Is this a shit test

theultmatecad · 2015-03-16T01:10:47+00:00

ya....shit test. specifically a compliance test and you failed it miserably when you first defended your choice of shirt (its a nice shirt) and then change into another one (is she your mommy? who gives a fuck what shirt she wants you to wear)

Next time she asks you to change... say no. then walk away and make self a drink

As you begin to tell her NO in different areas of your life, she will begin to respect you. This of course means you need to act unphased when she loses her shit that you finally grew a backbone.

TLDR Say NO, act indifferent to her protests that you wont comply

BluepillProfessor · 2015-03-16T02:35:27+00:00

There is quite a bit here. These are a form of Shit Test called "compliance tests" and you failed. We always say maintain frame but you need to work hard on developing a frame first. Your Frame is so far up your wife's crotch I could smell it while I read your post.

First you have a covert contract that your wife is going to approve of your purchase. Get rid of your covert contracts. Second your source of authority is other women. What do YOU think about the shirt and why do you even care what your wife thinks?

If she is trying to dress up her pretty boy lover to show off that might be one thing, but that is not what you describe.

Mastros34 · 2015-03-16T00:55:43+00:00

Doesn't seem like any comfort test to me. When she tells you to wear another shirt I would ignore it/tell her no. Her trying to control something as small as the shirt you wear is just her seeing how much control she has. If she didn't like the shirt and you were a proper captain in her eyes she would say something like "You may want to wear this shirt, it makes you look even sexier."

But when she's demanding things it's a big mistake to break frame and give in.

Redneck001 · 2015-03-16T01:29:33+00:00

OP, wear what you want to wear.

She responded with : but I have to look at it.

"I'm wearing this shirt so ALL the ladies can look at it. 'Cause I look good. You play your cards right, you might get to bring this shirt home with you." Don't forget to smile when you swat this shit test down.

BrunoOh · 2015-03-16T01:12:39+00:00

Sounds like beta-fication to me. They'll tend to try to lower your smv to keep you from leaving. Fucking up your style is one way to do that.

UEMcGill · 2015-03-16T02:44:47+00:00

You broke frame by changing your shirt, even if it was one of your choice. In this case the message was the message "change" not the shirt.

As others have suggested, ignore. Or when you get better at this, amused mastery. "Awe, so cute! She wants to dress me, hehe..."

CaptainWasHere · 2015-03-16T01:09:26+00:00

It definitely sounds less about the shirt and more about her being able to dominate you. If she's used to this level of dictating over you, then it'll probably be a bit of a hard climb back. Where else does she control that irritates you? What other shit tests is she throwing your way?

You half-assed retaliation was cute. I can say that b/c I'm still Mr. Nice Guy trying to stop the passive-aggressive antics. Make sure your "holding frame" doesn't include pouting. I'm still working on stopping pouting.

She may think it's a sexier shirt on you and want you to look good. She may think it looks worse on you and she doesn't want you looking too good in public, since she's already got you. Some women take comfort in their taken men looking less than desirable. Either way, it was her dominating and she did win. Make sure you don't retaliate like a child from pent-up aggression. Hold a stoic frame and stick with the shirt you want calmly.

With my SO, I'd have a frank talk with her about it. Something like "I'm picking out my shirts. I'm done having "mommy" dress me. Feel free to respectfully request if you think something is extra sexy." My SO would appreciate the bluntness b/c we're both in "improve the relationship mode", then my actions would make sense to her and covertly show my follow through. That would work with my SO, BUT your wife might retaliate harder from a direct, overt assertion. You might get a ton of shit tests after that. Let a more experienced RP add thoughts.

sealteamaus · 2015-03-16T12:29:43+00:00

bro all i can say is bitch please, you might need a week off from your wife to go find your nuts #toughlove

TrainingTheBrain · 2015-03-16T12:58:28+00:00

She notices it's new and says "um it's okay."

Yeah, that's not what the lady at the department store said. Walk away.

You are not handling any of this appropriately and you should know that.

My wife said she didn't want me to grow my beard, wax my mustache, or 'get bulky' from lifting.

I have literally done whatever the fuck I wanted to include:

growing my beard she fucking loves it and strokes it while we chill on the couch sometimes
Waxing my mustache, *she thinks it looks 'oldschool' gentlemanly *
Gaining mass muscles = tingles

Build your frame, confidence, and read more posts on MRP/TRP.

Countpudyoola · 2015-03-16T13:50:24+00:00

So by now, and reading the responses, you realize you shouldn't have changed the shirt , correct?

Overall I think you two are discussing your wardrobe too much in general. If it wasn't a control issue (where she's just using it for compliance tests) it wouldn't be a big deal if she asked you to wear a shirt she LIKED or maybe not dress like a slob to a function you didn't realize wasn't casual.

But in your case this is clearly an area she's latched onto so you need to shake it loose, by dressing up and that's that. Definitely don't steer any conversations towards your clothes and if she makes a comment about it change the subject or amused mastery "no". This also being some clear win for her in the past I might also expect her to amp up the shit test further with "Well, I'm not going out with you dressed like that." To which you reply "Ok" and proceed to go out without her.

KyfhoMyoba · 2015-03-16T23:56:09+00:00

Yep. Big time shit test. Good response: [with wide-eyed, child-like look] OK, mommy, will you pick out a nice shirt for me? I don't know how to do it like you do.

Agree & amplify.

LaV-Man · 2015-03-16T14:19:21+00:00

Should have worn the shirt she didn't like then insisted you take a poll of the ladies at your destination on what they thought.

Don't think I'd really do that but seemed funny.

AZTRP · 2015-03-28T14:58:34+00:00

"No, I've already put this on" or just "No"

Also think about what the dept store ladies have to gain from telling you what they did.

jamoni22 · 2015-03-17T05:34:29+00:00

New frame: any clothes that you like are awesome. She says change it, you tell her "This shirt is awesome."
End of discussion.

Title	Is this a shit test
Author	Slowandsmooth
Upvotes	5
Comments	19
Date	March 15, 2015 11:58 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2z6eax/is_this_a_shit_test/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/is-this-a-shit-test.202345 https://theredarchive.com/post/202345

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