I posted yesterday how my wife cheated on me with some dude several times while I was in boot camp.

Thank you to the gentlemen who responded. I kept my shit to myself with her, but sort of word vomited on here.

I had a whole post dedicated to how this came about, but it would have been a waste of words because as Family Alphas, each story is unique, hearing mine would not have benefitted you.

So the takeaways for any dudes who get fucking sideswiped by some bullshit like I did.

  • Shut up. Just shut the fuck up and keep a majority of what you want to say to yourself. I didn’t word vomit, I didn’t emotion vomit, I just listened, asked the key/clear questions and absorbed. The truth trickled out and I got everything.

  • Research stoicism. The only reason I didn’t break walls, break chairs, and destroy my fucking house was because the past few months I’ve been working on controlling my emotion Harnessing my emotions. I was fucking pissed. I’m getting beaten in bootcamp and she’s on her back, AWALT. But, I did not let her see how bad it hurt nor did I let her know how mad I was. Stoicism helps you control these opinions and look at the situation from a Stoic’s eye.

  • Get away. In this case she left. She took the kids and went to her parents; I took off and sat in a book store parking lot. Some people have church and god, apparently I turn to books. Here I was able to go over the facts, lay it out, and think of what I wanted.

  • Be selfish. I made the decision to stay. I made that decision not because we have kids, it’s not for them. Not because we have a house, I can sell it and Not for her. I decided to stay because I want the family I have and I will be happier if we stay together. She fucked a dude when she was my girlfriend, ever since our engagement she’s been solid. Engaged, Married, to the present the sex has been hard/consistent/adventurous. She cooks our meals, ensuring the kids eat healthy and at the table, etc. and I enjoy her company. I like being with her, she’s an interesting chick who just so happens to of been a whore girlfriend. I probably will never know everything that happened, I get that, AWALT. So I had to make the call as to what to do. I could cry, punch shit, keep bringing it up, think of him and her when I’m fucking her, let the past erode my mental strength until it breaks me…

OR

I can do what I did.

  • I made her tell her parents what she did, so they knew the type of girl they raised.

  • I made it clear that the relationship was now mine, no longer ours and that if she has a problem with how it’s operating that she can leave.

  • I hate fucked the shit out of her; it was awesome, so much rage.

As of now, I’m completely shutting down communications on the subject. It doesn’t help me at all and it provides an opportunity for too many words to be spilled. Instead, I’ll do what we all should do, move forward and let our women know that they aren’t our mission. If they cheat, lie, or whatever, you keep moving forward they can’t break you.

Acta, Non Verba.