Need an advice

Jbanks1016 · 2024-04-04T04:23:58+00:00

Being called all those things for wanting to lose your virginity to another virgin might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, don’t listen to those morons. There’s nothing wrong with your standards and you don’t need therapy for having them. Be patient and you’ll meet the right one for you, best of luck brother

CommunicationDue9265 · 2024-04-03T23:29:00+00:00

No man keep your standards. Everyone’s got different standards and it’s definitely not too much to ask your partner to bring to the table what you’re bringing to the table. In your case you’re looking for someone who values purity (exactly) as much as you do and there’s nothing wrong with that (especially because you’re walking the walk not talking to talk).

Good luck buddy.

minimumcontribution8 · 2024-04-04T03:28:30+00:00

Be mindful of the environment that you are living in. If you are living in a place where hooked up are the norm (aka cities) then it's pretty hard to find what you want. Go to the country, go to churches. You might find some luck with a traditional country girl who comes from a strict religious family

EfficientSimplicity · 2024-04-04T05:07:30+00:00

Stats show that virgin wives (on their wedding night) are less likely to divorce you that women with a few bodies in their closet. And the more bodies they have, the more they see men as object.

So yeah you’re right but good luck finding a virgin and let us know where you find one

ButWhatOfGlen · 2024-04-04T00:13:17+00:00

You do you.

As an experienced man, I'd tell you that it really doesn't matter much. Once you've had sex, you'll realize where it belongs on the scale of importance in life and make your future decisions based on that. That importance varies a lot throughout life as well.

Right now it feels important for you to have your first lover be a virgin. So be it. Nobody's business but yours.

Best of luck.

Quiet-Worldliness709 · 2024-04-04T00:38:19+00:00

I lowered my standards and she ended up giving me cptsd. Never lower your standards for anyone. And don’t let people pressure you into changing your values.

IamTheConstitution · 2024-04-04T00:00:13+00:00

I would say if the girl had a partner before it’s not a big deal. That’s life. I would say, it’s important that’s she’s just as sexual with you as her past experience. She should be her most sexiest of herself with you if she really likes you.

minimumcontribution8 · 2024-04-04T03:22:58+00:00

I don't see anything wrong with doing what you are believing in. For some people it may be not important but for you it is.

InPrinciple63 · 2024-04-03T23:46:55+00:00

You might be hard pressed to find any 23yo virgins though who are also compatible with you.

If you feel disgust over guys having sex with a prospective partner before you, does that also extend to her own masturbation history, kissing other men with those lips, or other non-intercourse mutual masturbation?

It also depends on how you define virginity.

That you might feel disgust at what other guys before you may have done with a prospective partner that you also wish to do, is cause for concern that you might want to seek therapy for as it represents a dilemma of disgust.

Grand-Juggernaut6937 · 2024-04-03T23:40:59+00:00

I have a feeling you may be happier if you learn how to be comfortable with lower standards. Once you break the seal you might find it wasn’t as important as you thought.

Don’t lower your standards for someone else though.

No-Recognition-4033 · 2024-04-04T03:53:42+00:00

If you're insistent on not changing that standard, because you wouldn't be lowering it by changing it, then I'd suggest going to traditional religion and their houses of worship, that's is the best place to find the, "not before we're married," people. I would personally suggest Christianity, as I am biased.

ReasonablyUnstable · 2024-04-04T03:28:05+00:00

Whether you lower your standards or not, it won't change the reality of the modern landscape.

People, women and men, are exposed to c0rn at earlier and earlier ages, and the girls can act upon it pretty much whenever they feel like it, and the predators (even young ones) are waiting in the wings to take advantage. The point is, you'll never find a virgin if you want to stay legal (as you ought).

kkkan2020 · 2024-04-04T14:25:22+00:00

oh boy.... you might need to leave your country because you might not find what you're looking for there...

Takeonehourly · 2024-04-04T19:58:35+00:00

Good for you, young buck.

I'm proud of you, man. There's nothing wrong with what you're doing.
Trust in yourself and your judgement. You have a good head on your shoulders.

Stay the course, you're gonna be fine.

dudester3 · 2024-04-05T01:56:40+00:00

You're right, the world's wrong.

Tea4089 · 2024-04-04T03:51:48+00:00

If you're religious, which it doesn't sound like you are, then you're probably going to want to wait. If your non-religious, and you're looking for purity in a partner ss the ideal, you probably do have to lower your standards - only because, there's not a lot of women that will meet those standards as you have laid them out. You'll remain lonely and single. Most women have a varied sexual history, but it's not the most important thing when searching for a partner. Some couples fall in love at 80 or 90 years old, and have such an endearing friendship and love, that nothing in their past, which may include a lifetime of sexual partners, can supersede what they have. A too high standard may well keep you from finding the love of your life. Start with finding somebody that has a good heart and a good soul, and don't worry about their sexual history. In the final analysis, it has little bearing on the present and the health of an ongoing love affair. Focusing on the sex part of the relationship, and your partner's history, is akin to putting the cart before the horse.

