Don’t be me

JohnBravo9990 · 2018-08-27T15:05:16+00:00

Ty for sharing. It’s basically legal for women to steal our children and make us slaves. Absolutely fucking criminal.

I hope things get better...

misandrists_hate_him · 2018-08-27T14:57:37+00:00

[deleted]

darkmanilluminate · 2018-08-27T15:39:18+00:00

Don't be too hard on yourself. You were trying to do GOOD, but you didn't see the manipulation coming. I know it hurts like hell right now, so find ways to take good care of yourself. For me nature was the critical prescription that helped me never let the despair get the upper hand. I still have to do it sometimes, just hike until I am exhausted & a handful of nuts, a slug of water from a canteen & a comfortable bed seem like the biggest luxuries life can provide.

5 years down the line life is completely different. My relationships with my kids are still works in progress, but they KNOW that I and my extended family are available to them & love them unconditionally, despite how the ex has demonized all of us. Trust me when I tell you there is a lot to live for ahead. Pick hobbies that really interest you and enjoy the hell out of them, reconnect with guy friends who are single or divorced--there are a lot out there--and lean on family, even if they're at a distance. I wish you strength and the best of luck. Hold your head high, you are NOT the fuckwad here.

SaltTax · 2018-08-27T15:39:45+00:00

It won't be like this forever. Hang in there.

jkarovskaya · 2018-08-27T15:19:46+00:00

I've been exactly where you are brother, you are in good company here, and we support you.

If you are still young, have reasonably good health, and have a decent paying job, you have all that going for you, because you can go forward to reach some short and long term goals

see your kids as much as possible, and be a good influence on them

start investing in your future with 401K, mutual funds, etc. See a financial counselor and contribute small amounts now, even if it's a bit of a sacrifice. I was where you are 36 years ago, and those small investments have paid off in spades

rely on family/friends for help,company, and counseling as much as possible. If you have insurance, try and find a male therapist for advice

if there is a men's support group in your area, go visit and see if possibly they are not all blue pill, there may be some help there.

One step at a time you can do this, many of us have been there before you

BoskOfPortKar · 2018-08-27T16:15:59+00:00

Remember this young men.

KIDS ARE JUST ADDITIONAL TRAPS FOR HER.

Still 5 years for me then ... I AM FREE !!!!!!!!

TheRiseAndFall · 2018-08-27T17:57:44+00:00

Beware of these women! My grandmother's brother's whole family exists because of these harpies. They drew men in with easy sex and then got pregnant as quickly as possible. Three whole generations exist because of these types of women on that branch of my family. And the men are all absolutely miserable. The women are nasty and overbearing. And they are way below the men's SMV.

Just as with cheap luxury cars, women who give sex cheaply can be some of the most expensive investments you have ever made.

DK-Growth · 2018-08-27T14:56:58+00:00

Fuck man, I’m sorry things turned out for you like that. I’m making sure I won’t ever let this happen to me.

Unthotful · 2018-08-27T15:27:32+00:00

That's pretty much my situation, except I was able to get 50% custody due to the fact she's a raging drunk. Look up cluster B personality disorder and mirroring, it's what she did to you.

It gets better. Work on yourself and not being so codependent on others for approval, that's what got both of us in this mess. Be there for your kids- you're the only counterbalance to her and her fucked up family. And dream about what you're going to do when the kids are grown and you can leave that shithole for good.

2018-08-27T18:09:01+00:00

Leave her and your kids, chalk up their soon to be dysfunctional behavior to a system too cruel to keep fathers around. Save up some cash, move to Thailand, Mexico, anywhere the system can't get you. Double middle fingers up with your back turned to it all. My little is young too, except my ex left my country with my daughter, it hurts but honestly what can we do? Generations of emasculation have seen it come to this and no one gives a flying fuck for you, empty those bottles, stare down that bridge, dance with that trian, no amount of help will work if you tried because the system is rigged. Or, get angry, make many comments anywhere you can about the vile nature of modern women, work on yourself, kick THOTs to the curb and ignore the rest.

You define your life now, not your past, not that scum you married, you'll see how isolation is empowering, something most women will never understand because they grow up being coddled, never held accountable for their behaviors like men mostly are, you'll get that good man back either way you choose to, but you have to accept that your kids are not yours and that cunt fucked you up good and she fucking loves that she has, now start a routine to heal, work out, self help books, anti feminist books to remind yourself, games, eat healthy, look for good social groups, etc.

Remember, you're not alone, in fact, welcome to the new normal. Sick fucking world.

2018-08-27T15:14:15+00:00

Condolences. Divorce rape sucks.

