"Take it like a man" ?????

Skywarriorad · 2026-03-29T05:47:31+00:00

My mom loves to use the phrase “youre not man enough…” for bullshit when we argue. I communicate via text preferably, especially with arguing, she yells that im not man enough to talk face to face… im autistic, i just cant operate face to face. But also the other night we argued, she left the house to walk the dogs, i got my cats and shut my door cause i was done talking for the night, as soon as she came home she was outside my door yelling that i wasnt man enough to leave my door open. She would then say shes not trying to fight, after harassing me right outside my bedroom door. Before anyone tells me to move out, i want to but am in no position to…

ThatOneCloneTrooper · 2026-03-29T09:19:16+00:00

This is a bit personal but:

My gf at the time and I had an pregnancy despite us being super careful. We decided to abort it given that I had only just graduated and got my first job and she was in her final year of studies aka the hardest year.

It ate me up inside so much because I've always wanted to be a family man and have as many kids as I could afford to look after.

I felt like I took the "coward's way out" and regret my actions to this day.

I cried at night in silence for hours and I know my gf at the time did too.

After about 3 weeks I finally broke and sat my mum down when it was just us two at home and told her about it. Half-way through the story I started to choke up.

Once I got it out, you know what she said?

She had a stone cold straight dead blank face, and went: "Why are you crying about this kind of thing? Men don't care about these kinds of things. Why does it matter?"

This was near 3 years ago now and I'll never forget the day my sweet mother who was always there for me just became another name on the list of "don't open up to them".

World-Three · 2026-03-29T12:03:23+00:00

Don't even know why I'm so upset about this, considering I'm female

If you really sit down and think of how many people probably realized and came to the conclusion similar to Ed Wuncler's "Wait a minute... I'm white!", you'll realize that you shouldn't let that idea stop you from caring in the same way you should feel about this only reaching your heart because you have a boyfriend.

I do feel like the "our" in our men pokes at that point. As some women really only realize how men get treated when they have a man they care about suffering through that. It can be a brother, boyfriend, husband, or even a son... But that inevitably illustrates how many men in her life she didn't see it happen to (or care) until it got there.

Just take a step back and realize that you've been walking on a frozen ocean for this long until you've called out a crack... It isn't the first crack, might not even be the first you've seen, but it's the first you cared to call out.

TekatoZikame2 · 2026-03-29T05:15:56+00:00

It's been embedded in us from very young age for many generations to suck up our pain and feelings. To be the rock, the protector, not show weakness. I guess we just never broke the cycle.

I'm a bit torn on this tbh because yes, it's sick and twisted but on the other hand, we need strong and disciplined men who can overcome hardships in order for the society to stay intact.

masculinitytrap · 2026-03-29T06:16:15+00:00

Men weren’t taught to hide emotions for no reason. They were taught that if they fall apart, things fall apart.

People lose respect for you. People stop relying on you.

You become the problem instead of the solution. So “take it like a man” became survival, not ideology. The real issue isn’t that men don’t feel. It’s that no one really taught them how to process things without losing their role.

That’s the trap.

United-Time-2653 · 2026-03-29T11:30:33+00:00

Thank you

PastDifficulty7 · 2026-03-29T11:29:57+00:00

It’s gross towards both genders. 1. It trains boys to not express needs and emotions, and 2. It teaches that responding to hardship is a masculine trait, not a feminine trait.

apokrif1 · 2026-03-29T17:18:55+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/CharacterRant/comments/xmjyjz/boys_dont_cry_is_misandrist_not_toxic_masculinaty/

Long_Associate_4511 · 2026-03-29T16:57:14+00:00

diabolical phrase ngl

Mycroft033 · 2026-03-29T14:18:11+00:00

This is a difficult topic. On the one hand, you have the reality that men are not allowed to show any emotion besides anger, really. But on the other, you have the reality that men are different than women, and about 80% of us process things very differently. The ‘men should be allowed to cry’ movement can be very dangerous to men, because it very frequently treats men as defective women. And that’s simply untrue. Most men retreat inwards to process things. And we shouldn’t call it unhealthy. But also most men can probably benefit from a supportive partner who they can rely on to be there for them and lift them up in a time of need. These things are not mutually exclusive. The idea of ‘take it like a man’ is unhealthy when taken to the extreme. But it is rooted in the fundamental reality that men are protectors, men are built to be warriors. Frequently in crisis it becomes ‘figure it out now, cry about it later when it’s all over’ essentially. And because we’re men, we can do that. We can shove aside our feelings and focus on the task at hand. But, shove things down forever, and a part of you slowly dies. There has to be an outlet somewhere. It’s different for every man.

That’s where you can come in, I suppose. Your boyfriend might benefit from knowing that you can trust him to be strong for you when you need him, and that him sharing things that are difficult with you doesn’t diminish that. And it’s your job to make sure that’s true, because the sad reality is also that many men have opened up to their female partners only to be bitten in their most vulnerable moments and then kicked to the curb because to her, a moment of weakness is a sign of incompetence. It’s almost instinctual to some women. You have to make sure you’re not one of them. Because I guarantee you, it’s a lot more women than you think.

You can’t fix society.

