Anyone here pursuing monk mode?

YouSaidChicken · 2021-02-07T07:25:42+00:00

Monk was just me not pursuing dating any more. It wasn't any really big decision, just stopped doing it as there's no value there worth the cost.

I, luckily, don't get lonely and don't get urges for kill streaks, I prefer solitude in most things. But it all depends on the situation.

No one cares what relationships I am or am not in, either among friends or family, so I didn't really have any problems.

I don't come from a family or culture of people who cares about that crap, so I've sort of lucked out.

Solo_and_Simple · 2021-02-07T13:18:40+00:00

I've been monk since 2007, 13 years, steadily, apart from some rare, short-lived deviations. So I was essentially monk (though blue pill in many ways) long before encountering MGTOW. I'm 59.

There are a lot of factors that go into a relatively happy, contented "monk" life. Everyone is different, of course, so the factors might be different for you than for me. I want to mention one factor that doesn't get much press: having a good relationship with yourself.

For me, that's been a cornerstone of a happy/contented single life. I first learned about it from ACA groups, which I attended in the late 80s (I grew up in an alcoholic family; ACA = Adult Children of Alcoholics). I learned about the effects of my upbringing, and in particular learned the concept of becoming your own "parent." That's antiquated language now, but the idea is that, rather than replicate your parents' treatment of you internally (which is what most people do: they treat themselves like their parents did), you learn to act like a good parent to yourself -- to give yourself empathy, understanding, attention, guidance, and support.

This has been a very important process for me. Without it, I would've failed. Being a monk (or "single," as I usually think about it) is a tough road in some ways. It was particularly tough before MGTOW, red pill, and the manosphere existed, because I was on my own.

Building my own internal support system -- having a good relationship with myself -- was crucial. There is a line I remember: "Of all the people in your life, you are the only one you will never leave and never lose." That is, of all the relationships in your life, it is your relationship with yourself that is the most important. That is especially true if you're monk or single/unattached.

Having a good relationship with yourself means addressing any insecurities, depressive tendencies, anxious non-productive worrying, fears of living alone, fears of dying alone, or self-doubt you have -- anything that would stand in the way of feeling okay about yourself. It also means building your ability to understand, accept, and support yourself. These are skills that do not come naturally, especially for those of us with less than optimal upbringings (which is to say, most of us).

For me, it's been crucial. I won't pretend that I've got it down, even after all these years. I still have times that I slip into some old negative pattern (e.g., anxiety, pessimism, self-pity), and I have to work my way out. But I've come a long way.

Without intentionally cultivating a good relationship with myself, I would've been sunk many times, many years ago. I would've run off to find a woman to cure my feelings, to support, care, and validate me. In fact, I did a lot of that in my earlier life. You can guess how well that worked out.

YKN88 · 2021-02-07T10:30:44+00:00

Failed university, struggled to finally complete it ,jobless at 25, joined special training program for software engineering and then pandemic hits and ruins your placement chances, embarrassed over parents supporting you, still trying lots to find a job.

well at this point even if I get a job, I am now accustomed to my sole lifestyle and don't think will want to change relationship wise

mgtoown · 2021-02-07T09:02:57+00:00

Great question op. Every mgtow will have his own way. I personally went monk for 6 months but I have needs... And I flat out refuse to pay hookers - some mgtow do - that's their choice.

I make it extremely clear to women what I want, and what I don't want. This results in short term flings. I usually bang the same woman until she decides to run after Chad. But I'm not upset, and I'm not surprised anymore...

MGTOW has taught me about hypergamy and how women are. And it's basically fact. You should see their attitude when they know I'm not bothered about them leaving...one of them actually "came back" to me.

There's a thin line between a pickup artist and MGTOW. You could use this knowledge in different ways. I know I'll never marry, never live with a woman, never have kids, but I'll definitely bang a woman from time to time.

ncubez · 2021-02-07T08:20:40+00:00

killing urges? occupy your mind.

dealing with loneliness? understanding why you feel lonely, owning up to it, accepting it, and then learning how to enjoy your own company.

ignoring women? truth is, you can't, you learn how to negate advances.

hanging with the boys? BS with the boys and reflect on it after you get home.

always strive for self improvement above all else.