0kool74 · 2018-08-27T17:29:57+00:00

and it is stories JUST LIKE THIS ONE that continue to reinforce my resolve to NEVER GET MARRIED!!!!! Now, of course, I don't live in a vacuum. I know not all women out there are like the one in OP's tale. However, IT ISN'T WORTH THE RISK!!!!!

toolate4redpill · 2018-08-27T17:19:29+00:00

Your not alone! You have many brothers who are in the same boat as you. Its never too late to think about your future, your kids will be 18 some day. I'm in sort of the same boat, we can teach the younger generation what the modern female is all about.

michaelmindset · 2018-08-27T19:47:28+00:00

Holy shit. I just moved to a new city and am sort of in the same boat you were. Shit man, thanks for the heads up. Daily reminders like this keep me straight. I’ve been chasing the pump and dump life, but this makes me rethink that. Thanks again man.

Long term thinking.

2018-08-27T19:22:31+00:00

12 years a slave (2018 REMASTERED-Edition)

Sfrider · 2018-08-27T16:48:17+00:00

man this is horror wish you the best

Aegis1618 · 2018-08-27T17:23:26+00:00

That is a truly tragic tale, indeed!

But are you sure that you can influence your kid's lives in a significant positive way anymore?If not, why not go far away and say, teach English in Kazakhstan or something?I read about one hippie guy in the 60s who went to India, threw his passport in the River Ganges, and never returned.(Although I realize that this is all easier said than done.)

cleats4u · 2018-08-27T17:23:45+00:00

Thanks. This story is the poster child for getting a vasectomy. There is no point for any man to have children if he can't afford child support and alimony at some point.

labiteatibit · 2018-08-27T18:26:01+00:00

[deleted]

cobaltcolander · 2018-08-27T18:55:14+00:00

I’m alone now, no family or friends in sight and barely in the lives of my small children. Now I get to enjoy the pleasure of watching this AWALT emotionally manipulate and berate my children while I support her and on top of that still get all the support of her hometown family and friends. I now understand the pain of those men that have walked before me - but I must endure, because I know I’m my kid’s only hope for peace, emotional comfort, and personal agency.

I understand your predicament painfully well.

TaiYongMedical · 2018-08-27T21:16:53+00:00

By sharing your story, you have saved the lives of many others.

"Whoever saves one soul, Scripture accounts it as if he had saved a full world" - Ancient Jewish proverb.

Thank you brother.

openmindedprometheus · 2018-08-27T22:25:11+00:00

I'm in virtually the same boat. Why should you continue to enslave your emotions to your children? I stopped caring about them or else I'd have gone mad by this point. My advice is to quit even your kids cold turkey. Why should everyone else be allowed to move forward except you? I cast off every chain I could. Ill have child support payments for the next 8 years. I will not fathom being forced to engage with the sources of my enslavement. You do you but if i were you i wouldn't.

Global_MGTOW · 2018-08-27T19:09:44+00:00

This should be pinned as a cautionary tale, it's not as bad as others stories but it seems all too familiar and par for the course.

karben14 · 2018-08-27T19:41:26+00:00

MeToo. 39 years on the plantation.

NietzscheExplosion · 2018-08-27T19:51:31+00:00

Fk em ... bail. Thailand is kinda nice.

As-You-Were · 2018-08-27T20:09:01+00:00

Dude, just take off. Go to Malaysia, or Vietnam or something.

Don’t let her win - turn the nose in on the plane and take everyone down.

NewLife_2017 · 2018-08-27T20:44:48+00:00

A lot of us have been there, are there, or someplace similar. There is 1 thing you can do. Go live the fuck out of your life. Move your career forward, spend time in nature, pick up a productive hobby or two, do something charitable, and be an all around awesome human being. One of two things will come out of it.

You kids will grow up and realize the shit bag their mom is, and how awesome you are.
Your kids will grow up to be shit bags like their mom, and at some point the world will slap them in the face with the reality that you are an awesome person and they missed out.

Either way you had an awesome fucking life. Just remember that you can't control every outcome in life. Learn from the errors of your past and progress forward.

writefromwork · 2018-08-27T22:13:27+00:00

You can't change what is done. You are aware of how you ended up in your present situation. You have valuable lessons and experience to avoid this in future. Limit communications with your ex with the exception of matters related to kids. Let your lawyer do the rest of the talking. Don't be afraid to be alone. You will discover strength and fortitude that you have always possessed. You have described your ex wife's character well. I doubt if asked she could objectively describe yours. Meaning she doesn't and never has known who you really are. That means whatever plans you make going forward, whatever actions you take, your ex will be unaware of them and be unprepared.

A betrayed and poorly treated man is at his best when he has nothing to lose and everything to gain. Your focus is your kids and freeing them from the poor treatment at the hands of their mother. Let us say this is your primary goal. The second, escaping the sham of a marriage you are in.

