There are a few us among these ranks who do still believe in the sanctity of marriage. To those among us who haven't given up all hope and still wish to be a husband, you need to ask yourself a series of questions about the woman you're with before popping the question:

  1. What does she bring of tangible value or benefit to my life?

  2. Am I at ease and at peace when she is around?

  3. Is the basis of our social interactions focused on shared interests or just HER interests?

  4. Has my finances become harder to manage since dating her?

  5. Has she shown interest or concern in my emotional well being?

If the answer isn't "yes" to all 5 of those questions...SHE AIN'T WIFEY MATERIAL, KING. Tuck her away in the "recreational use only" category and find you a more suitable gal. Vet these women to the most stringent of degrees, fellas. You're literal life depends on it.