porn No complaining/commentary on my shopping, skincare etc. If I'm paying for it he isn't allowed to have an opinion. I won't hide Amazon packages.
Obviously no schrodinger douchebag, no racism, no homophobia etc.
No balding / bald men. Im not Attracted to it. Ive been waxing, shaving, going to salons for my own hair and doing all this maintenence so if he wants me he can get treatment for the balding.
PREFERNCES and things id consider:
I would like someone that has a similar diet to myself
Id love to have someone that enjoys the same type of music I do, so they can be a concert buddy
If hes a pet person (im not) its okay as long as he takes care of the animals. I won't be cleaning litter boxes or bathing his dogs. The dog must be a trained and well behaved. He is responsible for any pet messes or damaged items.
I would consider a blue collar man provided that his job is stable and he is also stable.
He can be religious but in a sense he doesn't pressure me/lecture me
Would also like someone that enjoys the warm/hot weather. I hate cold and the snow and will not be willing to live in the northeast USA.
I prefer that he doesn't play any video games or watch any anime. I think if its done ocassionally or maybe he has a younger relative and they play together thats okay. I really prefer not having it in the house at all.
If hes not willing to be cooking or doesn't want to be cleaning up then he needs to have a maid come or be paying for takeout. I would consider this if hes actually consistent with paying for a maid or takeout.
I'm hesitant of men that are always doing "favors" for coworkers, family, friends, etc. Can he afford the favors, does the person actually reciprocate, as well as is the favor in his priority list? I don't want someone who puts off important stuff to go do favors.
Very Hesitant of men that work for themselves/freelancers. I would only consider someone like this if they've been doing it for a while, have stable income, and are operating on a professional level. Does he have his own company, does he have an LLC, is he reputable and successful? and does he have a backup plan?
Would like someone that likes the house temp around where I like the house temp. I refuse to be shivering or sweating a lot to accommodate him.
Ideally I'd like us to have parents that are far enough away from where we live. My family is far enough that is a long drive. I wouldn't want a MIL that's nearby and always popping in or meddling.
I hate hosting people at my house. I don't want a guest room- ill use it as an office. I don't want him offering to let people come stay at the house while they are visiting. If we hangout with friends, I want to go out not have them over. If his friends are in town, he should be recommending hotels I am not a bed and breakfast. Something id consider on occasion and on the sense he does the hosting and they stay less than 1 week.
TAKEAWAY: When making my list the common theme is that I want someone similar to myself. Im a pretty good cook, I take good care of myself physically and keep my metal health in check. I want someone that's on my level or better. Couples that have more similaties rather than dissimilarities have higher amounts of satisfaction. Money is also hugely important in relationships so you really need to be on an understanding and the best way to do this is already be secure yourself and find someone with the same level of education and income as yourself or better!
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