I swallowed the pill 2 months ago and have been lurking ever since. I owe an update on my progress.

Tl;Dr: Swallowed the pill 2 months ago, made more progress than I thought possible, still way more improvement to do.

Background My father was a beta, borderline omega. My mother branch swung to another that was even less involved. For all practical purposes, I was raised by a single mother. Combine that with popular media and what girls/women say, I grew into a great NiceGuy™.

I was a great beta provider and managed to get myself cheated on like a good little blue pill. I didn't stick around. I eventually met and married my unicorn. I started to get better at being a leader, but only minimally. We had kids, my unicorn didn't want to grab at me anymore, kiss me, call me sexy, etc. Sex dwindled to 1 to 2 times a month, which my unicorn claims is perfectly normal for a married couple. She even explained that women just aren't physically attracted to people like men are (stop laughing, I'm serious. She said that).

2 Months Ago I accepted that I'm now in my 30's and married, and that sex and passion just aren't supposed to happen anymore. But something just felt off. I lurked /r/deadbedrooms and found quite possibly the most depressing place on all of the internet. I was a step away from acceptance when some bitter person made reference to /r/TheRedPill and how screwed up it was. Clickity click and I ended up here.

I saw many field reports of success, and as counter intuitive as it all seemed, I jumped right in. What did I have to lose? I read the material, learned the basic principles, and started making progress at a surprising rate.

Lifting That's easy. I can do that. I had been counting calories and was down from 212 to 185 (I'm 5'10"). I bought the cheapest set of dumbbells I could find and started exercising. 45 minutes on the elliptical and 45 - 60 minutes lifting Walmart weights. After just 4 weeks, I was making noticeable gains, and my wife was talking about it. She loved it. More importantly, I loved it. I'm down to 177 now (still overweight) and feeling great. My posture has greatly improved and my ability to stand tall makes me much more confident. People at work have even mentioned it. My chronic lower back pain is improved and my acid reflux is gone. Even my allergies are better.

Single best step I took. If you are where I was 2 months ago, just shut up and lift.

Covert Contracts Most eye opening to me was discovering that as a NiceGuy™ I wasn't very nice. The nice things I did were in order to gain something in return. I've stopped all "choreplay," and comforting that I do in order to gain something. Instead, I just say what I want. It felt weird at first. I remember telling my wife, "wear the pink panties today." She asked, "why?" I said, "because I'm going to bend you over tonight and those are my favorite ones." Guess which panties she was wearing that night? All of the complexities go away. I just have to say what I want.

Asking for Sex Along the same lines, I stopped asking for sex. I stopped scheduling sex. I stopped feeding her ibuprofen to combat the headaches and making sure the house was in perfect order in order to make it happen. As a curtesy, I sometimes let her know earlier in the day what I'm going to do to her, but I never ask anymore. She has every opportunity to say no, and I would just find something else to do, but she hasn't said no yet. I'm more dominant than I ever was before and she is loving it. In the blink of an eye, we've gone from 1 - 2 times a month to just about every other day.

Play My wife is very serious and not very playful. Being the accommodating NiceGuy™ that I was, I made sure to have a filter so that nothing crude or offensive would come out of me (usually). Along the lines of just doing what I want, I've removed this filter. I grab her ass, pull her close by her hips (she loves this, but would never admit to it) and say dirty things to her.

Being Busy I've always been busy. I work full time and volunteer for church and another organization regularly. I collect and shoot firearms, remanufacture ammunition, do home and car repairs, and lately, work on computer electronics (a Raspberry Pi). I've also been very apologetic about being busy, making sure I respond quickly to text messages, and generally feeling stressed when my availability upsets my wife. She would be stressed when I returned. I don't apologize anymore, I take my time to respond to messages, if at all, and when I get home, I find that the world hasn't ended, and if anything, she's less pissed at me than she used to be.

To Do I think I have made amazing progress, but it is only a start. My wife still doesn't flirt with me like she used to, so my SMV is not yet where it used to be. I'm happy with my progress, but I can be better. Here is what I still have to do:

  • Get nicer clothes. With the weight I lost, what i have is baggy.
  • Improve my workouts. I need a barbell with enough weight to do deadlifts and a squat cage.
  • Make new friends. I need male friends who can be a positive influence in my life.
  • Improve my IDGAF. I still feel butt hurt when my wife is unfair or unreasonable. I don't act like it as much anymore, but I need to internalize AWALT to the extent that I do not resent her for acting like a woman.
  • Teach my Boys. I don't want them to grow up like I did, wondering how it is that they do everything girls like, but girls don't like them. I need to teach them to be leaders.

So the novel has come to an end, but it's only book 1. Things aren't as they seem. Marriage and children are the beginning, not the end. There is plenty more conquering to do if you are willing to reject the Al Bundy/Homer Simpson model of a man and be the best captain of your ship that you can be.