But you can be the change you want to see. Tell your boyfriend something like this. “I love that you are so strong for me when things are tough. But I want you to know that while you may need to take some things like a man, I’m here to share the burden. There will be many times when I need you to be strong for me, and I know you will rise to them, because that’s who you are, a good man. But there are some times when you don’t have to bear the burden alone, when I can be strong for you, too. And I don’t exactly know how to tell the difference between them, but I’d like to find out with you. I want to share the burden you bear, because I care about you. And I promise never to see you as lesser for your vulnerability, or use it against you in fights. You are a wall around me, and I am so grateful for it. But walls need to be repaired and reinforced from the inside. Help me be that repairman, that reinforcement.”

Something along those lines.

Again, you can’t change society. Just your relationship. Societal change starts with you, though. Do it with the right heart behind it, and you’ll make an impact.

Spare_Freedom4339 · 2026-03-29T21:07:16+00:00

The way I deal with most things like these, is I realize that if they’re a woman they’re obviously not a man so what would they know the FIRST THING about being a real man.

And for when other men say it, it’s more of the fact that what’s “real” is subjective. So what’s the opinion of a stranger matter.

:)

Politicoaster69 · 2026-03-31T14:16:43+00:00

"A real man would..."

Is a preamble to some horrifically toxic bullshit. Every. Time.

Miles-Standoffish · 2026-04-01T00:38:18+00:00

I couldn't give even one tiny bit of shit if anyone tries to demean me with saying this.

I'm enough. I'm not perfect, I'm just who I am. If you have a problem with me and vibe it to me with disrespect, you are AUTOMATICALLY WRONG. You have told me you are not worth me caring about.

Last-Okra2746 · 2026-04-14T10:32:22+00:00

As a man,I disagree with you on this one sister, naturally the gender with more testosterone should have better mental strength

Wylanderuk · 2026-03-29T11:30:08+00:00

Men are not women and we deal with stuff differently than you do.

SidewaysGiraffe · 2026-03-29T13:10:47+00:00

How? By means of evolutionary pressure, coupled with an absolute lack of self-reflection- maybe even self-awareness.

Social norms are strongly shaped by the circumstances we evolved under, but not entirely determined by them, especially with the whole "free will" thing we've got going. The sad and sorry truth is that, when she finds her man crying, or even openly expressing weakness (like women so often tell men to do), the average woman is going to lose attraction for him; this is one of the primary origins of the dreaded "Ick" that's such a common topic of conversation in the dating sphere. This thought terrifies men, and they act accordingly. She wants him to open up and share his feelings, but feels repulsed when he does. What's a girl to do?

Grow up, that's what. Men are people, not machines for dispensing money and violence. But women, too, are people, and are just as capable of logic and reason as men are. You may be less prone to thinking thinking things through before taking action, and you're certainly not encouraged to be- but you still CAN, and the decision is yours and yours alone.

So what's a woman to do when instinct tells her that her guy isn't a fit mate because he shows weakness? Tell it to shut the fuck up, because SHE is the one in charge, and this is HER man, who she has CHOSEN, and she is not going to let natural selection stand in the way of her happiness OR his.

Bananajuice1729 · 2026-03-29T12:01:23+00:00

It's how it's been for a while. It doesn't get much attention in society because women are paid less and raped more, and apparently as a society we can only focus on one issue at a time. First LGBTQIA+, then racism, now human rights, once something's in the spotlight, the rest doesn't get much attention overall, especially if it can be seen as the cause of one of the problems. If people are constantly talking about how horrible and disgusting men are (and more of us are than I'd like to admit), people aren't going to be as open to talking about the issues men face

JubileeSupreme · 2026-03-29T05:18:38+00:00

To me this reads as phony support. OP hates that men have a precedent to set that women are not obligated to. Everything should be perfectly asexual and androgynous and OP has our full support for emasculation. The only thing the post is missing is an "it's alright to cry" emoji.

Sorry, OP, your heart may be in the right place (sorta kinda) but there are differences between the sexes and one part of being a man is the ability to take it like one.

Gentlemen, don't let 'em sweet-talk you out of your male identity. Crying is fer sissies.

Auspea · 2026-03-30T02:17:07+00:00

Not every thing is about you,

Future-Stretch-401 · 2026-03-29T06:12:25+00:00

It’s not offensive to most men. It just means to be resilient and don’t give up, to have pride in yourself. I mean it could be offensive to women because they think it means that men think they are in some way better. But it’s no different than something like your nationality or your religion that you hold up as being a standard of how to behave.

It isn’t really even about being a man; when I coach kids (boys or girls) I make sure they understand no arguing with officials, and at the end of the game you form a line and shake hands with the other team. It doesn’t matter how dirty they were, how upset you are about losing, how many mistakes you made, by showing them respect you’re also showing that you have respect for yourself.

Charming_Sky_1381 · 2026-03-30T08:29:55+00:00

Actually a pussy post. Man up brother

SandwichOk9241 · 2026-03-29T08:37:08+00:00

Nobody even says that omg yall running out of shit to say 😭

Title	"Take it like a man" ?????
Author	Professional-Rip9187
Upvotes	223
Comments	42
Date	March 29, 2026 4:37 AM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1s6lrv8/take_it_like_a_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/take-it-like-a-man.1576618 https://theredarchive.com/post/1576618

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