Help! Reddit! My husband needs it!

ragingpineapple · 2013-08-07T09:24:21+00:00

Child support and custody are separate matters. Failure to pay support does not allow her to refuse contact anymore than failure to provide visitation allows your SO to avoid paying support. So you will likely have to file two motions; one motion to show cause for the failure to comply with the court ordered visitation, and one petition to modify support. Both will require you to be prepared with documentation and proof. Have them heard on separate dates.

If she won't let him see the daughter, take the police and insist that they enforce the court order. If they say that they can't or won't for any reason, for example the visitation is overly broad and doesn't specify dates or times, then get a civilian copy of the report from the police stating the nature of the call and the resolution. Take that to court when you go in for the visitation. If he texts her about the visitation and she denies visitation, bring copies of those in as well. If you're in a single consent state and he records her denying him visitation, take that as well. Keep a log of all attempts to visit with the child and bring it in. You need to show a pattern of non-compliance, because if the court asks her why and she can argue that it was just a one-time hiccup due to circumstance, or that it stems from a miscommunication a year ago, then they're unlikely to hold her in contempt of the order. Do not argue with her or act in any way that could be construed as aggressive or dangerous. Assume that she herself has and will continue to document all contact with your SO.

Need to explain why and how he lost his job, so as not to make it seem as though he willingly left and became willingly unemployed. Also need to show that he's actively looking for a similar job, because even if he finds work if it pays significantly less than his previous job, she can argue that he's willingly underemployed and the support amount will not change. If he files now, and since family courts are usually swamped and unable to hear cases until further out, and is able to get a job before the hearing all the better. Remember, the burden is on her to prove his income, and on him to prove hers. Don't do her job for her, and assume that if she has an attorney she won't be doing your SO's job, either. If he can't pay the full amount it might behoove him to pay what he can. It won't change whether he did or did not follow the support order, but once it's time for the court to decide how to come down on him for it, it might make a difference on whether they're strict or lenient with him.

Law libraries, law departments at your local law school or university, legal aid services, Google-fu, are all your friends. You can call up a law school and ask them if they want to help take on a case. Some will do that, some won't. Worth it to ask. Searching online for all relevant statutes in your state and familiarizing yourself is imperative if you're doing all this pro se. When finding cases online you want the most similar to your own, in your jurisdiction (be it state or county), and as recent as you can find. Court employees cannot legally help you so don't bother asking them. Actually nobody can give you "legal advice" who isn't an attorney, and no attorney should be giving you legal advice unless they're representing you. Insert disclaimer that nothing I've said should be construed as legal advice bla bla bla. Many places will have legal aid services for poor or at risk people, but usually there's only one service in any given area. What that means is that if the mother's already utilized that service now or in the past, that your SO won't be able to use them due to a conflict of interest. So if such a service exists, and the mother has not used it, it's in his best interest to get in on that before she does.

giegerwasright · 2013-08-07T08:21:32+00:00

There are lawyers who will work on spec. You're going to need one. People on this sub can help you by sharing their experiences and their opinions, but nobody here will be as helpful as a legal professional. Nobody here will be able to solve this problem for you. Do the legwork, you clearly have the internet, find a lawyer that will work pro bono and let us know how it all turns out.

Protip: Put the kid's best interests first. Always.

2013-08-07T13:19:50+00:00

Well I face the same thing.

First, immediately contact the county clerk in the court that issued his child support order, there is almost always a way to reduce his child support in cases of unemployment.

For the visitation. .. good luck. I have spent over 100k in legal fees trying to get visitations with my kids enforced over the past 3 years.

Crimson_D82 · 2013-08-07T09:37:43+00:00

Flee the country.

rightsbot · 2013-08-07T06:46:17+00:00

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pearloz · 2013-08-07T17:19:18+00:00

These are two separate issues. Refused court-ordered visitation: he could file for contempt of court. Inability to pay child support: he could file to reduce child support payments. Two separate actions on the same case, would probably be seen by a judge at the same time and decided simultaneously.

At least in WI you could file these on your own, no lawyer needed. The same form that allows you request a reduction in child support payments allows you to petition the court for a change in placement and custody.

onetimeuser111 · 2013-08-12T19:11:32+00:00

In my state the police do get involved and enforce visitation. How exactly does the mom withold visitation? Does the father go to pick up the child and the mom just refuse to bring the child out or what? It should be very clear in your parenting plan, if not ask the court for clarification, then call police when mother does not cooperate.

Automanon · 2013-08-07T13:21:34+00:00

And the mommy tax strikes again.

6inchpianist · 2013-08-07T15:24:23+00:00

I know that failing to pay child support gets people into trouble of the "contempt of court" variety. Does failure to provide visitation yield similar results for the offender?

theskepticalidealist · 2013-08-07T16:05:24+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Help! Reddit! My husband needs it!
Author	kmamrsr
Upvotes	119
Comments	31
Date	August 7, 2013 6:45 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1jvacg/help_reddit_my_husband_needs_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/help-reddit-my-husband-needs-it.1166993 https://theredarchive.com/post/1166993

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