What women really mean when they post ads on sites like 'Match.com':

  • Adventurous = slag
  • Athletic = no tits
  • 30 something = 41
  • Fun = annoying
  • Wild = gets pissed easily
  • Beautiful eyes = face like a walrus
  • Seeks knight in shining armour = ex husband is a fucking nutter
  • New age = hairy with a smelly vag
  • Headstrong = argumentative
  • Enjoys pubbing and clubbing = alcoholic
  • Curvy = Fat cunt
  • Cuddly = Fat cunt
  • Likes eating out = greedy fat cunt
  • Likes nights in = lazy fat cunt

Edit for my American brothers:

  • Slag = Slut/whore
  • Pissed = Drunk