A question to everyone here...

Imnotmrabut · 2018-06-13T22:18:16+00:00

I was drawn to the dark side in the 1980s as a result of advocacy on men's health and HIV in and out of the G.A.Y. community. The inequality of what Chomsky called worthy victims was an eye opener. Every time you looked to promote equality you had sentimental feminism skewing reality, resources and MEDIA.

majortom22 · 2018-06-13T23:56:15+00:00

Same as theothermod. I realized as a child that the narrative was bullshit and even contradictory to truth. It was blatantly obvious.

I was one of those kids that was almost like an adult in a kid's body. So it wasn't because of my own behavior incurring it, but for example I quickly realized girls were better liked than boys. And that boys were not thought of as girls are.

Girls are: princesses, goddesses, better at all the 'human' things than men, anything you can do I can do better, you go girl, sugar spice and everything nice.

If one thinks little boys dont notice or care ask yourself why. To think they dont notice and that it doesn't influence them as they grow up is something one who doesn't think men are human would. The very word 'woman' and its usage has taken on new, added meaning in recent years. "Woman" has now come to imbue this ethereal, "higher" meaning than just adult human female. Now its almost synonymous with Human Plus.

Truly, from the bottom of my heart, I dont see how anyone can not see this clearly as they survey the landscape.

helpwanted911 · 2018-06-13T22:45:12+00:00

I think I stumbled across the documentary, "The Red Pill," on the documentary subreddit. It really made me look critically at a lot of things I hadn't even thought about before. And in the aftermath of that, when I started to ask related questions of my peers, their blanket hostility really made me perk up; anytime you can't even ask questions about something or request evidence, it's worth checking to see if there might be something going on.

theothermod · 2018-06-13T22:52:35+00:00

Ever since I was five years of age, I noticed that girls were treated differently than boys. I thought that this was unfair.

In the late 1980s I found soc.men and alt.feminism on USENET. From then I was lost to the Dark Side.

Allblacksworldchamps · 2018-06-14T23:01:58+00:00

TL;DR Wife got me into it, but I didn't go too far in.

I'll preface this by saying I don't regularly check into mens rights. I did look into the issues and did a few research projects during my last stint at university, finding for the most part that the MR narrative was far more accurate (by not having a ideology or political movement behind it). However I found that depending on the area MR issues were often less advertised, and generally not advertised as male specific. In those areas where this was not the case I found (like most activism) that one can become angry and negative. And given my location there is not really a MR presence, but several "area experts" who are aware of the issues, and aware that to gender them creates a backlash (eg teachers and parents concerned with male performance)

My first real thoughts on the issue came with my first university contact (psychology). It never sat that well with me that a university could have "feminist researchers". Sure they can could be useful raising issues, and asking questions for consideration. But then it should be the real researchers that investigate the claims. I was astounded that anyone could approach a subject saying I'm a biased researcher, take us seriously and give us a job. While I appreciated the postmodernist view that there were multiple angles looking at the same truth, I could never accept that there were multiple truths, or socially/politically agreed truths, which kinda defeated the definition of truth.

But at this time it was not relevant to building a career etc. Looking back every young male I know was sexually harassed (by older women, not men) in the workplace, but had no one to turn to who would listen and so just dealt with it. In spite of this MR and feminism never made it on the radar.

Fast foward to married life. The partner I chose had experienced abuse from both parents, with mum often sending dad/stepdads in for the physical punishment. Her mother was extremely controlling, which I only saw later, and her fathers, she felt, would abandon her, which may have been partly due to the mother, and partly because her mum choose passive or compliant partners. She came with some behaviors that were abnormal, and major trust issues, but in the early days this covered over by secret alcohol use. Eventually I cut up and paid off her credit card and we both quit alcohol (although it had not got to the alcoholic stage, it was heading there, and we can now enjoy the odd tickle).

When the mask came off, and she was pregnant, she became physically violent, picking fights as I walked in the door. I was usually able to bear hug her and wait until she calmed down. It got to the point that I sat down with a young police officer who spent half an hour talking through, acknowledging what I was dealing with and providing some good advice, but who ultimately had little to offer apart from get your shit in order and leave. A few older women at work were also helping support me through this time. We came to figure out that she was pushing me away, a test if you like, to see if I would abandon her like all the other men in her life, and maybe also because she could finally control the abandonment. Simply know this it became less frequent (but still regular), but also followed by long sessions of coming to understand her experiences growing up.

I did then throw her out, but having a baby it was only supposed to be a two week break. As I said goodbye to her and my son, her mother blew a gasket. I had to say to her "we asked you for some help, how about you help your daughter rather than trying to control her". What I didn't know was as soon as I had arrived the mother had called her local family (while at work) in order to beat me up and make sure I did not interfere with her plans. She had spread around the whole family that I was abusive and controlling (the later because I told my wife to start setting some boundaries with her mum). Fortunately the family she had in our city had been burned and was no longer in contact with her mum, and had met and welcomed me in.

As she arrived at her mums home she was immediately confronted with the court documents to initiate a separation and restraining orders, to prevent me contacting her. I am thankful to this day that my wife did not cave, and did reach out by phone reinforcing that this was a holiday and not a separation. I should also mention that for her first pregnancy she rang her mother first. And her mother suggested and abortion straight away, sent some paper down for her to sign and clinics to go to, and told her not to tell or discuss it with me.

