Is this honestly considered Harassment?

Douggem · 2012-10-12T22:55:30+00:00

What if the person who received the comment was your wife or girlfriend? Does that change how you hear the comment in your mind? Would it sound like harassment?

The person who wrote the essay was clearly upset by it- perhaps it is her reaction that is important and not ours.

dumbguyscene28 · 2012-10-12T20:07:00+00:00

ihollaback exists to capture, create trophies of and fetishize these sorts of incidents.

I think some men and women could decide this is harassment and some men and women think it's not. I can understand hearing that out of the blue and trying to understand what was being said and why, and having to re-examine the surroundings and decide if there was now a danger.

I can also see that the Tom Brady standard might apply. It's harassment when it's unwanted and sexy and confident when it's that guy from TubeCrush.

turingtested · 2012-10-13T01:56:05+00:00

I'm a woman. Just hearing that once wouldn't be so bad, but when in an average day multiple dudes are licking their lips at you and making comments it's hard to take it lightly.

I'm skinny and dress very modestly and I still get some of that shit. I guess a comparison might be if you starting lifting weights, and about 10% of women called you 'beefcake' and said shit like, "You weren't handsome before but now you are." One or two comments about your body wouldn't be so bad, but if it were constant it would start to feel like harassment.

rightsbot · 2012-10-12T19:58:19+00:00

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oneiorosgrip · 2012-10-13T03:19:24+00:00

...or if I happened to be with someone, complain about it to them for as long as I could.

Oh, jeez... I bet she has loads of friends. O.o

...after the initial shock at some strange man making a sexual comment...

Sexual? "I like what I see" is sexual? Holy hell, imagine the shock she'd have suffered if he actually... made a sexual comment. The horror!

No, I would not consider this harassment. Maybe due to the fact that I'm fairly plain jane. I do not sculpt my looks and I don't stand out. It might be why on the rare occasion when there is a remark, it doesn't feel like an attack to me, but like a compliment. I guess I take my compliments where I can get 'em, ~~no offense to the hot chicks who just can't stand to be admired...~~ Okay well, yeah. Offense. Shitloads of offense. People like this and their influence on other people's attitudes and perceptions make everything about interacting with the opposite sex scary for both sides. They unnecessarily complicate things with made-up worries, creating tension that does not need to exist.

...one day, he might be sorry he said anything to me or any other woman.

That attitude - that not only should she have the right to determine what gets said to her, but to other women, as well is not a defensive attitude, but a desire to force the world around her to conform to her standards, even at the expense of other people's right to have their own styles and habits of communication. That is something I do consider harassment.

If one of that particular type reads this comment and is offended, fine. I've got an answer for that, too:

Fuck you, Princess Butthurt of Femitopia!
It's not someone else's fault that you treat every little thing in life like it's an attack on your poor widdle pincushiony unprepared-for-life-outside-the-home self. For crying out loud - spending your whole existence with a cloud of aversion around you and a chip on your shoulder, getting up in arms over harmless behavior, is stupid. Writing a melodramatic, whiny-assed rant over someone looking at you and - ::gasp:: - saying words, and how that totally unhinged you and ruined your whole day? Really? If that is all it takes to set you off, you shouldn't be out in public.

A person who says a single line, even if that line is inarticulate and crass, is not harassing anyone. The choice to take offense at the statement doesn't make it so, either - this is more of a case of miss Hannah harassing herself.

Pharmakoza · 2012-10-13T03:37:23+00:00

Everybody take note of the votes. The downvote brigade is here.

aazzqq · 2012-10-13T04:42:48+00:00

A discussion I had in 2X(this is my 2x account because I got banned) where a woman claims asking a random persons number is harassment. Read and see how she redefines everything to try to construct an argument. You'll have to expand to see my downvoted comments.

http://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/113pn5/im_underage_and_sick_of_being_harassed_whenever_i/c6j3bed

MeEvilBob · 2012-10-14T19:41:04+00:00

Gotta love it when women go out of their way to be as beautiful as possible, but when someone they don't know notices their beauty, it's harassment.

unexpecteditem · 2012-10-12T21:14:52+00:00

My understanding of sexual harassment is that it includes any unwanted sexual attention. If that is the case, then taking the cited speech to be sexual attention, all that remains is whether it was wanted. If it was not, then it is, at least by this broad definition, harassment.

