I get really depressed

Xein · 2018-02-03T20:47:30+00:00

It's tough fighting against our biology and instincts. MGTOW is not for the weak of mind.

IslandicFreedom · 2018-02-03T21:23:36+00:00

You're absolutely not a whiny little bitch. Far from it.

It's a huge fucking problem. You can keep trying to find a NAWALT, or accept an AWALT, but deep down inside you'll know it's not real love, and that's disturbing.

Without a doubt, it's the most disturbing thing I can think of.

Life isn't always fucked up, but right now females are experiencing a golden age of privilege. The west has turned females, not into the opposite sex, but the worshipped sex.

Wars played a huge part in delaying this effect. Men would go to war and many would die. The men that remained were in the minority and highly sought after.

It's not great for men when the ratios hit 50/50 (Like they are now). This and combined with all the social change and "equality" -> Women no longer need men.

coffeecup1988 · 2018-02-03T20:42:12+00:00

Life can be a misery or something wonderful. Today I came back from the gym and put my bicycle in the shed.

I hear my Indian ring neck parakeet flying back and forth in his aviary. He does this to get attention from me. I walk towards him and he flies straight for me.

He started singing and making these awful parakeet noises. I start talking to him (my voice calms the bird).

You could see in his eyes that he's so happy and he started flapping with his wings. I told him:

if it were up to you, you would be sitting on my shoulder for the rest of your life

My bird started flapping more. I felt really good seeing him happy.

What I'm trying to say is that it all depends on how you look at it. A negative mindset can force you to look at one point, while a calm mindset will let you look from a different point (new perspective).

firstpitchthrow · 2018-02-03T21:31:45+00:00

Something I've wanted to get off my chest for a long time, so I'll say it here and hope and pray somebody is listening: it is much easier to be MGTOW when you've had awful experiences with women. A man who has never had any experience with women has difficulty because he still has the idealized picture in his head, and real life experience hasn't broken his illusion yet. He may know, intellectually, that women are nothing but trouble, he may fervently believe this to be so, but his emotions still cling to the fantasy that they are safe and pleasant. A man who has had experience with women knows the fantasy is a lie, and he believes, both intellectually and emotionally, that he needs to stay away.

I'm nearly 40 years old, and I've never had an experience with women. Its not because I couldn't get a girlfriend, if I really wanted to, its because, intellectually, I understand that its better to be in a good relationship than to be in no relationship, but that it is also much better to be in no relationship than in a bad relationship. A bad relationship is the worst possible outcome: its soul draining, crushing, abusive, and financially expensive, with no easy way out.

My first ever red pill was when I was a senior in High School, and there was this really cute Sophomore Latina girl that I always wanted to ask out, but never did. A friend of mine, also a senior, did ask her out and they dated for about 3 weeks, and then, they just split, no explanation given. I asked my friend why they broke up, since I would have loved to have dated her, and he said, simply, "we fought too much" and he smiled. In other words, she made trouble for him, and he cut her off quickly. It was my first introduction to AWALT, since I thought she was very nice as people went. The cruel irony is that, in today's world, someone with her exact personality and physical attractiveness type would be top of the line marriage material for everyone. The quality of women has slid so dramatically since 1995 (the story with my friend was early in our senior year, so late 1995) that what was once the kind of girl who my friend just dumped after 3 weeks when they started fighting is now the kind of girl who, relatively speaking, is a unicorn.

Its that sliding in the quality of women that has caused me to remain a virgin. I know I could date and get laid, if I put enough effort into it, but the returns on that investment are diminishing. They had half-way decent odds back in the late 90's, but as time has gone on, those odds have fallen. I live right next door to a very large High School and Middle School in my hometown, and I see it every time I walk by the school on my way somewhere; the things even young girls are doing today makes them bad relationship material. I don't understand how they are ever going to have stable romantic relationships, they don't have the necessary skills. The thing is, these girls are actually somewhat stable, because my hometown is a wealthy sub-urb, so they all come from families with money. Since I live next to the High School, I will often see them out socially at restaurants and the like that are next-door to the High School, and I know that, despite coming from wealthy backgrounds, these girls will do anything for money and for thrills.

That all being said, there is something to be said for sex. Because it is such a key part of the human condition, I admit I know I am not fully human until I've had sex, which hasn't materialized to this point. My landlord is fond of saying that "every man needs sex", but that is getting more and more dangerous these days. I know I'm thirsty and desperate, and I know that I have to protect myself and exercise extreme caution because I know I'm ripe to get scammed. Its a hell of a position to be in; I've seen the nature of the next generation of women up close, and I know they'll do anything for money. I also know I have a plentiful supply of money, and I know that if they ever knew this, I'd be in the cross hairs. I don't know if I have the will power to resist, and I figure the chances are too great that things will go wrong. I truly wish there was that I could trade some of what I have for some of what I wanted in an equitable exchange, but, for reasons I don't understand, that is illegal.

sholomar · 2018-02-03T20:21:30+00:00

Agreed. Fucked up psychology.

