Are caring dads and, in general, caring men attractive for women? If not, what's going on?

RockmanXX · 2021-01-28T15:17:35+00:00

First off, the "Male Provider" role isn't natural at all, its a fantasy created by Conservatives who view human relationships through the narrow prism of the Modern Nuclear Family, which isn't natural to begin with. Most Tribal Societies are polygamous where males partake in alloparenting. Alloparenting requires Men to be caring towards children but those are not necessarily their biological kids, we can't draw a parallel between parenting&sexual attraction because Men don't succeed in mating by being good Fathers. ONLY 20% of Men from the prehistory have successfully passed their genes as opposed to 80% of Women from prehistory. Dynamics of Reproduction doesn't have an Egalitarian Origin.

Men’s specialization as hunters is generally possible only with the nutritional assurance provided by women’s more consistent foraging of plants, insects, and other small animals.

LOL what? Men can easily gather some berries or shrubs to keep themselves fed before the next hunt, why do they need women to do that? More importantly, the Gender Ratio is grossly skewed in Hunter-Gatherer Societies with more women and its still skewed in Modern Societies. Men make up only 49% of human population and die early.

Male mountain gorillas are also very tolerant of infants and juveniles, and interact with them, even though they do not seem to differentiate their own young from those of other males. This caring behavior may enhance the males’ attractiveness to females:

lol Stop beating around the bush, Lee. ONLY Alpha Gorillas mate, Alphas are the strongest Gorillas around. The one thing that separates Humans from these Apes is that we've created an artificial social Order where most human males could reproduce by being "Providers" to financially dependent Women, however due to a combination of Birth Control&Women's Economic Independence. We have obliterated that system, we're going back to our nature, women do not require a "Male Provider" because they can earn money for themselves.

What Feminists refer to as "Patriarchy" is the system where men destroyed their bodies for their dependent wives, since Feminists don't see men as humans, they only see the "dependent wives" aspect of it and consider it as a system made to "oppress" Women.

surge in caring fatherhood

Lee, Fatherhood is CARING by default, if you don't see it that way, then you are a Feminist who doesn't appreciate Fatherhood as it is. Whatever good a Father does for his child is "Caring", i hate this idea promoted by Feminists that Fathers aren't doing "enough" parenting&housework.

psilorder · 2021-01-24T11:42:11+00:00

Shouldn't it mean that caring, gentle men are more attractive to women?

Sure, but how to display being a carer? Displaying being a provider is much easier. (When one doesn't already have children. At which point, as you say, one likely already has a partner.)

And possibly carers are more attractive than non-carers, not more attractive than providers. Which may mean that a non-carer provider is more attractive than a carer non-provider.

Or carer could be assumed and so a provider (or better provider) is more attractive than a non-provider (or worse provider).

And they mention that carer laid foundations for provider which fits with how it is often argued that providers provide because they care.

Digedag · 2021-01-24T14:42:16+00:00

There is evidence that men with lower testosterone often engage in more prosocial, generous, and empathetic behavior than men with higher testosterone. Our team of researchers was the first to identify, in the Philippines and subsequently in other contexts, a relationship between lower testosterone in men and the amount of child care they do. In a large project that tracked men in their 20s over five years, testosterone levels dropped significantly when men became partnered fathers.

So men need high testosterone to attract women, but they need low testosterone once they are fathers. Nurturing dads are probably not attractive to women - but they increase the fitness of their offspring.

adam-l · 2021-01-24T12:47:43+00:00

No, caring men are generally NOT attractive. It is a stable anthropological finding that low-value men do more of the "caring" behaviors.

Apparently, low value (i.e. physically unattractive, lacking wealth etc) leads them to display more caring behavior, as a compensation, and on the other side, very attractive men need less of that behavior, since they attract women either way.

They key point is this: female (male as well) attraction is a limbic reaction. Women don't consciously weigh the plusses and minuses. They do weigh them unconsciously, i.e. with neural systems quite old, in evolutionary terms. Back then, behavior corresponded more directly to reproductive fitness. Meaning, someone that behaved as if he was distinctly important probably was (e.g. he did contribute more to the hunting group), otherwise the other men would put him down.

So, "callous" behavior signified that the man had other extraordinary qualities that afforded him that behavior. So, to put it simply, being an "asshole", when in a male-centered society, was an indication of quality, and thus attractive to women.

You can be caring and attractive, but the attractive part comes from elsewhere, not from caring per se.

Adam

a-man-from-earth · 2021-01-25T04:44:27+00:00

Someone can probably quote the reference, but I have read multiple times that research shows that generally women like more assertive men (a.k.a. "alphas") to have sex with, especially in the fertile part of their cycle; and they like more caring men (a.k.a. "betas") to marry.

smeltaway · 2021-01-24T22:20:59+00:00

caring fatherhood and even caring for children in general by males have evolved in many primate species

Not it hasn't. Females are the primary caregivers in 95% of mammalian and the vast majority of primate species, including great apes.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paternal_care#Mammals

lorarc · 2021-01-24T16:58:40+00:00

Well, I don't know about that. Isn't it a very old trope that a guy with a cute dog (or better yet a puppy) is seen as more interesting?

2021-01-24T11:26:56+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Are caring dads and, in general, caring men attractive for women? If not, what's going on?
Author	Blauwpetje
Upvotes	17
Comments	23
Date	January 24, 2021 10:42 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/l3x7td/are_caring_dads_and_in_general_caring_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/are-caring-dads-and-in-general-caring-men.1062040 https://theredarchive.com/post/1062040

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