Is there something wrong with being very sensitive as a man?

Individual_Milk4559 · 2024-11-22T00:51:40+00:00

I’m the same of you, and instinctively say no, there’s nothing wrong with it. But I bet you’ve had experiences like me, where kindness is taken For weakness, and people will take advantage of us for being sensitive, so maybe the world isn’t set up for people like us unfortunately.

I have to believe one day, people like us will find a place that accepts us and appreciates how positive being ‘soft’ (as you pointed out, a lot of people see sensitivity as being soft) can be. But I’ve not found that place yet

DapperDan1929 · 2024-11-22T00:56:16+00:00

Oh yeah. I’m the exact same. American women and American manly men look down upon guys like us. Sad truth. I’ve accepted it. I love my weird little life

BuckandShilo · 2024-11-22T02:47:46+00:00

Most females will give you lip service. Put their arm around you, act supportive, and then immediately in their mind and physically later shove you into the friend zone.. They’ll say they want you to open up, but they are lying.

ConsiderationSea1347 · 2024-11-22T01:55:26+00:00

Some of the most influential men in history have been lithe, intellectuals dreaming about life and meaning. Don’t let people tell you masculinity is only muscle and blood. Shakespeare, Joyce, Yeats, Byron, Rilke, Lao Tse, Martin Luther King, Jung, Jesus, Marcus Aurelius, etc. Your way of being masculine is the path many of the most famous men in history followed. Own it and never let someone gatekeep masculinity.

Frird2008 · 2024-11-22T00:58:30+00:00

If they have a problem with us showing our sensitivity (when appropriate of course), it's them who need to do the healing to tackle the root of why our sensitivity is affecting them so much.

whatafoolishsquid · 2024-11-22T06:20:59+00:00

As a man, you will be shamed for being sensitive and shamed for being insensitive. You can't win.

IronyAllAround · 2024-11-22T04:12:36+00:00

No, you’re fine being you.

Hunder_YT · 2024-11-22T06:05:43+00:00

As much as it is preached that men should show more emotions, in reality most people don't really want that

MushroomTOBI · 2024-11-22T08:59:48+00:00

Don’t listen to such crap I’m a very emotional melancholic guy myself and there are other people out there just like your ex girlfriend who support and admire you for it. Keep up being yourself

Suddenly_Sisyphus42 · 2024-11-22T01:15:35+00:00

There's nothing wrong with being sensitive as a man. Society just demonizes anyone who deviates from their bullshit expectations.

TaskComfortable6953 · 2024-11-22T02:13:25+00:00

gender norms hurt us, the fact that people can tell us to man up (and it's so normalized) is one of the most most fucked forms of misandry on a social level that i can think of

SidewaysGiraffe · 2024-11-22T03:18:16+00:00

No- but many people will disapprove, and disapprove of you in both romantic and platonic contexts.

Screw 'em, though; be what you are. Like the man said, "Brave men are all vertebrates; they have their softness on the surface and their toughness in the middle.".

Vegetable_Ad1732 · 2024-11-22T04:05:32+00:00

NOT A DAMN THING. And anyone who disagrees can kiss my ass. Wait, was that me being insensitive? 😎

roomthree04 · 2024-11-22T01:05:08+00:00

The world isn't exactly set up for men like us. What helped me was understanding, from a very clinical scientific point of view, why they are the way that they are. e.g. Evolutionary biology etc. etc. This helps me understand them easier by seeing through the bullshit social facade (e.g. women want equality except when it comes to relationships with men, because men are still expected to lead and take charge and take control etc.)

Weak_Working8840 · 2024-11-22T05:12:03+00:00

It's totally normal as a youth tbh. At 24 the world is in fact overwhelming.

I'd say it's also a product of a soft world. If you were dealing with the cold hard realities of a third world country, you'd be more hardened and desensitized.

I would say a good goal, however, is to grow out if it as best you can.

I grew out of it and life's been easier since.

HerrMitzerschmidt · 2024-11-22T14:38:13+00:00

I think you’re great. Traditional masculinity is fine to a point, but parts of it are ugly and dehumanizing. Encouraging the ability to have control of your emotions is fine, because it can be useful (more women should learn it), but shaming them, and calling them unmanly, is bullshit. Having emotions is a generally good and essential part of humanity, and men who deny them too much are just stunting their own full humanity. Men should feel free to express themselves: it’s part of being better people to each other.

okliman · 2024-11-22T18:43:42+00:00

Is there a reason to be manly, to hide feelings? I mean.... Pockerplay has it's own benefits, but such sensitivity I think is great!

