Avoiding the truth about hypergamy

3-10 · 2022-02-15T14:36:19+00:00

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WhereProgressIsMade · 2022-02-15T16:57:39+00:00

growing sexlessness among America’s 20-somethings is primarily attributable to partnering up later in life.

This theory from the linked article doesn’t explain how the # of sexless young men could be so much larger than women.

A model that better fits all their data is that polyamory is increasing where the most desireable young men maintain soft harems leaving a growing number of men with none.

CawlinAlcarz · 2022-02-15T19:17:01+00:00

No surprises here.

The plain truth is that men in this age group are basically gun-shy and have been ACTIVELY discouraged from any sort of assertiveness or actual achievement and indeed from "maleness" itself by the educational institutions for their entire lives.

Ironically, these are the very things about males that still attract females (in the aggregate). Women aren't as attracted to a physically very handsome man as men are to a physically attractive woman. They ARE attracted to a confident, financially successful, high status man.

Part of the conditioning males have faced for the past 20 or more years includes them being relegated to passivity in terms of sexual congress. A male who very reasonably asks a female out for a date is faced with a possible spectrum of results. The wildly successful end of the spectrum is that he gets the female to agree to a date with him. OK great... on the OTHER end of the spectrum, he may be defending against harrassment charges carried out with the institutional assertion that harrassment is tantamount to actual sexual assault, and thus bringing with it the potential to lose his reputation, job, or even his freedom.

That's a hell of a fucking risk to go out on a date, which still might wind up at the awful end of the spectrum that just asking for the date itself opened up as a possibility.

As a Gen-Xer, my 20s were the 90s, and I lived trough some of this sort of craziness in the workplace. The Clinton-Lewinsky scandal actually took some of the wind out of the feminazi agenda for a few years and pushed their timeline back a good bit.

Anyway, I have to admit it's difficult to blame these young men for their behavior when I see what sort of "guidance" (derision and discouragement) they have received and the sort of minefields they're left to navigate.

AcidKritana · 2022-02-16T00:39:07+00:00

I would believe that gay boys of the same age are more likely than straight boys to have sex, but merely because of how guys get treated by female sex partners. I've noticed this in my own classmates - many of the guys are worried about false accusations, rape by women against men, spermjacking, etc. In fact, many will say that guys have it worse than women. My own male friend told me this - I think he was testing me to see if I agreed or not with the statement, though it was obvious that he also believed it - and I agreed, of course. He probably told me that because I'm a trans dude, so he was testing my beliefs. Well, even if he had asked me when I was 8 I would have said yes. I've always been an MRA, and I wasn't raised one, either.

WhereProgressIsMade · 2022-02-15T21:03:21+00:00

I played around with the ok Cupid data that was used in the video. The attraction scale is a little goofy: there are seven levels so I’ll refer to them as 1 (least attractive) to 7 (most attractive) even though they’re labeled 0 to 5.

If the number of males and females are roughly equal and we try to pair off as many as possible with the rule that the woman should not have an attractiveness score higher than the man, some interesting things happen.

All male 7s, 6s, 5s, and 4s, can match with a woman of the same score since there are more women with each of those scores than men. 93% of the female 7s are leftover, unable to be matched to a male 7s because there aren’t enough to go around. 89% for female 6s, 74% for 5s and 35% of 4s. All of the male 3s can be matched to either a female 3 or 2. For the male 1s and 2s, there aren’t enough females so a large chunk of them become leftover. 45% of male 2s and 100% of male 1s (since the male 2s took all the female 1s).

Just hypothetical of course since the real world is more complicated. Rather than refusing to settle, many women date down and then later divorce for example. Still it sheds light on all the complaints attractive women have about not being able to find a “good man” with data.

WhereProgressIsMade · 2022-02-15T23:54:26+00:00

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nevermock · 2022-02-15T17:02:54+00:00

I like to call it hypogamy, or the propensity of men to marry down.

killcat · 2022-02-15T18:15:04+00:00

As I recall they didn't break the numbers down by sex.

