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Inconsiderate roommates

December 28, 2022

I'm currently staying at my Uni Dorm and am sharing the place with two other guys. One of the guys is fine but the other guy...

So context, I'm a very light sleeper, so if there's a significant amount of light and sound in the room, I cannot sleep.

So my sleep schedule is virtually non-existent, I try to wake up at 6 , to get a head start for the day but cannot as this guy *begins* talking to people over a call at 11pm, no time before , everyday 11pm onwards he starts talking on the phone and loudly. I continuously request him to take the call outside the room if it's after 11 as he has the *entire day* to talk to people and I'm never in the room except when it's too sleep and i need sleep, yet he still does.

I don't think i can handle this anymore, what do I do?

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Post Information
Title Inconsiderate roommates
Author KingBacon42069
Upvotes 16
Comments 6
Date December 28, 2022 4:52 AM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit /r/MenSupportMen
Archive Link
Original Link

[–]McBoom0 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Move out or ear plug.

If talking to him won't help then he won't change. Don't waste time. If you feel that it's more troublesome then work with your nice roommate to see if a rule can be established

[–]KingBacon42069[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I might not go for an earplug, would it be possible to be unaware of your alarms with plugs in? If not, I'll try them out.

As I mentioned, the second guy and I are mutually understandable. I love that guy, but he hates confronting, he's a yes guy, so he doesn't stand up against the third guy. So at this point it's just him and me. I'll try to make him understand and worse comes to worse, I shift.

[–]McBoom0 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Never try never know. Buy those m3 orange foam ones as a start. That won't close off totally( better too to avoid pressure buildup)

Yea your friend is the easy going guy and you have one guy that doesn't know boundary. Setting up a rule that no conversations after 12am or something like that is a good start. Tell the douche he's a good roommate but pls have rule so that we all can live in harmony. And share what is the consequences is a good start. Not to threaten but to have consequences.

[–]VeryNovemberous 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sucks dude, sorry about that. How does your other roomie feel about it?

I'd start looking into the process of switching rooms. It shouldn't be your first option but may have to be your last one, and you'll want to be prepared for it. Be mindful that your next roomie might be just as bad or even worse, so you're best off trying to fix the situation you're in.

I'd try to sit down and talk with him about it during the day time. You're just going to have to be really direct and assertive. See if your other roomie will weigh in as well. I can't imagine it doesn't drive him nuts too.

Do ask him if there's a reason he's doing it--ex, maybe the person he's talking to doesn't get off work until then and they really don't have other times to talk during the day. In that case, he still needs to go outside, but try to empathize with him.

Then if he starts up again, well, I guess it just depends on how assertive you are. You could just immediately go and talk with him about it. "Hey, we talked about this, and you agreed to stop." Don't leave him alone until he leaves or stops. You could try to be loud enough that whoever he's talking to can hear you. You could team up with your other roomie. All of this is kind of situational.

Alternatively, look into noise canceling ear muffs for sleeping and turn a box fan on "high" for white noise.

You could also try to talk with the RA and see if there are rules about quiet hours or if they have other guidance to offer. You've already asked directly him to stop, so it's okay to do this now, but I would still do one last daytime discussion first if you have stomach for it.

[–]Arguesovereverythin 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

So you have a TA? I would ask them to help mediate. Maybe there are others that have the same issue and you could all swap rooms.

[–]surrealstrength 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've lived with the same situation and I know how you feel. Sleep is very crucial especially when you're a student. If he isn't listening to you and if your other roomie isn't standing up to him, it's better to switch rooms or move out because you're gonna have to deal with this every night, and that will take a toll on you. Confronting him could be of no use as well. Perhaps complaining to the warden could help?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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