Have no idea what to say... But I think they are just missing out and jealous....

Hm... Have you tried some acting related stuff? Like role-playing? Being dungeon master or smtg? Love that things... Also great in terms of search of yourself(if dm is not an ass)

SadSorrySackOShip · 2024-11-22T02:56:31+00:00

Men and women are both beseeched to conceal / suppress their humanity under bourgeois dictatorship. The current ruling class wants you to be a machine for labor and warfare. If you were a female it'd be similar but you'd also be counted upon to be a breeding machine. We potential breeders thus receive mixed messages, because being a parent requires tenderness and attention when the capitalist would rather we invest all our energy into making them profits. They want all of us, men and women alike, to just be a species of self-perpetuating worker bees.

Stay sensitive, but also stay alert my friend!

MrNimbus_81 · 2024-11-22T01:58:26+00:00

As others have mentioned, no there is absolutely nothing wrong with being sensitive. That being said, it will do you well to remember the world is a nasty and harsh place full of those who will see your sensitivity as “weakness” and try to use that to their advantage. Stay you but proceed with caution.

IceCorrect · 2024-11-22T05:07:14+00:00

As a man you are on your own and it's hard to be one when you don't take what you want.

It's same for relationship.

It's nothing wrong, but it's really hard

Miserable_Arugula_75 · 2024-11-22T10:19:06+00:00

I have also a sensitive side, and no there is nothing wrong with it. But showing it openly can make dating much harder. I still can see the disgust my ex showed in her face when she saw me vulerable and crying. There are women wjo will like this side of you, but there are not that many and you will have it easier to just get harder. In my experience.

mrkpxx · 2024-11-22T10:45:23+00:00

You have emotions, you are not your emotions. It is impossible to talk to someone who is guided by their emotions.

skcuf2 · 2024-11-22T13:10:43+00:00

Put a shell over your sensitive insides. People don't tell you to 'man up' because they don't want to be around you. They're telling you things like this because society only respects men that are seen as strong. Believing anything else is going to make you look a fool. Don't believe the bullshit propaganda that men can be soft and still get ahead because you'll get run over by men who realize this is bullshit.

It's better to be a Samurai in a field than a farmer in a battle. Be strong, but restrain yourself to act gentle. You're not a gentleman if you're just a gentle being. You're only a gentleman if you're capable of being dangerous. Be nice, show sensitivity, but always be prepared to defend yourself and the things you love.

MeanestNiceLady · 2024-11-26T06:22:36+00:00

Be yourself. Anyone who shames men for having normal human emotions is a misandrist idiot.

It's really unfortunately that society pressures men to never show vulnerability.

_O07 · 2024-11-27T02:41:30+00:00

You good bro, but in order to win over my wemon your gunna have to throw hands with me that too much for your sensitive ass

SprinklesMore8471 · 2024-11-22T13:28:38+00:00

Am I doing anything wrong

Impossible to say from a reddit post. But there certainly is such a thing as being too sensitive, just as there is being too unfeeling.

why is it such a stigma for men that show emotion

Because traditionally, it's the men in any situation people look to for answers, solutions, and level headedness.

I love reading books especially novels and history books,I love architecture,indie music,pop,rock etc and poetry.

Nothing wrong with any of that.

I have also struggled with anxiety especially in my teens,as I felt a bit insecure.

This is the part that provides some evidence that you may be too sensitive. If you're taking things so harshly that it's effecting your confidence, you may have swung too far into the feelings.

I embrace it all since its what makes me be me,

Not necessarily. Anxiety and insecurity aren't always natural feelings. They can certainly come from outside factors like diet, habits, general health. They can also come from a misunderstanding of our own feelings. Feelings are never wrong, sure, but our understanding and reaction to them certainly can be harmful.

Take my 10 year old for example. He cries when we say he can't have candy sometimes, he cries when we ask him to do a chore, he cries when he being punished. This is him not fully understanding the situations and his feelings. It's normal, he's a child, but it's an example of how we deal with our feelings aren't always correct and good for us.

mrkpxx · 2024-11-22T10:47:14+00:00

Strong emotions and empathy are an indication of a lack of compassion.

Title	Is there something wrong with being very sensitive as a man?
Author	Efficient_Resource15
Upvotes	104
Comments	34
Date	November 22, 2024 12:40 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1gwv5hm/is_there_something_wrong_with_being_very/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/is-there-something-wrong-with-being-very-sensitive.1536499 https://theredarchive.com/post/1536499

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