BringTheFingerBack · 2021-02-07T10:07:41+00:00

It's all very easy during a pandemic. Haven't had any sex in going on 2 years now and it's not a big deal. Who cares anyways? You have more time to yourself, can learn new hobbies, improve on old ones. I'm in my late 30's now and all my friends are feeling the affects of having wives, and they are probably having less sex than me 😂

Grand-MasterMgtow · 2021-02-07T10:39:25+00:00

Ive been monk for a few years now.i used to do hook-ups.but not in awhile.i effectively put my urges aside and fully purge my relationship thirst.so no problems there.so why am i here?is it to brag and gloat?no...im proud to be MGTOW.the only time loneliness normally comes over me is on weekends.then it was only on sundays exclusively.maybe because nothing much happens on a sunday.and when its extremely slow,noticed.but since 2020 to 2021.something surprisingly happened.i dont feel any forms of loneliness.when im home.im so much in love with the peace and quiet and the serenity of it all.i hate it if someone visit me after 7pm when its my down time.it pisses me off when poeple call me on my phone between 9pm to 10am.i tell you poeple,sometime i wonder if something has gone wrong in me or maybe i should be scared for myself.but with how female nature is getting worse and worse by the second.i think ive been scared shitless about even being in a S.T.R or hooking up.im fairly sure im almost castrated off connecting with any form of women unless its in a platonic state.the modern mgtow proverb saying"no wife,happy life"rings true for me.but there are still things us monks have to deal with when dealing with females day to day.like the hatred women have for mgtow monks and they are not hiding it at times.(and no i dont go walking around telling females im a mgtow monk.)if your an attractive mgtow monk wether your or old and you treat them with indifference,they hate you after awhile.smiles that used to greet you now turns into contempt and disdain.if you are financially successful it gets worse.because your not letting any females have access to your fortune.not hooking up with them means no spurgling of your seed for them to atleast attempt to baby trap you.or even worse.they come at you like zombies throwing their bodies at you trying to get your attention.talking to you while stroking your arm or some other parts.trying to entice and seduce you to go back to the plantation.and many a man have fallen to thay trick.ive gone on long enough.didnt mean to bore anyone with my rant.ill stop now.

Ok-Collection-8948 · 2021-02-07T14:29:20+00:00

For me my loneliness ended when I finally realized its up to me how I spend my time. I often wanted to fit in with the blue pill crowd while at the same time wanting to reject their lifestyle and keep my freedom. The loneliness ended when I resolved the conflict, accepted the fact I preferred to be alone, and then I began to enjoy the time I spend alone.

I spend my free time hanging with my dog. I have hobbies and I try to stay in shape and best of all I’m not stuck with a woman terrorizing me.

I’m not saying I wouldn’t prefer a wife and family but in our decrepit society that’s not an option. I would never settle for a woman unknowingly traumatized by her past. They don’t realize the sacrifices they are making when they pursue temporary relationships.

atheos42 · 2021-02-07T11:09:39+00:00

Pursuing? Nothing to pursue, I'm already there. I'm focusing on my investing so I can retire early.

daniellederek · 2021-02-07T13:52:57+00:00

If you go grey man monk mode will soon follow. If you present as the most boring grey Toyota Carolla driving man on the planet no woman will give you a second glance.

SpaceNinjaDino · 2021-02-07T14:30:08+00:00

I tried monk and it made me crazy. Then I finally tried sex dolls. They fulfill my urges and loneliness -- unexpectedly. I accept that I'm a sucker for the female form and let my imagination run wild. With dolls as companions, it frees me to focus on life/hobbies for most of the day.

GaatsX · 2021-02-07T18:11:20+00:00

Well.. i am.. when i started, it was a mess.. it felt lonely..had less meaning of life.. killing urges.. had no one to guide.. but the turning point was when i understood that " it will all pass"... all i had to do was go through it and it will be all fine.. you may feel soo lonely at night that you'll feel void inside your heart and have difficulty breathing.. but it all passes.. next morning, you'll wake up fine and energetic as ever..

