It's written all over my face...

whinemoreplease · 2015-06-19T13:37:57+00:00

Fuck. It's not about disguising your emotions. It's not a bag of tricks.

It's about putting in the hard work necessary to make a personality level change.

It seemed just like a synonym for confidence, but the way it was talked about in the manosphere was a little different. I wondered how I would know when I had developed it. It’s important not to bullshit yourself when you are embarking on a difficult course of self-improvement, since it’s easy to fall into the trap of saying “yeah, I get this now.” That’s a cop-out and won’t help you in the long run.

...

However, personality doesn’t change overnight. The way that personality changes requires two things: 1) a new outlook and strategy, and 2) new experiences to test out the new outlook and strategy. After enough new experiences filter through your new strategy, real changes in attitude and personality start to emerge. But that will only happen if you put in the hard work.

http://www.returnofkings.com/49743/a-simple-way-to-understand-inner-game

Countpudyoola · 2015-06-19T14:52:17+00:00

You only need a poker face when you're outside doesn't match your inside. Keep working on the inside on IDGAF. It's not just about cultivating a cavalier outward attitude it's about having a cavalier mindset. You'll get there with more work and even almost a year in I'm still having to work on it. So the time it takes is just that...time and lots of it depending on where you're coming from.

In the meantime, if you feel like you're losing control of yourself... make scarce. The harder the loss, the scarcer the better until you can recover. I recently had a regress where I lost it. I stayed downstairs until I thought I had the shit under control for an hour. Still wasn't enough. I should have made my scarce: scarcer and with more space.

marxistbacon · 2015-06-19T14:58:50+00:00

Your emotions are what happens when reality (your wife saying shit, traffic being backed up, crisis at work) hits your beliefs. If your beliefs are fucked up (OMG I can't stand up to the wife, she's unstoppable, she's right to judge me, traffic always fucks up my weekend - it's like God's plan that I shouldn't succeed even in getting home on time) then you'll have these big-assed negative emotions come up. Harder to hide them. When your beliefs become more solid (I have the right to stand up for myself without blowing a gasket, she can't ruin my day because I'm unstoppable and in command of my own self, traffic sucks but there's no sense getting angry about it) then you don't need to hide all these negative emotions, because they're not coming up all the time.

Echoing the rest of the posts - frame comes from your beliefs, from improving yourself. Slapping a little whitewash on the outside is OK for a short term fix but if the house is rotten you need to fix it at a more fundamental level.

Bruce_Jennder · 2015-06-19T13:40:55+00:00

First off this should tell you you haven't fully internalized RP truths. If your emotions are written all over your face they should read the stoic, amused or A&A positions you are taking.

Amused Mastery has been my go-to strategy because now that I recognize these tests for what they are, they are nothing but funny.

MgFeSi · 2015-06-19T13:42:25+00:00

I don't know how to work on your poker face.

I know how to work on controlling my emotions. As I improve my ability to monitor and direct my emotions, I remove the need to improve masking my emotions. Why work on disguising your emotions, when you can address the root cause?

If I'm in control of my emotions, I don't hide them.

dandar4600 · 2015-06-19T14:53:21+00:00

My wife knows my username, so not only everything I think is written on my face, but she even knows my private thoughts that I share with people of Reddit. This inadvertently caused her to stumble into this gentlemen's locker room that is called MarriedRedPill.

Now what are the shit tests that would cause you to fail them by having your face show your emotion? If she asks you to do something that's unreasonable because she could do it herself easier and without putting undue burden onto you, if you tell her to do it herself you will pass the shit test no matter whether anger or amusement is shown on your face.

If she denies you sex and you show disappointment or resentment that means you don't have outcome independence yet. But that is not a shit test. That is you not having high enough SMV and not having completely unplugged yet. You will fix that in time with the knowledge you gained from reading the books linked in the side bar and from lifting weights.

Nothing we do here is cause for women to resent us for. In fact allot of women would love if their husbands would stumble to this place and incorporate the advice given out here. There was a thread just like that here a week or two ago where a wife was wondering how she could get her husband to unplug.

I guess what I'm trying to say is for you not to worry about showing your emotions. Read, lift, continue working on yourself and eventually everything will work out just fine.

Redneck001 · 2015-06-19T15:28:35+00:00

Just keep working on it. Pretty soon, you won't GAF and that will be written all over your face. Don't forget to smile when swatting tests away.

My wife says (generally) that everything I think is written all over my face.

"I have blowjob written on my forehead?"

BluepillProfessor · 2015-06-19T16:49:11+00:00

Own your emotions. There is nothing wrong with showing your emotions on your face unless you are playing poker. You are not.

You can learn to dull your emotions by reading the Stoics but strong emotions directed in a masculine way are actually quite attractive. I would read the Stoics but work on directing your emotions rather than suppressing them.

Nathatius · 2015-06-19T13:07:53+00:00

Whenever you start to feel a sudden emotion coming your way, look at a fixed point some where in the room and concentrate on what you have to say. When listening, try to keep your jaw clenched but relax your eyebrows so they're not furrowed. Just don't stare at something inappropriate

stonepimpletilists · 2015-06-19T13:48:33+00:00

Take the other advice here, and as for the rest... pause, 2, 3.. then act.

Until youve internalized the stoic, theres nothing wrong with having a viceral reaction, pausing, letting it pass, and then acting.

Better yet, this is a great time to head into the garage/bar/hobby/gym and come back after. Eventually that viceral reaction will be her cue that she crossed the line

Moldy_Gecko · 2015-06-19T14:47:07+00:00

Dude, try real, deep meditation. This has helped me change perspectives and help me get over many hold ups.

UEMcGill · 2015-06-19T16:16:43+00:00

So embrace that shit! Next time you catch her in a shit test, and she's watching your emotions, EXAGGERATE IT to the max. Then tell her "Thats a great idea! You're such a great wife". Amused mastery is about sarcasm.

Don't try to cover up your weaknesses, use them to your advantage. She wont know what hit her.

hamsterbaiting · 2015-06-19T16:21:14+00:00

In one episode of Friends, Joey popularized the term "Smell the fart acting". As an actor, his character pretended to smell a fart in order buy time to remember his lines. Not sure if you ever watched the show, regardless google it if not familiar.
That or something similar could be a temporary crutch.

Title	It's written all over my face...
Author	gettheresomehow
Upvotes	12
Comments	20
Date	June 19, 2015 12:59 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3aecq8/its_written_all_over_my_face/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/its-written-all-over-my-face.201657 https://theredarchive.com/post/201657

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