Avoiding Victim Mindsets

Aardwolfington · 2023-02-11T19:16:40+00:00

You can abandon your parents, you can make new friends, you can learn to be happy with being single. What you cannot do is divorce yourself from society and it's oppression, the only way to do that is to actively work to change and fix it.

ShinySahil · 2023-02-12T06:13:09+00:00

r/thanksimcured

ImNotAPersonAnymore · 2023-02-12T16:01:24+00:00

If you’re legitimately a victim then it’s healthy to share your story and get support from friends, family, and community.

Just don’t keep repeating your story more than a few times lest you trap yourself in victimhood.

Fightdevil · 2023-02-11T19:05:58+00:00

Men have literally no rights, men have worked there ass out to take the society here, and society is treating men bad than dogs. Why should we keep quiet. Society has taken advantage of mens inablity to express feeling.

g1455ofwater · 2023-02-12T00:29:36+00:00

Ok give me $10,000 dollars every month and don't complain about it because that would be the "victim mindset" you are against.

Put your money where you mouth is and show us with your actions and not your words.

EmirikolWoker · 2023-02-11T18:59:59+00:00

I notice you missed the "I'm oppressed" example for reframing. Perhaps because men are in a class that have objectively fewer legal rights, so it's harder to pretend that isn't happening?

DefinitelyDeadd · 2023-02-12T06:45:28+00:00

Be careful. Reddit loves to hang onto their grudges and dwell on the past.

PotentialPay1795 · 2023-02-11T20:50:29+00:00

I like this Sub and want to encourage men to be men. I see a lot of blame going at women and agree that 3rd wave feminism is mostly about man hating.

But damned if I will be a victim. I will be happy, I will be masculine, and I will not blame a woman or let a society or anyone stand in my way.

63daddy · 2023-02-11T21:01:49+00:00

As a prominent women CEO once indicated: a victim mentality never helped anyone succeed. She was addressing the victim mentality feminism pushes on women but I think the same applies to men.

Certainly men face many forms of discrimination these days. We certainly should identify and seek to reduce this discrimination.

However: Life is unfair. Life has risks. Assessing these risks and deciding how to proceed is much more productive than wallowing in a victim mentality. Marriage and divorce laws typically advantage women for example. So recognize this, assess this and make an informed decision on whether the benefits of marriage justify this bias or not.

ApprehensiveMail8 · 2023-02-12T17:54:55+00:00

Generally agree but this is the worst place for this message.

Victim mentality is everywhere in modern society and men (particularly straight, white , cisgender, middle or upper class men) are the only group being regularly taught not to indulge in this.

At some point agentic thinking crosses over from holding yourself accountable for your own feelings and meeting your own needs, to holding yourself accountable for OTHER people's feelings and trying to meet their needs for them.

That's also a problem.

UnconventionalXY · 2023-02-12T01:30:01+00:00

It's extremist thinking and its generally not true:

Parents may have messed you up in the past, but your future as an adult is in your hands.

Your ex didn't destroy your entire life: you are still alive with the remainder of your life to improve it.

You haven't approached everybody to be able to say nobody likes you and liking is a 2-way street, so its harder to manage than something involving only one person. We often like things we have in common, so start engaging with others with common interests and you might find someone you like and who likes you.

You may be oppressed in some aspect of your life, but not all: there may be options to remove yourself from those oppressive aspects and develop better ones to replace them.

Realise that your situation isn't the end of the world, you still have many options open to you, but you have to explore them, they won't find you, sitting on your arse, playing the victim.

Yes, I know its a pain not to have your life handed to you on a silver platter, just as you want it. Even the Queen of England, whilst she was alive, had her own challenges despite her huge wealth, importance and silver platters.

PhotographWitty7705 · 2023-02-11T22:44:17+00:00

I agree with this but i will damn sure be calling these stupid bitches out, i dont care how many time the absolute mongrels that run reddit try and cancel and delete me. Just makes me more and more detirmined with each ban.

Why do these clowns bother banning people, like they think theyre actually banning anyone, just pathetic little control freaks, a fools endeavour trying to control what people say. The internet doesnt need idiotic rules made by some utterly pathetic mod or admin, control freak morons

I dont change, i carry on like nothing happened. CONTROL FREAKS. YOU HAVE NO POWER.

thedeadllama · 2023-02-11T22:01:10+00:00

Victim fetish is a real thing There is a social reward for being victimized or having a victim midset and I believe that social reward is the root of a lot of problems

Different_Weekend817 · 2023-02-11T22:41:40+00:00

i agree. absolutely useless to focus on being a victim to circumstance or things that happened in the past; you can only play the cards you are dealt with - hence, acknowledge the present and make a plan going forward.

Nobody likes you? Reframe to "I don't think anybody like me right now. But I'm learning how to make friends"

disagree with this tho. i don't give a fuck if anyone likes me.

redTanto · 2023-02-12T03:27:41+00:00

Cause trust issues are so easy to overcome...

Title	Avoiding Victim Mindsets
Author	Plutarcane
Upvotes	52
Comments	68
Date	February 11, 2023 6:49 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/10zusvg/avoiding_victim_mindsets/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/avoiding-victim-mindsets.1151962 https://theredarchive.com/post/1151962

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