The meaning of life.. it became less..but you can say it became more....well.. profound.. tbh there isn't really any meaning to life.. you give it meaning.. and the meaning i found was to focus on myself rather than worry about things that simply don't matter..

Another important thing is to un-f_ck yourself from all the bullshit society taught you..

And BE OPINIONATED.. it makes you hesitate less and be confident in yourself to just do it rather than worry..if you be successful, great.. if you suffer some loss, you'll be okay with it.. you'll have more opportunities.. you'll improvise..but believe in yourself...

theoconomist · 2021-02-07T18:31:35+00:00

I'm religious and Mgtow so mandatorily monk mode.

TRPonlySubsBanTRPppl · 2021-02-07T11:16:04+00:00

The monks would talk about it?

Forget about keeping busy, then forget about as much as you can. Things work best that way.

Your non MGTOW guy friends are women in a man's body if they are simps. If they are TRP, idk, I don't know any of them anymore. They are probably simps as well.

TheLiquidMonkey · 2021-02-07T13:45:20+00:00

Well. I have been practicing semen retention, cold showers and meditation (wim hof method) and the results have been phenomenal. Although not MGTOw per se, but more red pill oriented. It's remarkable how much positive attention I get from ladies and how much better I've become at vetting them.

dreadnaut91 · 2021-02-07T20:14:13+00:00

Been monk for over 5 years now. I focused on being the best version of me I could be and letting the results bring people to me instead of going to them. I've had women hit on me but I won't ask anyone out, even that has some risk now which I just don't want to take. That leaves it to the woman to ask me out which hasn't happened, but it is one of the things I think needs to change so I will stick to it. Sticking with your standards is something else I do a lot of and makes it easier to stay on your path. The people who don't meet your (realistic) standards just aren't worth your time, you're better than them, that at least makes me feel a little better. Men having standards and sticking to them is needed and will build self respect, you'll also get a bit of mine.

Financial-Ad3904 · 2021-02-07T21:36:44+00:00

Year two in progress... so far, so good. Investing in career advancement. 41 y.o., 3 passports, 4 properties in two countries.

Daytime CPA income is backed up by two passive sources: e-commerce and property rentals.

Pursuing an executive compensation to have a retirement option by age of 55.

Currently working up to 80 hours a week and training for 12th marathon. My schedule precludes all the non-sense from dealing with you know who.

batfish55 · 2021-02-07T12:01:44+00:00

Mostly just meh for me. You should be spending a third of your life asleep (which I ain't getting), a third of your life pursuing whatever the fuck you want (which is good enough), and a third of your life at work. My work has kind of gone to shit lately; no fulfillment anymore. I was looking to move on...but then the plague hit, and we can't drive too far, sure as shit can't fly. I got plans, and that's something, but can't pursue GingTFO of here until I get shot.

Edit: Am trying to work on a semi-healthier diet, tho that don't really count as monk mode to me. Unless I lost 20 lbs or something.

priestMarX · 2021-02-07T19:10:52+00:00

eat healthy, exercise often, meditate daily. Grow plants/get in sync with nature in some way.

Read the Bible too. If there is one monk mode truth I can impart on, it’s that Jesus is legit God made flesh and we are made in that same image. All of the political bs and social agendas are there to keep us from realizing this/our full potential as individuals/as a society.

guerroguapo · 2021-02-07T14:24:22+00:00

I am but I'm older so perhaps it's easier for me. There's no way I could have done it in my twenties.

RaphAttack11 · 2021-02-07T18:15:32+00:00

I’m in monk mode. Basically all I do for SR. My longest streak was 7 months (Dec2019- July2020) I just hit 7 months with this streak I am on now (July2020-present)

For me the urges are gone entirely. It’s actually great. The way I started was basically going MIA. For a few weeks i was offs socials and didn’t talk to anyone. However as I went. I struggled with wet dreams, urges , and all. The best way I dealt with them was ignoring them but if you keep yourself focused on different tasks you will forget abt them. Cus most the times when you’re horny you’re just bored and you have all that excess energy so you want to fuck. But use that energy to put into a hobby

With the loneliness , I recently just started enjoying my alone time. I had to go within and search for the reason why i felt so lonely and when I did, I started to hit my stride and enjoy my loneliness. This one takes time in my opinion and you should be careful cus I almost lost my seed a few times cus I was lonely.