The court is not in your favor and it doesn't sound like they will enforce your right to visitation. Document whatever abuse you can. If you can set up a hidden recorder or camera or both at the home - gather any evidence you can and take it to child services and your lawyer. If this is not possible get a private investigator if you can afford it. If you have any female acquaintances that would be willing to anonymously report your ex wife's abuse to child services that would help too. A complaint coming from a woman will be taken more seriously than one coming from you.

Each of our experiences are different. You will find support on this forum regardless of how you chose to proceed. Just remember you aren't alone and this will get better, just not nearly as fast as you would like. Survive each day as best you can and don't look too far ahead. You will come out of this experience like many of us, scarred but much stronger and hopefully wiser for it.

Mgtaoteching · 2018-08-27T22:39:15+00:00

Dang, man thank you for sharing. We need stories like yours in this sub to help spread the message to other men. So many blue pilled men think “that won’t happen to me, she is DIFFERENT.” Yea, she’ll divorce rape you differently. How about you flip a coin before you get married and there’s your result of how different she really is.

Just know that this will probably be your low point in life, but soon you will be free. I don’t know if you are paying alimony/child support, but at least you will have your own peace of mind. You will have the space to develop yourself and get your shit back together. Do the best you can with your kids. My dad did after divorcing my mom, and we have a great relationship today.

Good luck, man. Keep posting here and keep taking those red pills.

SingleManDR · 2018-08-27T23:42:03+00:00

The first thing modern women do is separate their partner from their support networks. She'll start with friends then family. I actually think at modern wedding the mother of the groom should bring him down the isle and give him away. The bride can stand at the alter with her father ready to accept the new husband into their family. BTW. I'd try to get into cash work for at least part of my income. Sure you want to support your kids but that doesn't mean supporting her lifestyle.

Baldrbaldr · 2018-08-28T00:03:51+00:00

I wonder how many men have similar stories to tell. Let's not add our own versions. MGTOW for life.

Magnar96 · 2018-08-27T16:13:40+00:00

Probably an unpopular opinion here but If I was you I'd write a will leaving everything to your kids and absolutely nothing to your wife (if they're not old enough then wait until they are) then suicide. But I'm a miserable fucker so that's probably a bit extreme.

NTL30 · 2018-08-27T19:56:39+00:00

I wish the men’s rights activist had more funding, what the fuck is going on. Are we that pussy whipped that we can’t change the laws that are clearly not fair & balanced? Either that or all that crazy conspiracy shit of non-human entities running the upper echelon of society is true, because people with fucken empathy would never allow this gynocentrism shit to happen.

2018-08-27T21:08:01+00:00

we're always here for you. life is long. you got time to rebuild. never let the darkness get you. your story is short but very powerful, there will be young men age 18-22 that will read this and it will change their lives. thank you for sharing.

painpainmorepain · 2018-08-27T21:26:40+00:00

Thank you for the words and inspiration gentlemen. It feels good and boosts the spirit to get feedback when you’re flying solo through this shit irl.

2018-08-27T21:30:45+00:00

You see, this is why I roll my eyes at the dudes that say "you need experience being burned by women to be MGTOW".

So you mean to tell me I have to go through some shit like this to consider myself a MGTOW? Fuck you.

Thanks for sharing this, it's stories like this is that set me on my path, I'll rather be the dog that avoided being burned than the cat that curiosity killed.

xenoSpiegel · 2018-08-27T21:42:46+00:00

Redpill your kid when they're adult.

CiceroVoltaire · 2018-08-27T21:46:46+00:00

Similar to my story. She divorced me, took half my wealth, I pay alimony and child support, but we share full custody. I'm doing better than ever, dated a few women, most half my age or younger, after we were separated and after the divorce until they realized a serious relationship and marriage were not going to happen.

Now I'm focused on recovering my wealth, saving for retirement, and live for today by getting new toys to enjoy myself and/or together with my son. Look at your options, see if you can divorce her and share full custody or get full custody. I was dying the slow death every day the last 10 years of the marriage until I rediscovered myself and reasserted myself, which I think is why she divorced me. Second best thing that's happened to me (the first being the birth of my kid). Good luck, save yourself and your kids as soon as you can, whatever that means for you.

Itisforsexy · 2018-08-27T21:54:23+00:00

It's really not your fault. You feel into the trap almost every man does because of two things, social conditioning (from school teachers to media to your parents), and because of your sex drive. Women use sex as a tool, sure they enjoy it with the top chads in the world, but in most cases it's just a method to extract resources from men. The baby trap in this case. Which of course, stealing your sperm to enslave you for 18 years, that's cool because a judge somewhere labelled the act of cumming as giving a "gift".

Lawyers and judges are tradcucks or feminists. There is no logic or victory to be found in their domain.

No one tells you this truth, you have to learn it yourself.

