Seeking Advice

BluepillProfessor · 2017-01-14T00:27:24+00:00

I am going ahead and approve this even though AskMRP was designed to take these kind of questions. The intriguing twist is that you are not just a wife, you are the wife of a Merp.

made sure our sex life was very active. I felt like a super wife and I literally woke up blissful almost everyday.

You have your baseline. You had some setbacks. Now work on returning to it. I am sure you have had physical therapy. Have another one and this time tell them your goals and the baseline weight you want to get back.

my drive is almost completely gone.

Let me guess. Narcotics? I would personally try weed instead. For both the pain and the drive.

Are there any small gestures I can do to show him how thankful I am?

Ummm, I have to ask because I have never understood. Does a blowjob require a "sex drive?" Can't you derive pleasure from giving pleasure? I give my wife a massage and take my time. It is not particularly fun for me. It is, in fact, tiresome. I do it because she get's so much pleasure from it.

I know for a fact that a hand job does not require a sex drive from the woman. Showing some interest and admiration during a groin massage does go a long way, however.

I figure if you want a "small" gesture you could just go big.

Aechzen · 2017-01-14T01:54:24+00:00

I have talked to my doctors about why my drive is so low, they say it's due to my brain injury and I just need time to heal.

Athol Kay says that sex is all about hormones.

I suspect that the docs have put you on drugs, especially if you have back and neck injuries. Those are often oxy* drugs, which are highly addictive, and for a lot of people don't even do that great a job at relieving the pain. I tried some after surgery; I really didn't like how they made me feel, and I preferred to relieve the pain by ice and elevating the affected areas rather than those drugs. I had hand surgery for a severe fracture. I just put my hand on my head for a few days and walked around like that. Extremely effective. You may be able to do part of those strategies.

If you haven't already, you should see a chiropractor. They're way more invested in helping you lose pain and gain mobility. Not being able to move without pain is awful.

Somebody else here recommended pot. I do too. If you're in a good enough state where pot is legal recreationally or medically, give it a try. If not, consider moving or breaking the law.

The closest person I know who had a severe enough back issue that they needed to quit their job has become a daily pot user, and it was the only thing that worked for his pain. He's mobile again, employed again in a different field, with lots of physical therapy and changed workspaces. He uses a standing desk now, and has a stretch routine.

Brain injuries suck. They really do take time, and you really don't know the long term effects. I'm sorry this happened to you.

Juicier_Froot · 2017-01-15T04:28:53+00:00

Body fat comes from diet. Muscle comes from exercise.

Watch what you eat. Eat clean and eat appropriate portions for your activity level. MyFitnessPal has been a real helpful app to many.

DeplorableRay · 2017-01-14T01:16:45+00:00

I admire your bravery in bringing this to MPR. I imagine this concern is already noted by your husband. If you really want the best advice, I would go to him about it. He is the only one who will know what "doing enough" means to him.

BobbyPeru · 2017-01-14T03:07:11+00:00

You can lose the weight from diet alone. It's harder, but I've done it myself. You just have to eat very clean - fruits, veggies, stay away from sugars and processed foods... Protein shakes with low sugar.

alphabeta49 · 2017-01-14T04:31:47+00:00

I do this for a living. Pm me. Out of town now but will try to get to you next week.

ford_contour · 2017-01-14T22:36:17+00:00

Paying positive attention to those we love isn't something we do just when we feel "in the mood".

Find new ways to show you care.

Juicier_Froot · 2017-01-14T23:48:20+00:00

Guys are designed to sacrafice for their women. We are designed to suck up bad times.

Show youre making sincere effort to return to normal. Not just effort, drive. The only thing he will Need is the hope for the good times to return, and that you care enough to get there.

I guarantee, you doing physio and coming home exhausted and passing put on the couch? All the reward he needs.

Think of it like an 80s montage.

And if you can find a way for him to contribute to your effort? It gives a man some measure of control, which helps us keep our eye on the prize with good spirits.

Bjs if you want, but its not going to make or break this.

SampsonBrass · 2017-01-16T01:27:35+00:00

6 months out from a severe brain injury. /u/scurvemuch

Juicier_Froot · 2017-01-14T01:06:25+00:00

Probably better to try RedPillWives.

Juicier_Froot · 2017-01-14T01:58:20+00:00

You aren't doing enough.

Trying and being completely objective with review of performance is difficult yet necessary.

You got in a wreck. Why has that changed the little, flirty, slutty things you would do?

Title	Seeking Advice
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	40
Date	January 14, 2017 12:17 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/5nudtj/seeking_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/seeking-advice.199175 https://theredarchive.com/post/199175

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