Loneliness is addicting

But it’ll take it’s time to get there. it’s a daily process thing . Mediation helps a lot too with everything and reading.

Now Atleast I don’t get much urges, I find women attractive but I don’t care abt sex so I basically friend zone all girls that come my way. Which led to deeper relationships being formed with girls. It’s caused me to change what I seek in a woman. I really look for depth and knowledge, but I don’t chase tho. I let girls come my way. I also feel extra focused , it’s really great ,and it’s probably cus i don’t spend time worrying abt women .

I want this to be a life style thing for me and it’ll really take the most perfect girl to take my seed.

monkeestatuE · 2021-02-07T19:00:41+00:00

Been monk for a long time now and I am at peace.

MGTOWch · 2021-02-07T19:02:57+00:00

I focus on work, I’m happy alone, have a good family, lots of games and porn. Outside of work, I’m totally happy like that.

Monk mode is only difficult if you compare yourself to others life.

Daylyte12 · 2021-02-07T20:18:21+00:00

Monk mode is really hard at the onset but gets easier as time goes by, you learn to suppress urges be it internal or external:-) and going into monk mode isn’t just about not dating it’s about gaining solitude a higher thought process and a higher birds eye view both on yourself and on the society in which you live in. Disclaimer: it’s hard doing it every day than you think 🤔 it’s a grind like anything else and you find yourself more tricked by the black hole 🕳 than never before because everyone and everything around you is fake and glittery and wants you to participate in their illusion ! But the trick is you already know it’s an illusion so how do you navigate not to be sucked in ! “ That’s the monk mode “ all urges to be suppressed to nearly Zero!..it’s a simulation of a perfect nuclear winter because you’ll be willing to leave behind most of the things you desired like your friends,family and even material things like cars etc

The monk mode is a lifestyle and not for the faint at heart ❤️ always know what you are getting into or else you’ll be wasting your time

Fiyarhi · 2021-02-07T20:22:16+00:00

For someone like me, 24 years old virgin, monk is my reality.

Monk per se doesn’t bother me, what bothers is the thought that I’ve never had sex.

Magnolia1008 · 2021-02-07T13:32:42+00:00

i've been looking into this too. if you started a monk sub reddit devoted to monk practices I'd join.

pinkhunter420 · 2021-02-07T16:10:21+00:00

jerk off a lot and focus on youreself

UnearthlyDinosaur · 2021-02-07T16:45:09+00:00

Monk mode is a lot easier in the age of Covid. I focus on work, watching my favorite shows, exercise, and cooking

monk201 · 2021-02-07T22:41:35+00:00

Have been a monk since may 28 2018 and no desire to leave monk

pandamoanium33 · 2021-02-08T02:49:14+00:00

Yessir!

I have a female roommate that was trying to fuck me for some time. Long story short she started bringing some dude home to "flex" or something? My third roommate and I are laughing when we realize homie hadn't even stayed long enough for a half of a full work shift before walking out the door (8 hours is a full shift here, homie stayed for 4 hours and bounced)

I've pursued monk mode because, like the aforementioned scenario, women are so pathetic to the point of it being just sad. How do you pursue someone, fail, and immediately start bringing a stranger home? You sure showed me bringing a guy that can't even stand you beyond a pump and dump.

It's bordeling joker-esque the way these women move the way they do only to sleep alone. Personally I've found that I don't have the strength to tolerate it....

So I meditate in my cave. Alone. Patient. Waiting.

souloversociety · 2021-02-07T15:07:44+00:00

Join the semenretention subreddit

dbfkf · 2021-02-07T15:21:31+00:00

Ditch pornography. Ditch anything sexual.

