Something vitally missing from our culture - initiations into manhood.

SamHanes10 · 2020-07-22T06:12:45+00:00

I agree that having sex has become a de facto initiation into manhood, but I disagree that "it's just the best we have". In contrast, I think it's worse than nothing because it means that the initiating of boys to become men is being decided by women through their choices of which men to have sex with. This encourages men to prioritise service to women, rather than prioritising mature and responsible behaviour.

I'd suggest a much better initiation barrier of boys into men would when boys show they are able to place other aspects of life above the need for sex, such as their own well-being. This has some resembles of initations in the past, where a big aspect was learning to be disciplined and in control of oneself. As to how exactly one would more formally implement this, I haven't given it much thought, but I'm sure an others can suggest of ways to do so.

Blauwpetje · 2020-07-22T12:47:20+00:00

I was in the Boy Scouts between 9-12 years old. They were a bit old-fashioned and narrow-minded, but as a whole I have good memories of adventures and playing in the woods, and though some of the male leaders were a bit macho and militaristic, our female Akela was very good and creative. Something like that?

Nath43673 · 2020-07-22T23:03:44+00:00

Thanks for this post - this is something I have spent years thinking about. It was sometimes suggested by the men's movements in the 80s and 90s.

Sadly, while the idea has a lot of appeal to me, there are two main reasons I can't see it happening, at least not in the near future.

As you've noted, these rituals historically took place in communities with a high level of communality, where the whole ritual could be safely controlled and regulated. A little like how certain indigenous cultures had ways of enjoying hallucinogenic drugs in communal settings, without them becoming a menace through individual use. Although you've suggested individual families below, I don't think this would happen except among a few highly motivated parents. If it did, I think it would be prone to abuse of all kinds, without the oversight of a localised community.
It's really hard to "invent" a new tradition that people will respect (except for Festivus!). The sense of history and purpose in Indigenous Walkabout challenges or the Jewish Bar Mitzvah arose over many generations, often with spiritual connections within the particular community. I think our industrial civilisation is too busy melting away the last of our traditions to start building new ones. That will probably only take place once we get into the more severe stages of civilisational decline and rebirth.

Rather than focus on the initiation ritual itself, I think we would be better to look at opportunities for boys to experience mentoring and role modelling from men in structured settings with a variety of challenges and activities to cater to different abilities and talents.

Vandechoz · 2020-07-22T02:50:10+00:00

I do really wish there were something like the military but that guaranteed the units would not ever be deployed overseas. Homeland disaster relief or something like that. New adults could receive training to help in emergency situations, earn college tuition, and help the country while they're at it. It wouldn't be manhood per se, but close enough, and without needing to be a continuation of damaging gender roles.

Ender_Skywalker · 2020-10-03T06:56:41+00:00

I think any such initiation would have to be gender neutral.

C0dey · 2020-07-22T10:31:34+00:00

No, that's stupid. Its just another way for men to compete with one another and put down those who fail said initiation and/refuse to do it.

Title	Something vitally missing from our culture - initiations into manhood.
Author	MMDT
Upvotes	6
Comments	25
Date	July 22, 2020 2:31 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/hvlf5l/something_vitally_missing_from_our_culture/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/something-vitally-missing-from-our-culture.1063084 https://theredarchive.com/post/1063084

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