This break lasted six days. The mother was trying to get her to move cities and cut me out completely and take control of her and her baby. Her mother was also keen on her looking for a flat and a job in this other city, still keen to control, but not to take her in or pay for her. She wanted to (as she had previously) set her up with counselling sessions with the mother friend, who no doubt had all the gossip and the mother would attend the sessions. This was the problem with the last set of sessions with the same lady, while the big problems were with her mother, the mother was present and turned it into a bitch session about others with the heroic mother trying her best, while plugging for personal information (ie the dirt she would use later).

After six days, the mother became angry and her sister, upset at the tension and being pulled into a stupid argument over a cake, became violent towards my wife (while holding her baby). The mother immediately called the aunties and her husband back from work (shutting the shop) and a big argument ensued. I had taught her well apparently, about standing your ground, not becoming threatening, remaining calm and trying to let the others vent until they calmed down. But this family was not normal. This approach has worked well in mental health environments, calming stress, preventing escalation and allowing perspective to return. But with this family, and their members feeding off each other, it provoked greater and greater reactions, "until you broke" and would submit. She finally saw first hand what I had been seeing from her. They also kept trying to separate her from her baby as she was unsafe, all the while it was them who were violent and threatening violence. her sister even threatened to get her 6ft5" police officer boyfriend to beat her up. This ended when she got the phone and called me during lunch. I then rang her father, who had already been called (not sure why) and refused to help, so I called her local police station who picked her up and took her to the women's refugee. I got a call from police and then had to drive 9 hours up the country to pick her up.

When she got home she did a serious internet search, along the lines of "how do I stop beating up my boyfriend". She found Karen Straughan, who she binge watched and from there other recommendations. After this we could argue with out it becoming violent, and just as importantly we could go into separate rooms when the argument was going nowhere and she no longer felt like this was the end of the world (ie did not trigger abandonment issues). My wife in now full anti feminist and MRA supportive (if a bit reactionary for my tastes. It was her that introduced me to Warren Farrell for an opinion on his work, and I still say I have never heard anyone speak like him, with a lack of hate, a lack of political distortion and a deep desire for truth, understanding and compassion. From there I took on some of the issues as a research project, and found I the MRA's were generally on the right track, had a convincing and evidence based narrative, but not to assume that there is no help or concern for men as individuals (although it may be lacking because they are men). And not to assume that all countries or locations are the same. I also became less susceptible to the "Klingon" movements such as MGTOW, redpill and pick up artists who are more concerned with clickbait titles, attention and reaction than analysis and understanding.

However I have also found when I look at individual issues often men are their own worst enemy, myself included, and I care more for truth, understanding and appropriate methods than I do about any single issue where I would be prepared to invest my time into becoming an expert. So I call myself MRA friendly now.

LeSpeedBump · 2018-06-13T23:21:20+00:00

I do t remember, but knowing me I probably heard some feminist bullshit and wanted to know more about the “issue” and found out it was BS. I then remember being against feminism for a while cause of the bullshit it spreads and out of nowhere a video comes up called “man responds to 36 questions for men” by I believe a dude called Dr.Shayn in my YouTube recommended. He mentions some issues facing men and I started to get angry by how people ignore this. When I joined reddit a couple months back, I remember my knowledge of men’s issues was growing until I decided to see if there was a Men’s rights subreddit (I believe this was the second subreddit I actually joined). And that’s how I became an MRA.

EDIT: I just remembered how when I was little, I was extremely frustrated with how girls can hit boys and boys can’t hit girls, along with the whole “Ladies first” thing (kinda petty 5 year old shit but hey)

a-man-from-earth · 2018-06-14T06:42:27+00:00

From time to time certain subreddits get vilified by popular opinion. But often when I actually go take a look, it's a decent community with good points (and a few extremists), certainly not toxic overall.

That's how I found this subreddit. It was portrayed as really toxic and misogynistic, but I decided to take a look for myself, and found some very reasonable arguments.

Then Cassie Jaye's Red Pill documentary happened, and I became a regular.

kartu3 · 2018-06-14T07:42:38+00:00

I've heard what's commonly said

Namely?

NerdyWeightLifter · 2018-06-14T10:04:59+00:00

Stumbled on a video by Karen Straughen.

xydroh · 2018-06-14T14:50:11+00:00

the red pill, documentary is a real eye opener

HanginToads · 2018-06-15T08:17:48+00:00

Because when I refused to give up my parental rights to avoid child support so my ex could vanish with my kid, she very easily made me look like a complete deadbeat and destroyed me easily in child support mediation due to bias. I may as well have not even been there.

Because a low income mother can receive a free lawyer in Texas to settle her custody and support case, but Im stuck spending 10-20k on a lawyer with the very, very high probability that I'll still lose unless the mother is a druggy or a criminal. Unless you count every other weekend visitation as winning.

And I'm not the only one.

ReasonItOut · 2018-06-15T15:23:10+00:00

I've heard what's commonly said, yet the narrative doesn't appear to be true

Can you elaborate on this? I may be misinterpreting but it sounds like "I was given answers but it clashes with my perception of reality so rather than debate I've simply discarded the answers I was provided"

Title	A question to everyone here...
Author	Philip8000
Upvotes	3
Comments	28
Date	June 13, 2018 9:44 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/8qwcms/a_question_to_everyone_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/a-question-to-everyone-here.899652 https://theredarchive.com/post/899652

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