Need some comments

whinemoreplease · 2015-01-27T20:55:20+00:00

First off... 2 weeks isn't so much time. Having said that, you know what you need to do. I've read some of what you've written. I think you've got some good insights and ideas. I feel like what you need is someone to give you permission to do what it is that you want to do. You don't need that permission.

You've actually said what you want,

"I view my role as a woman as "a soft place to land." My husband goes out to work and achieve all day. My work is to give him support and comfort so he can go out and do it again tomorrow. I do all household chores, eliminate drama, keep in touch with his family, especially about birthdays, etc. Essentially, I view us as a team; he represents "us" in the world and I represent "us" in the home. Life is too big for one person to handle all the roles we need to address, so we split up, tackle the day, and at night he comforts me by making me feel safe physically, and (I hope) I comfort him by making him feel safe mentally/emotionally. My two cents."

Set those expectations and give her the chance to meet those expectations. If she recognizes your improvement and wants to improve with you, you have to give her the chance to fail, and help her out if she's having a hard time. What I would do is tell her what I want, that I trust her to give it a go, and if she's struggling, to come find me and I'll see what I can do to help. Revisit in like 3-6 months.

You know her best, so you'll probably know where she'll struggle. That's where you should help. As long as she's making you happy and meeting your expectations, I'd argue that she's doing pretty well.

Countpudyoola · 2015-01-27T21:23:45+00:00

So here's the thing. RP is a personal journey. You worry about you. She'll either mesh or not. Chances are , regardless of what she says, what indoctrination she has to give lip service to, she'll either respond positively to the changes or drop off the grid.

Is she a feminine woman? You'll get clues. She's not macho competitive and keeping up the guys, doesn't like kids, etc.. Again since rp is improving you, you may change your mind about her. That's not a problem , it'll just be a fact of the new you.

Don't even get into smv conversations with her. When she says stuff like

"Ooooh, and I've been going like this" and she ramps her hand downward.

It could mean anything. It could mean nothing. It's just words. Try to avoid talking and do more initiating and doing.

And as great as the rpwoman's post sounds. Try not to get caught up in idolizing and fantasizing about perfect people. That shit's easy to type, and she may be like that most days now, but if her man beta's up she could flip in an instant.

TL;DR: RP up , SMV up , worry about you. Her role in this will shake itself out.

strategos_autokrator · 2015-01-27T20:55:53+00:00

You must initiate the flirting. You must be more masculine if you want her to be more feminine.

she sees the need to increase hers but does not know how, and this is causing stress in the relationship.

Has she said that, or do you think that?

It's just that it's starting to seem like she's not the right girl for me.

That happens sometimes from TRP. You find yourself and become clear of your needs and decide that you aren't happy where you are. There is nothing wrong there, you can change yourself, but you can't change others. Think hard before going into marriage if you feel like this already. This post by /u/Archwinger might help you make up your mind.

NotABibleScholar · 2015-01-27T21:42:37+00:00

While you do worry about you, you do have a position to help her. Tell her what you expect, but not all at once. In other words don't give her a laundry list. Start with your top, and be honest. "I would appreciate it if you took over the day to day household chores while I'm at work, so that when I'm home we can have more quality time to do other stuff". Or " So, and So, has a birthday coming up, I'd like you to call xyz to find out xyz..." If phone phobia comes up, sympathize that you understand her phobia, but then ask her if she wants her life to be dictated by a fear. Then drop it, and be patient..

theultmatecad · 2015-01-27T22:46:34+00:00

You barely tasted the pill. Put that desire to have her DO something aside while you immerse yourself in the copious ammt of reading in front of you.

So many men confuse swallowing the pill with learning of the pills existence.

I can tell you are still focused on her.

Wrong place to spend your time. It should be on you

pcadrian · 2015-01-27T22:52:07+00:00

I was going to suggest introducing her to RPW, which is what I did with my gal like a month ago (going better than I expected), but you mentioned that she was pretty indoctrinated into feminism soooo.... it's a gamble either way. I'd say have a "gentle" chat with her, and ask if she is serious about improving herself. If she says yes, tell her you have a very good resource that you think will help. The rest will work itself out. Expect resistance (I didn't get much, I consider myself lucky), and just patiently and gently guide her along.

Remember, ultimately you want to marry a RP-minded woman. So let's say this blows up in your face - you have to be prepared to lose her... Just remember your needs and your standards for the woman you're going to spend the rest of your life with, the future mother of your children.

I talk about my situation in a few posts here.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-01-28T00:04:51+00:00

I don't think she knows how to increase her SMV for me at all.

Tell her about girl game. Most girls know how to increase there SMV (Hint: It involves having sex every day and being sweet, helpful, and submissive otherwise). Feminine energy and charm and a happy disposition are the basic ingredients. Have her read "The Surrendered Wife" and "Fascinating Womanhood."

You are on the rocket docket bro. Two weeks and off to the races.

/r/redpillwoman is also a good source for girl game.

nopbeentheredonethat · 2015-01-28T12:56:09+00:00

However, I don't think she knows how to increase her SMV for me at all. Whenever an opportunity presents itself she just gets sad and stares at the wall. Never flirts. She has no feminine charms (except of course the sex). It's almost like I was (am?) her buddy that she would bone. Which, don't get me wrong I would love the fuckbuddy dynamic except we live together in an exclusive relationship and are engaged.

I love this paragraph from you. It tell a lot about the way you see her and the way she see you.

About her raising her SMV and being more attractive for you. You have to understand that women like men have been lie to by the matrix. You could internalize RP knowledge Like this, page 6-10 and have a discussion about what she think trigger attraction in both men and women. If you can pull this off you will have a great time discussing sexual concept with her for the rest of your journey with her.

So how do I get her from where she is to where I want her? I know I will have to lead her to it somehow, and it will take patience and time. It's just that it's starting to seem like she's not the right girl for me.

To do what you want to do (correct me if I'm wrong) you can use two different path. Either you work alone on your own game plan. She will respond in time, or not and you will have to make a decision about your future with this woman. Or if your brave enough and, can hold your own in an (Argument, debate call it whatever you want) you can start discussing sexual strategy with her and brake the hold the matrix(Feminism) as on her.

I have been doing this with my wife two week after I learn about the RedPill. But I was never shy of a good discussion and I'm use to debate all kind of stuff. Some here are terrified about talking to theirs wife about the RedPill some other do it and have great success. Whatever you do you have to know your shit and hold frame.

Edit words:

roe_ · 2015-01-28T05:21:21+00:00

Does she want to be that person?

Title	Need some comments
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	20
Date	January 27, 2015 8:31 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2tvonp/need_some_comments/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/need-some-comments.202624 https://theredarchive.com/post/202624

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