Whenever I'm feeling down about a broken friendship or someone not treating me the way I should be treated, I have a little talk with myself. I remind myself that yes, I am enough, and no, I will not sacrifice my own happiness or stability for someone else's. Choose yourself every time.

aurelia_86 · 2021-12-22T01:52:16+00:00

The relationship that you have with yourself is the one relationship that you're always guaranteed to have. Gotta tend it accordingly.

I wanted to say - in the short term, it hurts to let a bad friendship go, but in the longer term it pays off because you're making space to let healthy people into your life and to put your energy into those friendships.

Alpha_uterus · 2021-12-22T11:20:42+00:00

I recently broke up with my partner of four years because I finally had the realisation I needed to choose myself.

I always thought he was a HVM until I had this awakening where I realized that even though he is the bare minimum of 'not a shitbag', and says all the right things, his actions never showed he was choosing me.

Every year, He went away to visit family about six hours away, for nearly a month, over Christmas and New year's, and never invited me or offered to spend any of that time with me even after I explained how hard I find those times of year due to my own family issues.

Among other things, Two years ago My grandad died on Christmas day and I was the only.one with him, my now ex partner never once offered to come back to be with me for support.

Ive had enough. I shouldn't have to ask for the bare minimum of support. I choose me.

katiekat0214 · 2021-12-22T13:55:36+00:00

Such a good reminder. I was thinking about the non-profit job I just quit, where the hard, honest physical work was fantastic, even slightly too hard for me, causing me to be really, really sore, but I was making SUCH gains in muscle, endurance, stamina, etc. I think if I could have stuck with it, I would have possibly lost a lot of weight, maybe even healed from t2 diabetes. I could have seen easily losing 25 lbs over the next year of the contract.

To my face there, for the nearly three months I worked there, everyone was kind and polite. Then, all of a sudden out of nowhere, I was written up for a bunch of really petty, small, low-level things that should have been at most a one-minute pull-aside convo, or just a question. The pettiest thing I got written up for? Making a suggestion for how to improve the floors of the warehouse. I was told, verbatim, to stay in my lane. And I quit; clearly someone was insecure, jealous/envious, and was looking to wrong-foot me. They clearly wanted quiet, compliant drones, not people who lead, question, innovate.

I was thinking, did I miss anything? Were there signs there that I should have seen? Then I thought no, I'm perfectly capable of reading people. I know I was on the level, just there to work, do my best, and help. It was just an insecure workplace, and someone there, or some people, were extremely insecure and passive-aggressive. It helps not *having* to work, sure, but choosing my sanity over going day in and day out to a place where I would have had to watch every single thing I said and did? Nah. Not for a warehouse job, a one-year gig, that paid $16k a year, just so I could have spending money and do some community service.

No Harrison Bergeron for me, thanks very much. I am hyper-competent, highly skilled and qualified, have lots of talents, pick up on new tasks quickly, and get things done efficiently. I'm also a leader, and people follow me naturally, partly from 26 years in the classroom. I've been a department chair a couple of times, leading my entire English department. And I'm an INTJ; we're efficiency experts. They don't like that, or it makes them feel insecure? Tough. But I don't need that energy in my life, and I choose my peace, my sanity.

space_cataz__ · 2021-12-22T06:13:24+00:00

Needed that today, thank you :)

wondertarget · 2021-12-22T13:02:54+00:00

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Bekinditsfree · 2021-12-24T02:31:07+00:00

Yayyy!!

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