RealToasted · 2018-02-03T20:31:44+00:00

That's the way it is my friend. No point in denying or trying to bluepill ourselves. Just keep on moving forward.

owninfools007 · 2018-02-03T21:47:38+00:00

That’s where I’m currently sitting at 26. They aren’t even worth the pretending just to pump and dump so it’s a lose lose situation.

faggatron0 · 2018-02-03T20:58:25+00:00

You're not wired, you're conditioned. Your caveman brain wants to pump and dump cavewomen and hunt elephants

List what you're grateful for, go walk in the sunshine, eat real food. You'll fee better

mgtow_man2 · 2018-02-03T21:14:16+00:00

Just get a doll.

WhistlingAlong · 2018-02-03T22:27:48+00:00

Wait till acceptance phase then you won't give a shit anymore. Promise.

RuminantBearer · 2018-02-03T22:53:08+00:00

MGTOW isn't easy, I still crave it. i'm 24

I wasn't raised with love so I try seek it from external things which I can't have.

I'm going to focus on making money now

ChrisBrownApologist · 2018-02-03T20:24:25+00:00

You are right

Judah_Earl · 2018-02-03T23:33:43+00:00

This might sound cheesy, but start by loving the most important person in your life - Yourself.

Keohve · 2018-02-04T02:36:22+00:00

It's not exactly the best time to be alive if you're under 40-50 and it hurts. Traditional dating as a concept was completely destroyed by 2006.

Blogginginvicecity · 2018-02-03T22:21:41+00:00

It's also my instinct to destroy people who I disdain, but in a civilized society people usually GTOW instead of trying to destroy all of their enemies. Our instinct is for war, but we choose peace. I would say relationships with women are a type of war against both sexs' hypergamous nature, and choosing to GYOW is a form of peace.

IME, GMOW is a process of swallowing the red pill. You have the anger, depression, and then the forgiveness (moving forward). I was in that depressed state for a while. I feel lucky, as having female coworkers has helped me through the process. I get to see how long and well concealed their occasional putrid, demonic behaviors really are.

holdthehodor90 · 2018-02-04T00:00:51+00:00

One trip into the public usually cures it for me. I see plenty of men either following her around like a dog or being nagged to death. I don't think it was ever really that great, now it's also done with a gun to your head.

MTGOStark · 2018-02-03T22:31:09+00:00

All animals are "wired" to be a certain way. Think of worker ants or worker bees, who will march to their deaths if subjected to the right pheromones. Luckily, humans are also wired with cognition, which allows us to make rational decisions based on circumstances. This at least gives some degrees of freedom.

2018-02-03T23:41:40+00:00

You can thank feminism and women’s sexual liberation. We have an entire generation of “proud sluts” and 2/10s females who think they deserve chad. I have no problem finding a cunt to fuck but finding love? Finding a girl who won’t leave you at the first chance of an upgrade? Good fuckin luck man. Stay safe out there

-clickhere- · 2018-02-04T03:54:54+00:00

Irregardless of what anyone says on here (about how we're not wired, or we are wired, how you should get over it, or etc), the truth of your life is individual to you.

So, if you feel like you are wired to seek love, that is your unique self.

The larger issue you are dealing with is: How can I stop wanting something.

Or, perhaps even a larger level: What is the point of all of this.

A few key things to remember

We weren't designed by evolution to be husbands/wives. There was no dating in the evolutionary past. Think about that for a moment.
We were designed to be parents, which is why women are good at being mothers, unconditional love with the children, etc. But not unconditional love for men, because they were only designed for motherhood, not girlfriends/wives.
So no one is really getting a "healthy relationship" as you put it, they are getting varying degrees of a so-so relationship. Try to keep that in mind. They are getting 60% of what they want in a relationship. So you are only missing out on 60%
You are also missing out on the pain and suffering of a relationship as well. The husbands only get 60% good, and a LOT of bad. So try to put it in perspective
But notice that YOU were not designed to be a husband (just as they were not designed to be wives).
So that means, even if you had what you think you want, over time you would lose interest (such as wives lose interest over time since they were not designed for unconditional love for partner, only child). So even though you want these things now, if you got them, the interest would fade
BUT, MOST IMPORTANTLY, you were designed to be a parent. So skip the love of a women, and go straight to your purpose, which is parenting.

