Equality is ugly.

"Don't worry, I'll pay for dinner," he says, smiling. "You can get the drinks later." You ignore that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach and smile back. After all, it's only fair. He did pay for dinner. You're a feminist. You're financially independent. You don't need to rely on a man, and you don't want him to think you're all take and no give. Relationships are supposed to be an equal partnership.

Ladies, you're missing the wood for the trees. While you're quibbling about ideas of 'fairness', you're overlooking the crucial question:

What kind of man performs an act of generosity then turns round and demands something in return?

A man to whom your happiness is not the priority.

Men with a 50-50 mindset are obsessed with 'fairness'. Every act is recorded on a balance sheet in his head in a series of gives and takes. He is forever conscious of what he is owed. No act of generosity or kindness is freely given. It is done on the condition that he will 'get' something in return. His buying you dinner is a superficial, empty gesture, because the whole time he is waiting to get paid his 'due' further down the line.

HVM who pay for dates do so without the expectation of anything in return. Your sincere gratitude, your warm thanks and the smile on your face are all the reward he needs. That's because to him, your happiness is the most important thing. Not when you're going to replace the contents of his wallet. He takes pleasure in your appreciation and won't hold an act of generosity over your head like the sword of Damocles, and he certainly won't make you feel obligated to him because he voluntarily did something nice for you.

When you thank a 50-50 man for paying for dinner, he doesn't care. When you smile at him with appreciation in your eyes, he doesn't care. 50-50 men don't value your thanks or appreciation for a kind gesture, because they don't understand generosity. They know that they're 'supposed' to pay for dinner, but they fail to understand why. Your acknowledgement of a kindness doesn't mean shit to them because they don't value making you happy.

For 50-50 men, everything they do for you is conditional. Nothing is given from a place of love, kindness or generosity. Everything circles back to him and what 'payment' he will get in return for his acts of service. They are, at their core, selfish individuals. Your entire relationship will play on a continuous loop of 'I did x so you must do y'. This cold, clinical mindset reduces a relationship that should be built on love to nothing more than a business transaction. There is no warmth, no passion, no selflessness. And it's exhausting.

When a man expects you to go 50-50 on dates, this is what he's offering you. Think very carefully and decide if this is the relationship you really want.