EpicJ · 2012-10-12T20:16:34+00:00

Harassment cover a huge amount of actions

ErasmusMRA · 2012-10-12T20:14:26+00:00

Would any of you consider this harassment?

By definition harassment is repetitive behavior intended to disturb or upset. The man's behavior was neither repetitive nor was it meant to disturb or upset.

I just can't see how anyone can make an argument for this being harassment. It's simple mating behavior expressing interest in the woman. It's completely up to her how she wishes to proceed. She could escalate it or ignore the man, as she did, without a problem.

ejk314 · 2012-10-14T16:16:26+00:00

While yes it is a bit dramatic to call it as harassment, you are being just as dramatic by posting as some sort of men's rights concern. There are legitimate reasons to get riled up for men's rights, this is not one of them.

igivefreecoupons · 2012-10-13T01:55:23+00:00

A lot of women pass men like this but they never call it harassment. They usually ignore those comments.

SteelCrossx · 2012-10-12T21:04:36+00:00

I have two feelings about the story. First, she's letting a completely random stranger control her emotions so fully that he can make her cry by saying an offhanded comment. She noted that she has a panic disorder. It makes me sad that she takes something that is admittedly caused by that disorder and instead shifts the blame to one man making a dumb comment, exacerbating it into a huge problem instead of just an example of stupid people saying stupid things.

The second part that bothers me is that she frames this as a rights issue, insisting that he doesn't have the right to say something to her in public that is considered to be in poor taste. The right to free speech is a powerful thing that extends far beyond a single comment to a passing individual.

mythin · 2012-10-12T21:52:13+00:00

Feminists love trying expand the definition of crimes so they can continue to claim to be victimized even by the smallest things. When a woman feels uncomfortable for any reason and they know they won't be able to get away with labeling whatever happened to as "rape", they'll just call it harassment even if doesn't even come close to fitting the legal definition. So basically, making a woman feel uncomfortable in any way should be a criminal offense to these assholes.

ignatiusloyola · 2012-10-12T22:15:04+00:00

Harassment:

the act of systematic and/or continued unwanted and annoying actions of one party or a group, including threats and demands.

Harassment is repeated actions. A single statement is not harassment - a single statement can be rude.

2012-10-12T23:28:13+00:00

No it is not harassment.

NWOslave · 2012-10-13T00:19:21+00:00

Absolutely not harassment. Completely ridiculous. Disapproving of something someone said to you is not harassment. Ever.

friestogo · 2012-10-13T06:05:51+00:00

When they carry out studies looking at the prevalance of sexual harassment, the list of behaviours that is considered sexual harassment is extensive to say the least. "Staring" is considered sexual harassment. If someone looks at you the wrong way and you're particularly paranoid or afraid, you're now a victim of sexual harassment.

Only applies to women though, obviously.

DavidByron · 2012-10-12T22:54:16+00:00

I could see how it might seem boorish or even inconsiderate

That's what harassment is when you translate it from the feminist. Harassment is nothing more than being rude. But only if the "victim" is a woman. Being rude to men is not harassment.

Lonelobo · 2012-10-13T02:41:41+00:00

This is undoubtedly harassment. As to whether it should be punishable by law, probably not.

Title	Is this honestly considered Harassment?
Author	Pseudonymou5
Upvotes	6
Comments	58
Date	October 12, 2012 7:58 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/11dqv8/is_this_honestly_considered_harassment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/is-this-honestly-considered-harassment.1011492 https://theredarchive.com/post/1011492

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