Could start with dogs. See how it goes. Maybe that is all you need. Then could try something more. etc.

I know what I am saying sounds strange at first, but perhaps your fixation on 'women' is actually societal driven, in that you have these inwards needs, and then project that onto 'having a women' because that is what society is telling you to do, or what your friends do, etc.

To summarize: You CAN IN FACT have everything you want. If you had a women, that "love and relationship" would be conditional, not just from her, but from you as well. It would not be what you want, if you got it. What you were designed for was the "love" for a child, that would be unconditional.

Helikzhan · 2018-02-03T23:57:12+00:00

It's not genetic wiring but sociological wiring. Our culture tells us to seek the love of a woman. It does so through propaganda. We are not allowed to consider ourselves whole without female validation. Just open up any movie out there and you'll find this grand lie in it.

The idea that men seek women for eggs is something fools believe. As an example of this I've never wanted kids so I never sought such affairs in women. They were pleasures I sought before I realized I didn't need them anymore.

I'm not saying I'm normal. I'm pretty far from normal. Nearly all my life I've been the fly on the wall. Just watching the lives of others. Once in a while I would take my place in society and find out in short order why I never do. If I had to chalk up why I'm not so normal it would be my childhood. I adapted to being alone early and it made me stronger in this role. No doubt about it.

BlackHole94 · 2018-02-04T07:29:17+00:00

I already live my life against human nature.

It’s not human nature to work in a research lab, study medicine, go to classes, play video games and powerlifting. Yet I love my life.

OP, what you committed in the OP is the “naturalistic fallacy” where you assume natural is better than artificial. Not true. MGTOW has been positive for me.

2018-02-03T22:23:24+00:00

love is only for chads and the betas who are happy to play monkey for chad's left over

GoldSecond · 2018-02-03T23:36:57+00:00

Take LSD on time, you'll see there is so much more to life than women.

TheMarvelousSchmuck · 2018-02-04T01:00:02+00:00

It's the hardest part of taking the red pill, in my opinion. How many people in life have gotten through each day by telling themselves that they'll find someone they can be truly happy with someday? How many men have slogged through the roughest conditions imaginable just for the hope of finding true love?

To accept that it's all bullshit and to live the rest of your days constantly reminding yourself that finding love is impossible is a damn tough thing to accomplish. The last thing anyone needs in this world is less stuff to be hopeful for.

But unfortunately, that's how it is. Coming to terms with the reality we live in is how you make the best choices in life.

XxRandomguyxX · 2018-02-04T01:17:44+00:00

Yeah its fucked up. Im tempted to try, but I know what the end result will be, (pain). Its also getting too dangerous to pursue women, too many false harassment and rape allegations. That's honestly the main reason I won't ask out girls. Too much to lose, too little to gain.

I'm worried about being too lonely though. I'm I live with my family but at some point im going to be on my own. Like you said we have to somehow go against our biology. I wont be easy but Im sure as hell going to try to make this work.

Llodarr · 2018-02-04T05:28:48+00:00

I have nothing new to add. You are right! Everyone else that posted positive things is right! It's a bitter pill to swallow, but it's the truth. Now comes the hard part;. Living the rest of your life knowing the truth.
Good luck, brother!

Mr_Lonesome · 2018-02-04T04:28:16+00:00

I can find joy in pursuing my hobbies, money, knowledge, but damn, lacking love does suck big time.

Finally, a balanced voice! MGTOW is all great indeed but it does have drawbacks. It always hits me at the last hours of the day. In the hustle and bustle of morning/afternoon/early evening I am doing my thing: knocking out code, writing, reading, running, pounding iron. But late at night I am leaning against windowsills looking out at all the warm yellow lights twinkling in the darkness wondering, hungering, longing, brooding, hoping...but then morning comes!

holidaysboots · 2018-02-04T08:16:49+00:00

I can't help you with fighting the pain but I can assure you it gets easier with time. It's sad things took the direction they took but what can you do? You stop playing the game and build on that decision. Don't pity yourself. Women love self-pity and at their core they're weak creatures.

PM_BEFOR_IT_WAS_COOL · 2018-02-04T10:01:58+00:00

Being loved is not something that you can feel. Loving someone is.

It is not MGTOW but ironically more of my personnal own way, but if you must you can still try to love someone and seek a healthy friendly relationship. I have no problem with that as between friends we give each other support, counsel and help.

