Men and women have power imbalances when it comes to parenthood. A woman can choose whether or not to be a mother, because it’s her body, her choice. If she gets pregnant, it is within her every right to abort the pregnancy. Sex does not equal consent to being a mother.

However, it seems society is backwards like it is in so many other ways. It views men as having the ability to consent to fatherhood through the act of sex. If a mother wants to keep a child, but a father doesn’t, he doesn’t have the choice to opt out. If this was truly a two-way street, shouldn’t a man have the choice to opt out of parenthood after the act of sex, the same way a woman does? In the case of a mother wanting to keep a child and a father not wanting to, she could still opt for single motherhood if she was that committed. Meanwhile, a father would be given a second chance to opt into parenthood just like a mother.

Digging into arguments against gender equality, proponents may argue that a woman bears the physical costs of a pregnancy. This is true, but it ignores the fact that a mother has a choice to bear the cost. If a father opts out, say within your typical legal abortion time window, the mother can reassess whether she is willing to bear the financial and physical costs of a child. It’s not like she would be caught by surprise, and suddenly she’s a single mother. No one can force a woman to be a mother, just like no one can force a man to be a father. This respects her bodily autonomy, it just also extends that same grace to him. There is a middle ground here that dismantles double standards and respects everyone’s autonomy.