Does your wife suffer from DD? Desire Dysfunction affects thousands of wives and girlfriends around the world. Symptoms usually appear 1-5 years into the relationship and if left unchecked will lead to Need New Dick Behavior, Cold-Hearted Bitch Syndrome, or even Crazy Ex-Wife Disorder. Check u/exbp's handy chart below:  

 

Symptom Outward signs
no kissing "Your breath stinks", "There's people around"
no blowjobs to orgasm "I never liked it", "You take too long", "Eat some pineapple"
lube required "I think my allergy pill is doing it", "You need to go down on me"
lights off / eyes closed "I just prefer the dark", "I'm trying to concentrate"
no sexy clothes (for you) "Oh these? I was saving these for Girls Night Out"
no blowjobs for foreplay "I'm tired"
positional anxiety "Other positions hurt", "You finish faster this way"
situational anxiety "The kids are still awake", "We can't do it here"
no orgasms "This was just for you anyway"
pillows holding her up "I'm tired"
no grooming "I'm just so busy"
genetic concerns "Oh okay-but don't cum in me"

 

1-2 Symptoms? You only want me for sex

3-5 Symptoms? I need a trip with just my girlfriends

6-8 Symptoms? Facebook martial status: It's complicated

Over 8 Symptoms? She's out fucking the neighbor right now

 

Luckily MRP researchers have found a cure! Just a few milligrams of CHAD^TM daily can turn these symptoms around. If you can't find any CHAD^TM at your house, well neither can she.