I've been lurking for a good long while and rarely ever post here or in /r/TheRedpill, but I've noticed a trend in MRP that I'd like to address. It's nothing new and has been addressed in the past, but I think it's worth calling attention to again.

Most new users discover TRP and/or MRP and then lurk here for 2-3 months before posting with a title like "I swallowed the pill 2-3 months ago, but..."

Hard stop. Let's get something straight -- you have not swallowed the pill. You have only discovered the pill. The process of swallowing it is much longer and much more arduous than you can even imagine. You will be swallowing the pill for months, years, maybe even decades. And when you're finally in a level place and you think you've seen it all, another barbaric display of AWALT will jolt you into reality once more. Swallowing the pill is a process, not an action.

Your marriage (or LTR or whatever it is that made you decide you belonged in MRP) is like a chess board. Right now, you're only a few moves away from checkmate -- the family-crushing divorce nuke that removes your king and replaces it with Big Daddy Government.

Suddenly faced with the realization of this hard truth (and that your strategy has been wrong the whole time -- maybe you should have started with a Sicilian defense instead of a French defense waaaaay back in your 20s), you decide to take charge and start the game over. You overturn the chess board and immediately address your woman with your intent to make changes, expecting that you can pick up the pieces and just start over.

Sure, you can do this, but it reveals a lack of patience and belies your inability to make truly positive changes. Your woman will see through the impatient episode and either disbelieve it or fight it. Either way, she'll rebel, and it won't be pretty. She may even take the chess board you so flippantly tossed aside and burn it.

A lot has been said about The Main Event of MRP, and you won't be able to avoid this. However, you can make it much less painful if you keep what you've learned to yourself. Don't actively share it with your woman. All she needs to know is that you're working to be a better man, and she'll know that by seeing your actions.

This is equivalent to regrouping your pieces on the board -- bishop pins the queen, pawns advance, rooks close in on the king -- rather than flipping it over in childish defiance. You're still going to experience a main event, but you'll be in control of it. You'll know how the pieces move. You'll know when to make a play and when to wait. You'll be acting, not talking about acting. As veterans of this sub have said over and over again, Acta, non verba.

Act, don't speak.

Since childhood, you have been brainwashed to believe that you're a defective woman. You think you can overcome this programming in mere months? It's impossible. Ask any veteran here and they'll tell you their transformation took years, and they experienced heartbreak, depression, rejection, frustration, anger and maybe even suicidal tendencies multiple times throughout the process. It's a long road and it's not easy. You cannot swallow the pill in a matter of months. And expecting to have a "discussion" with your woman about the "new you" -- without any proof of a "new you" -- will send your chess pieces scattering across the floor.

You need to study under the masters for a while before you can regain your power on the chess board of marriage. Read MMSLP and No More Mr. Nice Guy, lurk TRP, subscribe to Chateau Heartiste and the other "main" RP blogs (Dalrock, Rollo, Illimitable Men, The Red Pill Room, etc.), and read older posts written by MRP mods. Read, read, read. Slowly start to practice what you've learned. Internalize it. Feel the pain and the anger and the humiliation of being tricked your entire life. Channel it into the gym. And most importantly, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT about your plans to better yourself.

Until then, you won't regain control of the chess match. And trust me, it's much better to be closer to mating her (heh) than it is for her to be nearing mate on you; or to be picking up the pieces because you talked about your feelings like a whiny, needy pussy.

TLDR: Don't think you've swallowed the pill after a few months of lurking, and definitely don't sit your wife down and explain the steps you're going to take. Read, read, read, and take each step one at a time.

EDIT: Corrected a chess term and added TLDR.