So, I'm fit. I've got a great job. I'm not in a deadbedroom, but I'm always striving to improve myself. There's just one issue where I feel I'm a bit fucked.

Early days I was fucking meek as shit. I've always been the sole income earner, she's a SAHM, so she needed access to my bank to pay for things, fair enough thought old me. She asked for a card to my account, I agreed.

Now it's more than a decade later and money is the only issue that I have that I feel stops me from being able to be the man I want.

For instance. I want to be able to take us on surprise holidays, I want to be able to take her and the kids to an activity without hearing "It'll cost too much".

Since she's on the card, she basically monitors whats in and out, and generally, frivolously spends the rest. It's not on jewellery or shit, it's normally things for the kids. So if I try to get her to justify the spending she just says she doesn't want the kids to go without. Basically we live paycheck to paycheck (but we do save, that's not factored into this), but don't really need to, we have a huge disposable income.

I flat out told her I'm taking pocket money out of the bank to do with what I want. She agreed that it was fine, but it comes in slow and goes so fast. (took me 6mnths to save for a holiday).

I know that trying to separate finances would not work at this point, but I make an amazing salary, more than anyone I know, but I feel like it's just taken for granted. She's constantly talking about how she wants to replace this or buy that (really stupidly expensive stuff, like I bought her a car, she then wants a new on that's twice as much), which makes me feel like I'm not earning enough, but I've peaked in my career (I'm actually heavily overpaid).

How can I fix this money shit without being seen as a walking ATM anymore.