Keep your head cold and your distances, dont be over helping or you will be an orbiter and disrespected but see her from time to time just to smile and discuss.

theWillpowerEngine · 2018-02-04T00:05:35+00:00

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius really helped me.

I know that to some people the suggestion that you go read an old book to deal with an emotional problem seems dismissive or stupid, and I don't intend it that way. If it's not for you it's not but it could help, the man was a font of wisdom.

Baroque_Gn0me · 2018-02-04T00:16:11+00:00

The question is, if I watch porn, am I not MGTOW?

chasingsnow · 2018-02-04T00:22:36+00:00

there's a good scene in True Detective Season 1 where Matthew MCconnahuay's character is talking to the wife of Woody Harrelson's character who won't talk to him after she's found out he's been cheating on her. it's a great scene, i'll attach. basically the point is that men and women are't supposed to love beyond just procreation. that love and attachment and pair bonding is just for kids. we forget that biological fact and it makes us quite sad. but its just the truth.

https://youtu.be/_fOUMAntCiQ

Smokestack34 · 2018-02-04T00:46:08+00:00

You can find girls into you

it might take a lot of work tho

keep working on urself and keep on meeting ppl, things can get better if u work on it

2018-02-04T00:47:30+00:00

[removed]

stringedbeams · 2018-02-04T01:22:39+00:00

good thread because I agree it is tough if you want a relationship and are involuntarily mgtow (which could be even a mix of being volutnary because of "decent" women out there who aren't trustworthy enough and/or aren't "good" enough because of legal conditions)

I do feel it is possible to more or less entirely give up the desire for relationships and embrace mgtow voluntarily

This is also exactly the kind of thread I was thinking of making, I still kind of want to get married to the NAWALT (optimistic me) and yet I don't think this will happen (the realistic me). I guess the frustrating thing is that physically it seems possible to have a decent relationship - there are all these single women everywhere. So when that isn't going for me I feel like I did something wrong or I need to work harder, but it just never seems to come, and even when I get close it almost doesn't feel worth it (having already created good relationships before and experienced their dissolution).

I'm really thankful for the ability to talk to you guys and see the stories shared here though, it's like clockwork every week is optimism about finding the NAWALT, then like a pessimism when that doesn't come, then I log on here and there is some new outrageous low some woman has gone to and I feel like "whew, it's not just me the world is messed up and at least I don't have to deal with THAT".

so thanks op, thanks sub, I hope whatever God wants for each of you that you get to the goal!

Sumo94 · 2018-02-04T01:41:32+00:00

Great thread! Good comments all around. Way to go fellas

SuspectedLumber · 2018-02-04T01:53:34+00:00

I too still have trouble finding normalcy to be honest. The pill, the truth this sub helps illuminate - it's great, but am I strong enough to be able handle this truth...

your_inner_asshole · 2018-02-04T02:00:34+00:00

Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. The more the better!

And to be honest, I'm a member of a Filipino dating site. I've been on there for a few years now, on and off. No, I don't plan to ever marry again, but it does boost my ego to have all these hot little things messaging me, and it's nice to know that I have options. It's a past time, a hobby if you will. You can escalate things to skype, or actually go and visit and get your fuck on, or do nothing and just keeping chatting with the hoards of new young women who message you every day. It's kind of a reassurance, an insurance policy, that if I ever wanted to shack up again the opportunities are endless.

kp98409 · 2018-02-04T02:09:22+00:00

I dont think we are wired for anything. If we were, we would all seek out women. MGTOW existing means its in our nature to do it.

-Eventide- · 2018-02-04T05:30:54+00:00

Not all men are wired in such a way -- some are hard-wired (according to one theory, anyway) to seek sexual companionship only. Too, part of the desire for a loving/romantic relationship comes from social conditioning. There are probably plenty of men who would naturally go their own way with no feelings of guilt or yearnings for romance if it weren't for societal indoctrination for (and for women, as well) to seek out the whole marriage and child-rearing scenario.

BooDoug · 2018-02-04T05:45:05+00:00

lacking of love for yourself that is...when you're really love yourself, you will no longer feel depressed.

chikachikaa · 2018-02-04T06:00:52+00:00

I completely understand, but don't get depressed. I know that the sun is supposed to be shining. But it is winter now for men. And as such, we must act accordingly.

MGTOWorSLAVE · 2018-02-04T07:26:36+00:00

It could be worse. You could be married to a feminist.

spaceraverdk · 2018-02-04T09:17:42+00:00

I can only offer my personal opinion on this.

I don't even feel the need to have a partner to "love", as it is a wierd concept for me.

I can differentiate between getting my rocks off once in a while when I need to, and the insanity that is called "love".