Morden013 · 2024-04-04T07:40:14+00:00

I am really holding back my tongue here, but how do you think that people learn? Do they all need to start over from zero, the very beginning?

Even at work, you have a mentor, so why not in sex. So, if you get into bed with somebody who is experienced, you will learn faster, probably experience more pleasure and progress better.

Second thing - why do you think you are lowering your standards by having sex with somebody who has previous experience? If anything, they have an advantage over you.

Stop overthinking and chasing some non-existent standards. Go after a person you like, without putting up standards that are not relevant, are outdated and nobody gives a flying-fuck about.

Educational-Coyote83 · 2024-04-04T13:54:03+00:00

Not understanding where the "pedophile" remark is coming from. Sounds like it's insecurity and venom from women who are projecting on to you with their issue being you might choose someone younger than them. I've seen middle aged women call their husbands "pedophiles" when said husbands leave their masculine, overweight ball busting wives for a woman 15 years younger who actually treats him with kindness and respect.

I'm guessing the virgin shaming comes from females and not males, it has to make you laugh considering the way so many feminists crow on and on about how all men are sexual predators. You'd think they'd give kudos to a male virgin but female hypocrisy always rules out in the end. The reason these women have an issue with you being a virgin is they can't use their kitty cats to control or manipulate you.

As far as your standards I would say don't lower them necessarily but keep an open mind, relax and take life as it comes. Here is what I mean, you might meet an awesome woman where you fall in love with each other. Take it from someone older than you social, physical, spiritual, and emotional compatibility are a lot more important than if someone is a virgin or not. I can also tell you that some people are sexually compatible with each other and some are not. There are women with some you'd feel like you were all left hands and feet with in the bedroom and others that would bring out that love stalion in you where you would have intenste physical passion that would add to your love.

My point is tying the not with no idea of your sexual compatibility is a big risk and in my opinion foolish. Before you get married there are things called "tastings" where you sample all of the food and drink that will be served even the cake. Sex is far more important than any of those things I just mentioned but you're going to chance it?

Your choices are not limited to a virgin or a whore who has a high body count. You're putting the cart before the horse not to mention severely limiting your chances of meeting the right person. You would do better to get to know more than a handful of young ladies so you know you are making the right choice. When you meet the right woman you'll know and none of that other stuff will matter to you.

Minimum_Disaster1910 · 2024-04-04T01:51:39+00:00

I’ve read some of your previous posts and frankly what you talk about sounds either insecure or misogynistic

What means me being last?

I don’t know what to tell you man but a lot of these just sound that you’re insecure about what dating a non-virgin says about yourself

Im getting a “leftover”(no offense) person?

You’re not getting a “leftover” person and this comment is probably why some people call you misogynistic, there is no physical difference to a virgin and non-virgin, there are no changes to a woman after she’s has sex for the first time same with a man, and if you’re going around considering non-virgin women lesser than what they would be virgin then you’re scaring a lot of people away

what did her do with the other guys?

This doesn’t effect you, what she’s done in the past has had no permanent effect on her body and has no effect on her overall, and not being able to become close to someone without worrying about their sexual past either speaks on what you think about yourself or how you value women, both are not gonna help you out in dating

I just cant stand that she has been with people before

At first glance this really sounds like you’re insecure about being compared to other guys but you say that’s not the case and unless it’s for a religious reason it seems you just hold lesser value for non-virgin women

Is she not attractive as she was before?

I don’t really see why you’d consider this if you’re not worried or insecure about your own look, isn’t if you find her attractive when you meet all that matters?

Honestly you need to actually consider why you’re looking for a virgin women and be honest with yourself as your motives might be scaring a lot of people away

humus_intake · 2024-04-04T06:13:38+00:00

What would make things other men had done to your partner disgusting but things you would do somehow different? Genuinely interested to know your perspective.

SadDot666 · 2024-04-04T12:27:58+00:00

Lose your virginity to a trans girl:))))

WannabeLeagueBowler · 2024-04-04T06:21:07+00:00

I have known people like you who are old now and tell me they regret it and wished they had not passed on so many opportunities to experience life. Sticking to principles like that is probably something that comes naturally to you. Ask yourself what is the point. Are you proving something to yourself? How would you feel if you were still in the same boat in a few years, a few decades? I would change course, and I am normally very stubborn.

Title	Need an advice
Author	AFuckingSapien
Upvotes	19
Comments	30
Date	April 3, 2024 10:43 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1bv6rs3/need_an_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/need-an-advice.1513859 https://theredarchive.com/post/1513859

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