I noticed that a lot of people date with no intention at all. People will get into casual relationships, sleep around, have "fun", and avoid commitment like the plague.

People seem to think that there is no harm is "sowing your wild oats" or having a "hoe phase" throughout uni and their early 20s, then "settling" down in their late 20s/30s. Well this is how you get baggage. This is how you end up desensitizing yourself to people's feelings, objectifying others, and hardening your heart and having no empathy. This is how you end getting your heart broken a million times, develop commitment/trust issues, get hurt time and time again, and build trauma over time. This is how you end up having to get an abortion, or having baby mamas/baby daddies, or getting STDs.

And then there's the other side to this. People who will date and commit to anybody, just so that they can have access to regular sex and companionship in the time being. People who will just "go with the flow". People often say they have to move in together in order to test the waters for marriage, but they end up entangling their finances and lives together, so it becomes too difficult to get out of that test marriage even if you wanted to. Then 10 years pass and your partner and friends and family have been nagging about how you two aren't married yet. Splitting up and losing someone who pays for half your bills and losing the nice apartment/house looks unappealing so you both decide to get married just because.

If you were at a job interview and you asked if the position was full-time and permanent, and they replied: no we're just going with the flow! Would you accept that position? Would you keep a job that constantly promises you that they'll make you permanent, but never actually give you a permanent work contract? Would you spend your 20s fucking around, taking odd jobs here and there, starting and stopping random degrees, and having no career goals? Absolutely not! So why do so many people advocate for having a "chill" attitude towards dating? Why are people scared of relationship commitment, but they'll willingly spend tens or even hundreds of thousands on a university degree?

All that is to say, it's so important to date with intention from Day 1. I honestly think that high schoolers shouldn't even be dating or having sex, they're just too immature to deal with this (obviously there are exceptions, but I stand by this for the most part) and they should just focus on having a fun social life and their studies. Dating in uni seems to be a bit more promising because I noticed that a lot of the happy couples I know met in uni and got married shortly after they graduated. The good men that I met in uni who were serious about getting married, dated with intention and they treat their girlfriends/current wives with a lot of respect and love. It seems to me that a lot of fuckboys in uni are still fuckboys even years after they graduated and have a career. They claim that they're scarred by their first high school girlfriend who broke their hearts 8 years ago, which is why they have commitment issues (lol......go to therapy and stop traumatizing more women).

The choices you make as a teenager and as a young adult will have an impact on your adult life. The habits you form as a teenager/young adult will stay with you as an adult. Life is too short to be spent fucking around and collecting baggage and getting traumatized again and again. Be wise and vigilant. This is why it's so important to date intentionally at any age. Your time is precious. Your heart is precious. Your body is precious. You really shouldn't just give your time, heart and body around to just anybody, and collect trauma over time.