Radiant_Weather_1377 · 2021-02-07T19:45:10+00:00

I've been in what I consider monk mode for several years now. I no longer date or pursue any sort of relationships with women. I avoid blue pilled guys as much as I can. I focus solely on myself and the things that fulfill me like my hobbies and sport. I guess my only exception being that I still pleasure my self, but it gives me clarity and brings women totally back into focus for what and who they truly are. For me I like this way of life. Its simple and I'm responsible for myself and what makes me happy. No drama. No stress.

Sabertoothsnowhobbit · 2021-02-07T20:13:50+00:00

Most likely because the ones that are have become comfortable with the reality of this generation’s relationships. We have moved on on to our own pursuits and don’t think about this much anymore.

Personally I no longer give much thought to that anymore. I have become used to seeing women for what they are. When I observe women interacting with men I see how most use affection and intimacy as a means of control and power over the men around them. There is little honesty or faithfulness in them. I am not interested in being involved with a con artist or a narcissist.

kanga573 · 2021-02-07T21:36:44+00:00

Hate to ask, but... ever considered a relationship with a male? I do know of one guy who, after being burned a third time by a woman - cheated on again - tried dating guys and has been happily living with one ever since. I'm exclusively gay, so I understand having NO interest in one gender, and yet... I'm sure there are plenty of gay men - I KNOW there are - who would welcome any kind of relationship, even non-sexual and more roommate-like, with even a straight guy. Imagine a male "roomie / partner on your side in all things" who really loves you and supports you. Just asking.

DavidBolha · 2021-02-08T01:03:14+00:00

Just engage in multiple meaning hobbies that suit you. 😏

whyserenity · 2021-02-08T02:33:14+00:00

Focus on your hobbies and on what makes you happy. Ignore the noise and the people that try and bring you down.

CatcherFreeman69 · 2021-02-08T04:45:31+00:00

I enjoy monk mode to an extent, though it is easier for me because I plan on getting ordained and giving my life up to service. Though I do see women and consider how things would likely work out, and the answer is usually with me losing my children and income while she gets dug out while I pay for it. After that, I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. I am also working on paying off debt and and am a homebody, so it all adds up to monk mode for me.

Flexed23 · 2021-02-08T12:54:14+00:00

Join a gym and start lifting weights...not recreational lifting..hardcore. It will expand your confidence and attract woman. Maybe just lay pipe instead of a GF?

Sangohan92 · 2021-02-09T14:13:09+00:00

Been monk since 2015. I wouldn't say I am actively "pursuing" it, it kind of happened by itself.

The most important step I made on my journey was to work hard in order to buy a bachelor pad, without which monk mode wouldn't have been possible. As per the topics you mention, here are two cents:

- Killing urges - that's one I struggle with, especially with covid and being forced to stay at home. Exercising a lot and staying busy is what works the best though.

- Dealing with loneliness - my family is largely non-judgmental regarding my lifestyle so this helps. I have a dog too. And I try to stay busy with work, sports and seeing like-minded people in real life. Handling non-mgtow guy friends is tricky. I've found that cutting off people you've known for a long time all-of-a-sudden brings more problems than it solves. The key I found is to do it progressively by not giving as much news as you used to, saying you're busy when your friends gather and bailing out with a lame excuse at the last minute etc... Eventually the relationships will die out on their own, but those things take time and get ready for your guy "friends" to talk shit behind your back...

- Ignoring women - that's really down to getting burned in real life. After a 5-year LTR went sour, I am largely unattracted to women and don't chase anymore

Jon_UMVC3 · 2021-02-15T09:46:18+00:00

The monk way of life is all i need. I thank God everyday, for i have the strength to pull it off.

Anyone here pursuing monk mode?

Comments

The Bible

Title	Anyone here pursuing monk mode?
Author	Brian-_S
Upvotes	164
Comments	77
Date	February 7, 2021 7:19 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW2
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mgtow2/comments/lehs60/anyone-here-pursuing-monk-mode/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW2/anyone-here-pursuing-monk-mode.1600580 https://theredarchive.com/post/1600580