One is a primal need, an itch to be scratched.

And considering "love" as nothing more than a chemical reaction in the upper brain, just as anger, envy, and a lot of other high up feelings..

Enlightened_Monk · 2018-02-04T09:48:43+00:00

Badass quotes help me out whenever I feel down: "So you walk eternally through the shadow realms, standing against evil where all others falter. May your thirst for retribution never quench, may the blood on your sword never dry, and may we never need you again."

realChebz · 2018-02-04T10:12:41+00:00

I don't think you come off as a whiny bitch. I think people who tell you that are full of shit. It's on our biology. We've evolved over millions of years to act this way, and then some shmuck on the internet tells you "just get a hobby bro". I think it's a serious issue that is not addressed at all in Mgtow community.

KrienseVulon · 2018-02-04T12:19:25+00:00

One analogy I have in mind is leg amputation

Having one leg sure beats having two when one is gangrenous

But you will much rather prefer having two perfectly healthy legs

I was brought up with far greater material wealth than my parents

I have far more opportunities that they could have dreamed of in my age

I may very well live a far longer and healthier life than my parents as medical technology advances

BUT

I will also not find a partner as my parents found one another.

The feels can be quite real some times. I turned 25 not long ago. It bothered me 5 years ago, it bothers me now. I can distract myself with reading, working, video-gaming; but I will not have the joy of supporting a loyal partner.

F*cking baby boomers and their decadent lifestyle ruining it for everyone thereafter.

micestorff- · 2018-02-04T12:54:34+00:00

"Dear year 2k18, mens still follow the dream that a woman will make them happy and improve his poor life"

just stop before you really get hurt.

fmanly · 2018-02-04T13:28:40+00:00

I get really depressed when I think that we are wired to seek love and a healthy relationship with women, but that's not possible today.

Keep in mind that this isn't just true today - this is how it was for all but maybe a few thousand years of history in a few places.

If you look at social animals in the wild (wolves, apes, etc) most of the men seek mates but never have them.

You're wired to seek love and a relationship so that your genes are propagated. Women are wired to be picky about whose sperm they accept so that their genes are propagated. This combination is actually very effective for making the human race stronger.

It just sucks for the 80% of men who get passed over.

We look at marriage in the early 20th century as the norm. It is actually an anomaly when you look at the entirety of human history.

Now, when you go above the species level to the culture level marriage is a very effective policy, which is how it became so prominent. With stable marriage that 80% of the male population now has a stake in society and is invested. Also, even the top 20% of men have more of an incentive to invest in their children, because they can't just wander around town impregnating all the women and walk away. It is like a company giving stock options to their employees - people have a reason to do more than the bare minimum. And this is why cultures that enforce marriage tend to be more productive.

Most countries are tearing this system down. As a result men realize that marriage doesn't have much benefit. The top 20% get sex, the bottom 80% don't. Neither has much incentive to invest because it doesn't change this equation - Chad gets sex whether he is a CEO or otherwise, and the CEO gets divorce raped, and the incel remains one even if he is making $150k/yr until the women hit the wall, and by then they're starting to wise up.

Yeah, it is unfortunate, but that's just the way it is. Marriage was nice while it lasted (though it has downsides as well - the old system wasn't very nice to battered women who did in fact exist). Eventually a new system (which might or might not be the same as the old system) will come into power, because the current state of affairs is not stable.

the_unseen_one · 2018-02-04T18:17:57+00:00

It's a struggle, to be sure. But the alternative is ruination and even greater pain, so what choice is there? Don't be beguiled by false promises of happiness and comfort in the plantation.

Fleeting-Life · 2018-02-04T00:17:43+00:00

I get really depressed when I think that we are wired to seek love and a healthy relationship with women, but that's not possible today. So you either keep trying and cope with the pain of being let down, or GYOW and live the rest of your life against your human nature. That's a fucked up choice we are faced with.

same here, this world is a sick joke

El---Rey · 2018-02-04T00:19:32+00:00

I get really depressed when I think that we are wired to seek love and a healthy relationship with women

Here's the thing OP. The more I go my own way, the less lonely I feel. I don't get distracted by games designed to get me to reproduce.

icydays34 · 2018-02-04T08:43:49+00:00

I don't think we're wired to seek love and companionship with women, I think we have been conditioned to since we were kids. We're hardwired to fuck and spread our seed though, and that's how we've been duped.

Title	I get really depressed
Author	klav11
Upvotes	200
Comments	121
Date	February 3, 2018 8:07 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/7v1q1v/i_get_really_depressed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/i-get-really-depressed.598073 https://theredarchive.com/post/598073

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