All hers.

GoHoMoThrow · 2015-11-30T03:26:58+00:00

Which is why men needn't marry. Ever.

nemoque · 2015-11-29T23:36:36+00:00

I'm not familiar with the UK judicial system, but such things happen all the time in USA courts. In both societies the male is considered guilty, and the legal system is bias against the husband. If misery loves company, know that you are not alone.

TheDude41 · 2015-11-30T04:35:48+00:00

Once again this proves: damseling, chivalry are complete shit.

Your situation is not uncommon. Men, always be recording.

It makes a joke of actual abused people.

You are the actual abused person, sir. These are Nazi gestapo times we live in...

Time to discard the system and replace it with something that embodies justice and equity... I'm so sorry.

blueXcat · 2015-11-30T08:19:18+00:00

I'm a woman and while I was believed when I went to the police, as we had neighbors who called a few times so he was known for problems.

Thing is, he never went to court and he flee to another province so I can't get the 7k he owes me (and forced me to drop a promising career because I couldn't finish university) and he won't get problems for his criminal charges.

He broke my ribs and it's considered not a big enough crime to pay to get him back here.

It's a federal crime but the warrant is provincial.

I was like you, they never told me the steps of the court system. But anyway he never went.

The system is fucked. For victims.

You are the victim, she is the abuser. She is believed by the system. And as you participate, and still want to see your kids, she has everything on her side.

Men can only win if they don't care about their loved ones, like my ex.

Women don't need to flee, they are always the victims in our feminist society.

I don't even have the right not to be a feminist by their standard.

I was abused and I'm still a men's rights activist.

Men didn't abused me. Assholes abused me because I was weak. I worked on that, it was mine to change. Even if what they did was wrong.

But I still got to the accusations against my abuser, which only a man victim can dream about

baserace · 2015-11-30T02:44:05+00:00

Fucking brutal.

ukman39 · 2015-11-30T13:21:17+00:00

I have been through a similar situation as you in the UK court system. Yes the system is unfair to men but the fact is that you are not going to be able to change that. For now you need accept the system is the way it is and concentrate on getting the best outcome you can. Keep your emotions under control, especially don't show any anger or do anything silly out of anger.

This website has good divorce advice for men in the UK. He also has a forum where people can ask questions about the process. http://www.terry.co.uk/men_div.html

Also there is life after divorce. I used to have 2 houses (jointly owned with my ex) and now I have none. I used to see my children every day and now I see them once per week. I have lost a lot but to be honest I am happier now than when I was still with my ex.

niczar · 2015-11-30T12:07:20+00:00

Too late for you, but the lesson for men currently on the receiving end of spousal abuse is to document it. I don't care how illegal it supposedly is in your particular jurisdiction, but the penalty from illegally recording can't be anywhere as bad as that for hitting a woman even if it's not true.

blueoak9 · 2015-11-30T17:10:41+00:00

"She went next door, said I'd hit her and called the police. "

DARVO. It's abuse all by itself.

Geekmonster · 2015-11-29T23:54:54+00:00

I was abused for years. Put through every kind of abuse; yelling, jealousy, rage, silence, blamed for everything and cuckolded. Sat down one day and was utterly broken down and tired. Ignored the wife. Yelling for hours ensued and eventually culminated in her throwing stuff at me and then slapping me with everything she had. I had enough and beat the living shit out of her. In my riled up state I told her if she ever laid a hand on me again I'd fucking break her neck.

Can't believe the mental fortitude some of you have. I totally lost it after all that. It's incredible that it wouldn't even have mattered if I could have managed to avoid that situation. Makes it seem you are fated to end up in prison if you get married to the wrong woman.

muramuramura · 2015-11-30T20:17:40+00:00

Marriage: not even once.

RVallant · 2015-11-30T09:30:31+00:00

Pay it, and this time, get a lawyer, if you can't afford one, look for pro bono services.

You should be getting the property back (or half the value of it) once your child comes of age, I would imagine she got the house on the basis of bringing up the child, if so it isn't a permanent agreement and you haven't/shouldn't have lost your stake in the home.

Usually, the courts - especially the Family Courts are supposed to be providing you information as to what everything is. It is strange that you would get to the court stage without knowing exactly what the purpose of going to court is...

Alkomb · 2015-11-30T10:02:02+00:00

You threw your abusive wife out, & she lied about abuse? Wow. Not surprised, sorry.:\

& you lost the house? I don't know what to say, sorry. I can't trust other women.

splodgenessabounds · 2015-11-30T10:39:27+00:00

Get a solicitor/ land shark who does pro bono work and see if you can appeal (NB I have NFI about family courts in the UK so I may be talking out of my arse). Also, get in touch with any organisations, websites and whatnot who work for the rights of fathers and at least get their support. Forget the money - focus on your love for your son and his for you. Best of luck.

newharddrive · 2015-11-30T11:55:47+00:00

You may not understand me, but I recommend that you move to some country where the UK can't touch you legally, and start a new life.

MagnusCallicles · 2015-11-30T01:53:51+00:00

Mate, it sure seems like you should have put in more research in this.

Deansdale · 2015-11-30T09:26:48+00:00

There's not much you can do at this point, going to the courts to modify the decision will probably get you nowhere, you'd just lose more money in the process. So you either accept things as they are, which means soaking up the injury, the added insult, and even taking the blame for all of it - or you do something unexpected. Sometimes I think about what I would do in such a situation and the most probable path I would take is to leave the country without a trace and start a new life somewhere else. To hell with alimony, child support and the woman who robbed you of both your family and your life's work.

Title	All hers.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	52
Comments	23
Date	November 29, 2015 11:08 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/3urunv/all_hers/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/all-hers.966092 https://theredarchive.com/post/966092

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