delocalelectron · 2022-02-16T10:27:43+00:00

When dating, women won't even look at you unless your employment and earning prospects are in a higher league to their own. I don't believe this was ever any different, even back in the 1950s, when traditional marriages were the norm. What has changed is 'affirmative action' and 'equal employment opportunities.' Sadly, this is often used by the weak management of 'progressive' companies to build up docile teams, and an ever more compliant middle management strata of females. Anyway, it's a fact that traditional male, manufacturing jobs (shipbuilding, auto industries) are disappearing in the west, which has become dominated by service industries. The residual male employment areas are seen as 'low status' by an 'empowered' administrative sisterhood. Now, here's what happens, as described in 'The Rise of Men' by Manhood Sh*tty Sh*t, page 12 : When a wife starts to out-earn her husband, her most basic and primal instincts will slowly begin to howl at her like a pack of primal beasts. Her man does not have the resources to buy her ovaries any longer. Her husband may have lost his job, or perhaps she got a promotion and is now out-earning him. Whatever the case may be, what is truly important is that her sexual market value has now become higher than that of her husband. And now she feels threatened. She will question the validity of their relationship. Did she make the right choice? She could certainly do better. If she can out-earn him, then he doesn't deserve her... right? I had the opportunity to watch this happening in the workplace through the late 1990s and early 2000s. Promoting women beyond their capabilities was already causing chaos and not just for the unfortunate, hard-working men who were leap-frogged. These women usually abandoned their marriages within months, to concentrate on the employment relationships which had often 'earned' them their promotions. They'd do it even when they had kids! No problem in abandoning children which have been sired by a 'beta' male, if there's a better deal on the table. (Although, the prognosis wasn't good in such cases - guilt often got the better of them eventually). The genie is out of the bottle, though. Woman is power, status and money hungry.... just as she always was. But now she has been encouraged to believe that the sky's the limit, and societal norms are making men even MORE disposable than ever.

delocalelectron · 2022-02-16T11:49:07+00:00

Songs can often afford a glimpse of romantic relationships from the lady's point of view, times past. First up, Clyde McPhatter from 1954, with 'Money Honey' [later covered by the Sensational Alex Harvey Band]

Tell me lady, face to face, how could another man take my place?

She said "Money, honey!.... if you want to get along with me.'

The next one's even better.... Gwen Guthrie, with 'Aint Nothin' Goin' On But the Rent' (1986)

Cause ain't nothin' goin' on but the rent

You gotta have a J-O-B if you wanna be with me

No romance without finance

Boy, your silky ways are sweet

But we're only wastin' time if your pockets are empty

I've got lots of love to give

But I will avoid you if you're unemployed.

Let's face it. Affirmative Action, Equal Employment Opportunity legislation, the loss of traditional male jobs and a Welfare system tailored to supporting women don't exactly place men in a strong negotiating position. Happy Valentine's Day!

we_wuz_kangz_420 · 2022-02-16T07:04:36+00:00

They need to cope because it's against the narrative to admit looks matter. I fully believe in hypergamy and have maximized my looks to overcome it but i don't converse about it to anyone except my close friends. No need to ostracize myself from normies who would have a lesser opinion of me but that's fine as the more men who turn a blind eye to this and cope the easier it will be for guys like who me who need to play the dating strategy with maximizing my looks and manipulation tactics. Don't hate the player hate the game.

Choe_Ryong_Hae · 2022-02-15T21:43:06+00:00

Is this entirely based on attraction? The 50s lifestyle of getting married at 22 and having 6 kids is not as popular for economic, cultural, and political reasons.

There are also well documented evolutionary biological reasons, also observed in many animals, that such a "gender attraction differential" is beneficial. I don't remember the findings exactly and am not going to go searching for this, but the gist is that having a child incurs significantly more risk and sacrifice for female rather than male animals for obvious reasons, and as such, seek to maximize the "quality" of the offspring by finding the optimal males. This view is much too animalistic given human intelligence and sexuality, but it's relevant context. Humans are just intelligent animals if you think about it, which means we think too much for our own good and are railing against the evolution that got us here. Similar things are discussed in the abstract of the paper in the video description.

I struggle to find why this is a men's rights issue uniquely. Isn't the dating app and general self-perception pressure brought on by social media a societal and psychological issue? This extends far beyond the theory you put forward. Finally, dating apps are businesses and don't care about whether you find your true love as long as they get money off of you for using the app. They match people into shallow relationships where both people look good but have a combined IQ of 160, or one of them is so much smarter than the other that they are functionally incompatible for a relationship. Look into how people met in the 90s and 00s and then compare it to now and there are clearly major differences. I'd like to see statistics on this stuff from outside the West.

Title	Avoiding the truth about hypergamy
Author	StraightGangstaHack
Upvotes	96
Comments	48
Date	February 15, 2022 2:29 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/st46lj/avoiding_the_truth_about_hypergamy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/avoiding-the-truth-about-hypergamy.1102176 https://theredarchive.com/post/1102176

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