I don't know if my mate's real

Cyb3rd31ic_Citiz3n · 2023-03-20T17:17:43+00:00

His behaviour seems intentional. Got mates with ADHD and they're not like this. I suspect he is doing these things to have some degree of power over you.

Just don't call him or try speaking to him and see how long it takes for him to contact you.

Sydnaktik · 2023-03-20T16:38:45+00:00

It's about setting boundaries and making sure yours are respected. It's great in theory, incredibly complicated in practice. If you can't figure out how to get him to respect your boundaries then you shouldn't be friends with him.

His behavior seem potentially intentional. So I would also be extremely wary of yoyo behavior where as soon as you start pulling away from him he starts being more respectful. But then when you start trusting him again he goes right back to being disrespectful. Supposedly yoyo behavior is often unintentional especially with people with bpd (which I hear is a common exacerbation of ADD), but personally, I'm skeptical and I don't have the patience for it either way.

Andreomgangen · 2023-03-20T18:12:57+00:00

Taking the piss can be a thing done out of endearment so I can understand the confusion.

As another poster said it comes down to boundaries.

I like to take the piss and have a pretty sardonic/sarcastic personality, My litmus test for myself and others is if someone takes the piss out of me, and I return the favour (being very careful to match their tone) and they get angry, I know they are garbage person.

If on the other hand they laugh and enjoy the ribbing back, then I know I have a good friend I can relax with.

Same goes for me to them, I am very careful not to make fun of people where I notice myself taking offence if they return the favour.

The rude walking by thing is hard to gauge just from your subjective reading of the situation, but unless it's some kind of returning theme, it could just mean that the guy was telling the other person something embarrassing and was embarrassed to see you standing right outside, or it could mean they were talking shit about you and he was embarrassed to see you standing there. It's impossible for any of us to make anything but wild speculation based just upon a few sentences of your subjective reading.

If it's a returning theme the guy is not being a good friend, and you have to make a judgement call on how badly you want to maintain the friendship. Iow Is it worth expending the energy to ask him why he dies it and explain how it makes you feel.

Agent0061 · 2023-03-20T16:15:08+00:00

Definitely need to get a new friend, if he's real and you explain your thoughts and he wont change then there's nothing much you can do.

Title	I don't know if my mate's real
Author	KingBacon42069
Upvotes	12
Comments	8
Date	March 20, 2023 3:37 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MenSupportMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensupportmen/comments/11wm1u6/i_dont_know_if_my_mates_real/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MenSupportMen/i-dont-know-if-my-mates-real.1186952 https://theredarchive.com/post/1186952

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