I'm lucky because I spent my youth homeschooled, mostly in Runescape. No media programming. My parents divorced at 13 and I saw the toll it took on my dad. I realized very early on how uneven the system was. Not to the fine details like I know now, but on the macro level it seemed so obvious. Why would I want to get married when that could result in such a brutal end? not to mention it would take away from my Runescape time. And my other advantage, my sex drive has always been very low. I still experience that carnal urge when I see a beautiful woman, but rarely do I get that urge unless exposed to that view.

It's like I only get hungry when I see a cookie. If I don't expose myself to it, I'm immune.

Umas15 · 2018-08-27T22:04:56+00:00

I'm sorry dude, but at least you learned your lesson I quess... there are poor bastards over there who even after divorce rape thinks that this one was just a bad woman, and there are still good women over there so they get divorce raped again and again...

Don't forget this lesson or all this pain and suffering will be in vain

MesaBoogeyMan · 2018-08-27T22:53:32+00:00

Wont be like this forever man. You'll get your freedom. Hang in there.

binrobinro · 2018-08-27T23:23:27+00:00

How many men will read your story and still say "That would never happen to me - she really loves me."

500dollarsinprizes · 2018-08-28T00:01:22+00:00

Welcome here. I remember the feeling at the realization that the fruit of my best efforts was being used to fucking bleed me, to the sound of my “friends’” cheers. Fuck that moment.

You’ll find it impossible to take this advice - I know... have someone who will hear you out. When you’re drowning and kicking for air, even a tiny foothold from beyond the panic will make all the difference. You’ll need that foothold most when you’ll be unable to ask for it.

SingleManDR · 2018-08-28T00:02:33+00:00

If she's BPD you probably have P/CPTSD like me. Ton of stuff online to confirm/explore about all that. In any event, you're definitely in the right place here buddy. Even just trying out MGTOW as a thought experiment has taken a big load off for me.

BanMeIMakeNew · 2018-08-28T00:13:59+00:00

What if I told you I did the opposite side, quit my job and became a SAHD. I then spentbthe next 8 years devolving into this dependant, out of shape addict. I became a fat, unhealthy, anxiety induced wretch. I married my oneitis from HS. I pretty much got what I wanted, and it still turned to ash in the palm of my hands. There is so much more to this, but I just wanted to say, no matter what we do, its never good enough. I gave everything up and just let her step on my back to achieve her dreams and she still slit my throat.

kayfab · 2018-08-28T02:02:54+00:00

Same thing happen to me too bro except the marriage and kids, i stop way before that happen, was dating a fatty in 2000 when i was fit as hell, last 3y she lost the weight but even then was not my type at all plus we where hanging out with fat people, lazy fat asses and i submitted to that for a while, after we bough the house she stop training and dieting and wanted kids, i sold the house before it was too late, i did not even want to bang that fat bitch anymore.

Today she is 44 and got 2 kids from pre relationship and 1 with a guy she married, she is a stay home mom and fatter then ever, she is a lazy fat fuck too so those kids must be fed shit all the time.

That was a huge bullet avoided for me, she tried to manipulate me worked for a while but she did not do it the whole way...

Fuck those women cunts they are all worthless

PerfectNemesis · 2018-08-28T03:15:30+00:00

That's the worst feeling. Paying for kids you never see while she poisons the kids' minds and make them hate you. Who knows if that money is being used on the kids at all.

Biccblacccoccz · 2018-08-28T03:43:47+00:00

Dont worry i wont ever be you and nobody even had to tell me shit about it

stringedbeams · 2018-08-28T03:52:00+00:00

sorry to hear OP, hope life improves and be the best dad you can :)

Mchooofer · 2018-08-28T05:26:54+00:00

Feel ya man..

crshdurmomlstngt · 2018-08-28T05:44:05+00:00

Thanks for posting, as I know this is a lot to take. The good news is that you are a man and you have the intestinal fortitude to persevere. Not only that, but you now are free. At first it will take time, lots of thinking and potential remorse, but when that passes you will find a renewed sense of worth. Keep fighting for what YOU want from life and do your best to be the stoic and honorable father you know you can be. You can't change her, but you CAN change yourself. GYOW brother.

RocknR0IIa · 2018-08-28T08:06:13+00:00

Man, that is brutal. One cannot describe what you have gone through and what you still have to endure, for the sake of your children.

Get strength, get help, CBT ( helped me) and sort this out. I know we have no doubt you can do this.

Syc254 · 2018-08-28T10:48:29+00:00

There should be tax reductions on divorced guys supporting exes and children.

2018-08-27T18:50:00+00:00

When you’re finally divorce raped and paying child support, then you have my permission to die.

Title	Don’t be me
Author	painpainmorepain
Upvotes	282
Comments	105
Date	August 27, 2018 2:43 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/9apiak/dont_be_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/dont-be-me.502279 https://theredarchive.com/post/502279

Comments